GoldfishSyn

I was at a bridal shower yesterday and everyone was given an index card to write down a piece of marital advice for the bride. In lieu of writing something like “are you sure you want to do this?” or “run! run very far away!” I decided not to fill it out. This led me to reflect on what I know about healthy marriages, which is, admittedly, very little. And I’m curious, what would YOU write on that index card? What makes a marriage happy (other than the absence of drug addiction)?

catlovermi

OK, I'll bite.

Pick someone who is Committed to Courtesy, Consideration, and Comedy.

There's a lot packed into those four Cs.

CLMI

outtolunch

That's where it all begins.....

SundaysChild

When in doubt, keep your mouth shut.

RoseMadder

I'll add a crucial C to the mix- communication.

AlwaysGrowing

God First and above all else. He never fails us. The only perfect one.

bryangt

I second Communication....add Comforting.....counting on.....

Happier

I got this simple word of advice 18 years ago and it has served me well...........

"Be nice to each other"

dandylion

Treat him the way you want to be treated.

dandylion

crazybabie

Communication, and honesty are must for me

Jody675

since my marriage ended over 8 years ago i have had to have a really hard look at what a healthy relationship would mean to me, and have had a relationship with a handful of people and i must say, what people say they want, and what they really want are two completely different things.

so i think although i agree with the list that has already been created, a saying that is written on this site so many times, probably means more to me than anything else....

ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS...so now i just look for a man who does what he says when he says, and one that can handle honest communication, and more importantly, can give honest communication back (generally the biggest failing).

story74

If he goes out and party's and stays out all night and doesn't have a good job and isn't financially responsible....RUN!

emptyshell

GoldfishSyn I have been in this same situation before. I also had no idea what to write b/c I too don't really know what a healthy relationship is about. To make matters worse it was my best friends bridal shower and she had figured out by the end of the game that I was the one who left it blank. I felt embarassed. But after it was all over and everyone left she turned to me and hugged me and said someday you will know what to write and I will be there with you every step of the way good or bad, I cried. So I guess looking back on that and my only healthy relationship (my best friend) I would have to say emotional support is one of the keys to a healthy relationship, always being there for each other during the good and bad.

Faithlove

I don't really know what makes a great marriage either. My AH has destroyed my trust for him in more ways than one. However, when I had my fairy tale wedding, we did this at my shower. I still have the cards but have no desire to look at them. Anyway, one comment I remember and was told often is not to go to sleep mad at each other.

I'm not sure how that applies when you're fuming mad and your AH passes out. Or when you're fine and your AH passes out but then you find some of his drugs, accessories, or texts to his dealer or other women. So, I heeded the advice on my cards and woke his ridiculous self up so I could give him a piece of my mind.

I can't figure it out (I'm being sarcastic). I took their advice and still had a miserable marriage. :/

GoldfishSyn

I have heard the 'never go to bed angry' one a lot. I think if I applied that to my current marriage, I would never, ever sleep!!