lsams34

As my AH is in a very bad place in this disease, when I complain and vocal my frustrations with the situation she says to me "you wouldnt treat/leave someone with cancer or heart disease would you?" While I do know that addiction is a disease as any of those are I do not appreciate her views on what should be acceptable. I would in a heartbeat divorce him bc of her. Its sad that I tollerate being tortured by both of them.

Seren

To quote another member here: "I probably would leave them if they kept going out and buying cancer at the store."

lsams34

thank you for that I have been spinning in my mind how to piece together a statement like that!

fourmaggie

talk about "guilt" treatment...

wellnowwhat

she doesn't want him to come home to her, and have your problem become her problem.

LifeRecovery

I had to learn that my mother in law was not going to be a safe person for me to have this kind of conversation with. Luckily I had others that were.

This was my version of crazy, doing the same thing over and over (talking to her) and anticipating different results.

outtolunch

You have no more control over her than you do him or anyone else for that matter.

Focusing on them takes so much of our time and energy that we can avoid working on ourselves. It's rather conveneient, eh.

fireproofing

When my brother's wife was struggling as you are with his alcohol, pot, crack addictions...my mom said to her..."leave him, divorce him if you have to and when he gets well if the love is still there and you both want to rebuild what's to say you can't get back together, even get remarried"...she divorced him...his life is still a mess, she has moved on with hers and is finding a path to happiness.

It's not fair what you MIL is saying to you...it's all about making you feel guilty, about having some kind of notion that you can help or save him...