My story (long)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Mount Holly
Posts: 2
My story (long)
Hello everyone,
I am new to the forums, and am glad to see such a large active community. I am 19, and both of my parents are on drugs. Both parents always used marijuana, but that never disrupted anything. My mom became manically depressed and left us when I was 4. 10 years ago, she started using crack, and her life has fallen apart since then. She is homeless and resorts to prostitution. When my parents had joint custody, I would spend days homeless with her, wandering around during the day, eating at the Salvation Army, and sleeping in a shelter. As I have grown, I have gradually let go of my mother and stopped paying her attention, because she'll steal my money and make me drive her around. I used to be able to escape to my father's house (who had sole custody in the end), but in the last 5 years, my dad has also succumbed to crack cocaine. Last year he almost died in the hospital from complications, but he recovered. However, he continued to use crack. Life is a struggle. My dad puts his smoking buddies and the drugs before me. There is nothing to eat, because my dad spends his entire disability check in a day on the drugs, and spends the rest of the month searching for scrap metal. Dad still gets about $10 of EBT, which he spends on canned drinks (because you can sell the aluminum). Last month, he sold my guitar while I was at my girlfriend's house. Things like this are common. Recently, I got a job, and now my dad always asks me for money and gets mad when I say "no" and lectures me about how I need to start contributing. I got into Chapel Hill, but went to UNCC for my girlfriend, and now I'm there on scholarship doing premedical biology with a 3.4 GPA. It just sickens me that nearly everyone I know has two happily married parents who have jobs and buy their kids clothes, pay for their cars, pay for their college, and get them apartments, when I only have one parent in my life, and he won't even feed me. It has made me feel small in the past, but recently, I have taken the strife and turned it into motivation to get into medical school and get as far away from this place as possible. I am just done with my parents. I will leave and never look back as soon as I have the means to do so. My children will lack two grandparents, but I will make up for it by being the best father I can be. I still live with anger every day, but I live with the hope that my future will be bright, as it is turning out to be, and it is just a matter of time until I will never have to face it again.
I am new to the forums, and am glad to see such a large active community. I am 19, and both of my parents are on drugs. Both parents always used marijuana, but that never disrupted anything. My mom became manically depressed and left us when I was 4. 10 years ago, she started using crack, and her life has fallen apart since then. She is homeless and resorts to prostitution. When my parents had joint custody, I would spend days homeless with her, wandering around during the day, eating at the Salvation Army, and sleeping in a shelter. As I have grown, I have gradually let go of my mother and stopped paying her attention, because she'll steal my money and make me drive her around. I used to be able to escape to my father's house (who had sole custody in the end), but in the last 5 years, my dad has also succumbed to crack cocaine. Last year he almost died in the hospital from complications, but he recovered. However, he continued to use crack. Life is a struggle. My dad puts his smoking buddies and the drugs before me. There is nothing to eat, because my dad spends his entire disability check in a day on the drugs, and spends the rest of the month searching for scrap metal. Dad still gets about $10 of EBT, which he spends on canned drinks (because you can sell the aluminum). Last month, he sold my guitar while I was at my girlfriend's house. Things like this are common. Recently, I got a job, and now my dad always asks me for money and gets mad when I say "no" and lectures me about how I need to start contributing. I got into Chapel Hill, but went to UNCC for my girlfriend, and now I'm there on scholarship doing premedical biology with a 3.4 GPA. It just sickens me that nearly everyone I know has two happily married parents who have jobs and buy their kids clothes, pay for their cars, pay for their college, and get them apartments, when I only have one parent in my life, and he won't even feed me. It has made me feel small in the past, but recently, I have taken the strife and turned it into motivation to get into medical school and get as far away from this place as possible. I am just done with my parents. I will leave and never look back as soon as I have the means to do so. My children will lack two grandparents, but I will make up for it by being the best father I can be. I still live with anger every day, but I live with the hope that my future will be bright, as it is turning out to be, and it is just a matter of time until I will never have to face it again.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 67
I know how you feel. My father died when I was 16 and my mother was a prescribtion drug addict. I was doing well at school and in university, however my mom did not appreciate my efforts at all to say at least. Once she even threatened me with a knife if I don't get out of the kitchen with my books. Looking back I should have moved out as soon as I turned 18 as staying with her longer messed up my head even more.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: not sure
Posts: 452
Bless you, dear one. I'm glad that you are at least 19. I hope you apply for grants or scholarships for your schooling, live on campus with a meal ticket so you can be comfortable and filled and away from the chaos you have grown up in.
You will have to be very strong to stay away from your parents, but it is best. Your dad will continue to try to guilt you into taking care of him. It should not be that way! Pu sound like a young man with a plan, and I'm very proud for working so hard to rise above this way of life.
Good luck to you!
You will have to be very strong to stay away from your parents, but it is best. Your dad will continue to try to guilt you into taking care of him. It should not be that way! Pu sound like a young man with a plan, and I'm very proud for working so hard to rise above this way of life.
Good luck to you!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 793
Welcome to the board, Witty. There are lots of Mamas here, so if you can accept our hugs and support in cyberspace, you may find some wisdom and encouragement on your journey. If you were my son, I would tell you how much I admire your tenacity and commitment to your life and your future. I'd also be really proud of you for going to college (Great GPA!), supporting yourself, and working to be a doctor. I'd give you a big hug for the pain you've endured, and share with you some hopeful stories as a balm to your troubles. Best wishes this coming semester. I look forward to reading about your successes here, even if you still have some sorrows to share, too. Peace.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 528
Welcome! I have tears rolling down my cheeks just reading your story. I would stheater you are well on your way to building a good life for yourself.I don't have any better advice then what was given above. I'm sorry you have had to parent your parents. They are missing out on the blessing of a son like you. I would be proud to have a son who faced life with such tenacity and intelligence.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
