godismyhope

Hello,

My bf and I live together, He use MJ everyday probably smokes 3 times a day and be high all the time. His addictions is stressing me out. He could stay long hours at the casino and play cards and come home at 2 to 3 am in the morning. He was coming home late 3 to 4 times a week lately becoz of his gambling. what should I do? please help me!

amaslow

My ex was a pot addict and had a gambling problem too. He went to treatment twice. He finallly did get clean and stayed clean for 6 years. He then started having really apathetic behavior, wouldn't work etc.. He probably relapsed then, but I never knew for sure. I do not that he did start smoking pot again within a year of our getting separated.

My advice - there is little you can do. If you keep living with him, he will take you down. I hope you are not dependant on him for support. Pot is not physically addictive, but it takes some real will power and desire to shake it... Find an Alanon meeting.

outtolunch

He's living life as he sees fit to do. You can accept him as is/where is knowing addiction is progressive or leave.

It's that tween part where we get wound up in the fantasy that we have the magic power to change them into the guy we need and want, that's a real killer.

We often confuse trying to control other people with setting boundaries for ourselves. " You will/will not ...or else is an attempt to control. It does not work.

" I will/ willnot..." is a boundary.

"I don't do relationship with an addict" is a boundary. It does not seek to control the other persson. We simply move on and seek healthier outcomes for ourselves.

" I love him so" is not an excuse to accept unacceptable and progressive behaviors.

catlovermi

Perhaps that is the wrong question.

Perhaps the question is: Is this what I want in a partner?

neferkamichael

Godismyhope, I would have smoke weed in my sleep if I could have figured out how too. Just don't let him spend your money on his habits.

Learn2Live

This does not sound like a good relationship or a person who is capable of having a good relationship. I would find another BF, who does not have addiction or alcoholism problems.

crazybabie

My brother switched addictions back and forth he started drinking became an alcoholic then started crack when drinking then when he stopped those he would gamble , he had barred his self from casinos twice that I know of he claims he is now clean yet he still smokes pot so NO he isn't clean the fact that he is smoking tells me he is just switching addictions.

My AH started with pot and graduated to opiates as far as I know it was only pot for 34 years but who knows either way it isn't a positive thing and I do not want too live my life that way.

I feel pretty sure you don't enjoy the loneliness IMO, you could start Ala-non meetings and go from there after all you have a lot of free time.