ToberMummer

I'm new here. It's day 8. My boyfriend asked me to join this forum yesterday, and after reading some posts, it seems like a really supportive place with a lot of inspiring people. I'm focusing on just taking it one day at a time right now. I get anxious when I think about never having another drink. And I get nervous that I'll slide back three months from now. I'm determined, but still scared. Thinking about it one day at a time lets me celebrate a tiny success every night.
We poured half a bottle of rum down the kitchen sink a few nights ago. It sounds silly, I know, but it felt really liberating. I used to be the type to get upset with a friend if they left half a drink on the table and left when we'd go out to eat. Dumping that much liquor would have seemed like a waste. I won't say I wasn't tempted when I twisted the cap off, but getting rid of it felt great.
I don't know that I'm ready to share my whole story right now, but I'll get on it when I feel a little more confident. Anyway, it's nice to meet you all, and read your stories. I wish everyone the best, and welcome any advice or insight you'd like to share (especially things to do with my free time, since I'm no longer sleeping all day and waking up just to drink again). Good luck to everyone.

Opivotal

Welcome ToberMummer! Congratulations on 8 days.

This sticky has lots of great suggestions for your free time.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ething-do.html



Best Wishes To You!

FredG

Welcome - Congrats on 8 days. As to free time - I would suggest you spend it as close to others in sobriety as you can.

tjololo

i enjoy music with single day travelling . it would be nice if you can reconnect to your childhood hobbies or the things you have longed at that age. sometimes those things may seem ridiculous but it'll help you open up. and yeah have made it to this day it's awesome. keep it up. take care.

doggonecarl

First off, Welcome to SR.

Don't fret about never having another drink. Just get through today without drinking. Then tomorrow, do the same thing. Stay focused each day on being sober and be committed to your recovery. Then, when three months gets here, you'll be able to handle it.

ToberMummer

Thanks Carl. Also, adorable puppy. =)

bryangt

Welcome & congratz---sounds like you have the right attitude to succeed! Wish you the best!

sugarbear1

Welcome to SR!

Glad you are here!

Live2Run25

Tober, Welcome! You took a big step coming here. That's a great start. I too had anxiety in the begining about never drinking again, but as time goes on and I see that i'm a better person without drinking, I find myself not even wanted to look back to alcohol. One day at a time has worked for me 72 days now. You can do it!

Beetle53

Hi tober! I'm on day 8 too. Congrats and welcome!!people here are amazing and supportive. SR is a great tool to connect with others and has been a godsend for me. :-)

Itchy

katan

Welcome to SR!

hypochondriac

Well done on 8 days Tober! That's a massive achievement! I'm always impressed when anyone gets sober without SR. Have you been getting any other support? I hope you find what you need here, it's a great place x

Bazerington

HI!!!! :-)
Good too see you on here. Hope you're ok and well done on8 days :-)

Hevyn

Welcome to the family. We're so glad you joined us - and here's hoping you'll find all sorts of encouragement to help you through this time. We all understand what it's like, and what you're going through.

Congratulations on Day 8 - that is fabulous! Good for you for deciding there's a better way to live. You can do this.

ToberMummer

Thanks for the encouragement everyone. I'm having a hard time right now. I have done some unspeakably terrible things while drinking. I hurt a person that I love very much. I feel sick even thinking about it now, and this is daily. It's difficult to be happy about each day of sobriety when I think about what a terrible person I've been, especially to the people I love. And the guilt feels so bad that sometimes all I can think about is a glass of wine. I haven't given in, and I don't plan or want to. But how do I come to terms with the awful things I've done? Anybody else been here?

427

Sup,Tober! I'm on day #5. Hey, alcohol makes ya do things you wouldn't normally, and you're certainly not alone. Can't erase the past, but not drinking can help prevent the future events.... I'm feeling staying away from the booze is a gift to me, and I know it's a gift to those who love me and who I've hurt. Forgiveness is also a gift.

Guess what I'm thinking is, if we can forgive ourselves and move on then maybe others will.... At any rate, if we don't forgive ourselves we're likely to make it worse - on ourselves and others -- by drinking.

Read a lot on here. Lots of people have been there. Lots.

least

Welcome to the family!

Auvers

Welcome, you will find the people here very supportive. Good thoughts and ideas abound. Regarding the regret you have for past actions, it might be good to put that aside if you can, use your mental energy to get through the tough first few weeks, be gentle on yourself, love the part of you that could stand up to the old familiar crutch and stand up to the addiction. Your brain will be a lot better able to sort through things that happened in the past and figure out how to deal with them once you get a bit farther down the road.

Beetle53

I've been there Tober, more times than I can count honestly. The only way I know of to find forgiveness is to atone for my mistakes. It's not enough to be or say sorry. It's worthless to hang onto guilt and beat ourselves up- that just drags us down and makes the cravings so much worse. And, who does that help? Atonement can't happen over night either. Maybe whoever you hurt will never be willing to forgive you- but if you take your mistakes and learn from them, adjust so you don't allow yourself to make the same mistake again, and learn from it- that's a positive thing. Sometimes that's the most we can ask for... Atonement is WAY harder than being sorry or feeling guilty. Anyone can be sorry and feel guilty but still do the same sh*t over and over. This (atonement) requires accountability, a willingness to change, ownership, and real action to express that to another person in a meaningful way. That being said- it doesn't require self-loathing, guilt, or punishment. You have to forgive yourself too and I hope you will! Nobody can change what they've already done. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and try to be better. That's how I look at it. :-) Hang in there!!!