departure

Was heading to lunch with my boys to meet a friend today. As we were on our way, she called me to say she'd be a little late. Sooo, I offered to put an order in for her. She suggested that we get a bottle of dry rose or bubbly to share. Ugh. I told her I wasn't planning on drinking wine today.

When she got there, I had a big bottle of Pellegrino. I told her I am not drinking. I've been drinking too often, too much, fighting with DH about it, missing pieces of time, can't moderate, etc.

She knows. She does the same thing too. Only she's sipping a beer as I talk. Which was fine. I was uncomfortable. Not in telling her, but that this is new and I don't know how to act.

It was such a pleasant hot day. My mind was thinking how nice it would have been/would be to lounge in the sun with a glass of dry rose or sparkling wine as we walked home. A bottle is a glass right? I knew where that was going so I pushed it from my mind. Thoughts have been piping up here and there all day challenging my reserve.

Still holding on. Trying to stay strong. My AV is persistent today. My son is in fine pre-teen moody form and my DH is not being such a "D" - more like rude and insensitive. What fun we are having!

Sapling

Maybe you should put a little distance between yourself and that friend for awhile....Day five I was getting out of detox. I had to stay away from alcohol my first few months.

departure

There will be some distance. She's one of my closest friends yet we only seem to be able to get together once or twice a month.

Sapling

I'm just saying I had to be real careful who I was around early on. I wish you the best.

departure

Thank you, and I agree. She's definitely been my drinking buddy. I can't recall a time we got together without drinking together apart from today. Not sure if I'll be seeing her for a while now.

blueshades

departure, I like the idea of drinking the sparkling water as an occasional treat. I'm a big fan of Perrier and Pellegrino. I will have to try that soon.

Salacia

Departure,

I'm so sorry! I know exactly what you're going through. Something similar happened to me last week. My friend of almost 20 years was also the friend who first introduced me to alcohol back in high school. Because of our recent spat, I do have to distance myself from her until I feel steady and not weirded out by my newly sober awkwardness. I still love her dearly, but I am going through a growth spurt here and I trust that we'll be able to reconnect soon. I wish you all the best in this situation.

mirage

Hang in there, departure!! You're doing the right thing..you know that. You can do this! And after some time, it's not that hard..you get used to it and it's second nature. Just remember, you're not missing a thing and your'e better off for it. What a good example you're setting for your kids!! When you have talks with them about not drinking, you'll be walking the walk and not just talking the talk. They'll appreciate that a lot. It's what helps keep me sober, too. Good luck, and keep up the good work!!

SlimSlim

It's reasonable that your relationship with a drinking buddy will change if that was the glue that cemented your relationship.

As for the home-front, there will be good days and there will be some not so good days, it is part of life. Being sober, you can see and appreciate them more without adding any unnecessary drama.

Congrats on staying strong...you're doing it!

HitRockBottom70

Hey Departure, congrats on 5 days. I also had this conversation with my best friend my first week of sobriety. He has been nothing but supportive. He even asked if he should not drink when he's around me. My partner drinks when we go out to dinner and pretty much all my friends drink. I was the only one with a problem though. I did not find it necessary to isolate myself. I tested myself a little at a time and always made sure I felt solid in my resolve not to drink when others were. If I was not feeling solid I would not put myself in a position to fail.

Tomorrow will be 3 months sober for me. I will share the 3 ways that helped me to stay sober.
1. Post on SR daily and be honest about my feelings either in PM or forums.
2. Never believe the lie that says "You have done so well, you must be able to moderate and have just one drink now"
3. Always have a soda or water in your hand when others are drinking. (this one I see you already know).

I wish you strength.