Lost and Broken
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Houston Texas
Posts: 2
Lost and Broken
Hello all, I just want to say I found this site on google looking for answers on what I can do if and when my wife gets out of rehab. I have read some of the posts on here and the one that really got me smiling and finally thinking that I will be okay was the Addicts Playbook. Everything people have posted on there has been exactly verbatim to what my wife has said/texted to me. Here is my story.
My wife and I have been together for 6 years, married for 2 1/2 with a 3 year old son. I knew when we first started dating (She was 19) that she liked to take vicodin at work. I caught her taking them one day and we had an arguement about them. She promised to stop and as far as I know she did.
Last month I was using her phone and some text messages came across from another man that were really vulger and racy. I confronted her about it and she admitted to cheating on me (but only "making out")...I immediatly did not believe her and still do not to this day because I find out more and more about him from her friends. I kicked her out of our house for a while and we started over, talked about everything and outlined what we needed to work on. I started noticing things missing from around the house a week later (my cloths, dvd's, sons cloths, toys, sports collectibles, power washer, the list goes on) I chalked it up to her taking all these things to her parents when I kicked her out and she told me thats what happend. Last weekend I got a phone call from my bank about some transactions they wanted to know about. I never take cash out, I always use my debit card but someone had taken out over $200. I asked my wife about it and she said she had to pay her dad back for her cell phone bill. I left it at that, but come Monday her friend catches her stealing $150 from her. Her friend calls me and asks me what to do, I told her to go to my house, grab her purse and if the money is there take it back. She opened my wifes purse and the first thing she sees is a plastic bag full of vicodin, at least 25 green pills with watson 503 on them. That night was a huge fight because I found all this information out from other people and she would keep lying until I told her "I have talked to such and such and he admitted to me to selling you vicodin for the past few years"....I then found out she had been taking our 3 year old son with her to purchase this stuff. I asked her about all the things missing and she still denied pawning them. The next day I told her the marriage was over and she needed to leave. I wasn't sure if I really meant it but I could not have her around my son. I no longer let her call herself his mother ( it was a rash decision to make saying that in the heat of the moment). I let her stay that night but with the stipulation that she will go to rehab the next day if she ever wants to be in my or her sons life. She has been in rehab since then and is slowly admitting to things but gets mad if I ask a question.
I want to believe that she slept with another guy because of the vicodin and all the things she said to me ( I was not compassionate enough, I didn't love her enough, I didn't give her enough attention, I wasn't romantic enough ) were all because of that but I didn't know what to believe. Until I started reading all of the posts on here, it's like they are all a broken record. Everything she said, others have said. I don't think I could ever fully stop loving her even after she has done all of this to me, and placed my son in situations where anything could have gone wrong. I am trying to be supportive of her in there, i bring her food when allowed, I talk to her on the phone everynight when she calls, I am going to go to a few AA meetings with her. But I don't want it to be for nothing, I am scared that she will come home and one day get a text from someone asking her to come over and hang out and that will lead to taking vicodin and or her messing around again. I know that I will always be looking over my shoulder to see if she messes up again. But I am glad that there is a place like this that allows me to know I am not alone.
My wife and I have been together for 6 years, married for 2 1/2 with a 3 year old son. I knew when we first started dating (She was 19) that she liked to take vicodin at work. I caught her taking them one day and we had an arguement about them. She promised to stop and as far as I know she did.
Last month I was using her phone and some text messages came across from another man that were really vulger and racy. I confronted her about it and she admitted to cheating on me (but only "making out")...I immediatly did not believe her and still do not to this day because I find out more and more about him from her friends. I kicked her out of our house for a while and we started over, talked about everything and outlined what we needed to work on. I started noticing things missing from around the house a week later (my cloths, dvd's, sons cloths, toys, sports collectibles, power washer, the list goes on) I chalked it up to her taking all these things to her parents when I kicked her out and she told me thats what happend. Last weekend I got a phone call from my bank about some transactions they wanted to know about. I never take cash out, I always use my debit card but someone had taken out over $200. I asked my wife about it and she said she had to pay her dad back for her cell phone bill. I left it at that, but come Monday her friend catches her stealing $150 from her. Her friend calls me and asks me what to do, I told her to go to my house, grab her purse and if the money is there take it back. She opened my wifes purse and the first thing she sees is a plastic bag full of vicodin, at least 25 green pills with watson 503 on them. That night was a huge fight because I found all this information out from other people and she would keep lying until I told her "I have talked to such and such and he admitted to me to selling you vicodin for the past few years"....I then found out she had been taking our 3 year old son with her to purchase this stuff. I asked her about all the things missing and she still denied pawning them. The next day I told her the marriage was over and she needed to leave. I wasn't sure if I really meant it but I could not have her around my son. I no longer let her call herself his mother ( it was a rash decision to make saying that in the heat of the moment). I let her stay that night but with the stipulation that she will go to rehab the next day if she ever wants to be in my or her sons life. She has been in rehab since then and is slowly admitting to things but gets mad if I ask a question.
I want to believe that she slept with another guy because of the vicodin and all the things she said to me ( I was not compassionate enough, I didn't love her enough, I didn't give her enough attention, I wasn't romantic enough ) were all because of that but I didn't know what to believe. Until I started reading all of the posts on here, it's like they are all a broken record. Everything she said, others have said. I don't think I could ever fully stop loving her even after she has done all of this to me, and placed my son in situations where anything could have gone wrong. I am trying to be supportive of her in there, i bring her food when allowed, I talk to her on the phone everynight when she calls, I am going to go to a few AA meetings with her. But I don't want it to be for nothing, I am scared that she will come home and one day get a text from someone asking her to come over and hang out and that will lead to taking vicodin and or her messing around again. I know that I will always be looking over my shoulder to see if she messes up again. But I am glad that there is a place like this that allows me to know I am not alone.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Welcome to SR, I am so sorry about your wife's addiction but glad she has gone to rehab. That said, rehab does not cure the addict, it teaches them ways to cope with life without drugs.
You were wise to keep your daughter safe, the children are the ones who need protection more than anyone.
Take a read around, especially the sticky threads at the top of this forum. You will find some helpful reading there and I hope it will help you see what you are facing here.
Whether your marriage continues or ends, you will need some support to get you through the difficult times. We are all here for you, and if you have any meetings in your area, they may be helpful to you as they have been to many of us. Al-anon, Nar-anon and CoDA are three similar fellowships that help us find our balance again after living with addiction.
Please stick around, others will be along to share their stories and tell you what helped them.
Hugs
You were wise to keep your daughter safe, the children are the ones who need protection more than anyone.
Take a read around, especially the sticky threads at the top of this forum. You will find some helpful reading there and I hope it will help you see what you are facing here.
Whether your marriage continues or ends, you will need some support to get you through the difficult times. We are all here for you, and if you have any meetings in your area, they may be helpful to you as they have been to many of us. Al-anon, Nar-anon and CoDA are three similar fellowships that help us find our balance again after living with addiction.
Please stick around, others will be along to share their stories and tell you what helped them.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 98
Hang in there. Yeah, all the stories seem the same in one way or another. It's nice (yet sad only because of our situations) that there are some nice people on here to help you weed things out. It's taken me a while to get to where I'm at now (still not out of the woods yet) but a lot of people on here have opened my eyes to many things. Best of luck and keep coming back.
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