Kza

Today was supposed to be day 1 but i drank last night in order to fall asleep early ready to start day one but of course drank until 3 am. The unbelievable stupidity that i could just have enough to sleep but not stay up all night drinking even though i have a twenty year drinking career and know better.

Jeni26

Have you got any alcohol left in the house? Best to get rid of any I reckon. Then you can start day 1 properly x

Kza

my problem is not sleep so much, it is boredom and giving in. I will get rid of the acohol but it is everywhere and so easy to get. I know i have to learn to live sober but how.

mecanix

I think my last drink was a wake up at 3am, finnish the bottle to seek oblivion slug .
The next "day" when i woke up my life changed, i remember my last hangover very well it acts as a very good reminder to stay sober.

Great news you've decided to change today, treat yourself with care .

Bestwishes, M

Uninvited

I poured out something like 72 bottles of beer on day 1 otherwise I never would have made it through the night.

Jeni26

You need to really really WANT to be sober more than anything. There is no recovery program or support group that can help unless you make a firm commitment.
How I started was to read others stories on here, what helped others and what to expect in recovery. Then I went to AA meetings and asked advice. I talked to other alcoholics. I was willing to try anything. My world was falling apart.
It is tough, but after 11 weeks, I promise you the world seems a very different place to me now.
Keep posting, and good luck to you xx

Zee

Kza, hi Do you have any kind of plan for your continued sobriety? Unfortunately I think that if you are prone to bordom, it is just setting yourself up to drink.

My last drink was in the morning while waiting for the ambulance to take me to hospital with liver disease. At the time I was angry that they arrived before I could finish it. Denial is a very large part of alcoholism. My motivation is to stay alive. Many use a programme, there are loads of different ones. Good luck to you

Kza

i went to two AA meetings a few years ago but did not get on or I suppose the truth is that I chickened out after two visits.

Jeni26

I found the first few very overwhelming too, but I kept at it. There are other recovery methods to choose from too. I did lots of reading on here.
Tell us a bit about yourself, reach out to us xx

Zee

I don't do AA, I'm reading Allen Carr, which is enlightening. I have nearly a year, and I now view alcohol in the same regard I do toilet cleaner. Both equally poisonous. Saying that, I had a craving a few weeks ago... so I posted here and was quickly dissuaded (madness isn't it?) You will get loads of support here.

Kza

I am 42, seperated for 2 years and nearly divorced. I have a 7 year old son who I talk and write letters to but cannot see as my STBX wife wont let me. Truth be told it is my own fault. I have been drinking on and off but mostly on since I was 17 and have had depression on and off but again to be honest it is the alcohol. I drink as soon as I can like late afternoon and drink until i sleep. I get by but have lost jobs etc. because of it. i have had run ins with the police etc. but again I have got by. My wife told me when she left me that I didn't like people but maybe it is drink that I just like. I think the real problem is just drink and nothing else.

Kza

Sorry to go but my problem is terrible boredom. Almost nothing interests me but i wonder if it is a trick like, i make myself bored so I have to drink.

sugarbear1

Define "boredom"

Kza

I mean when there is nothing you want to do and cannot think of any way of killing time except drinking. lets face it drinking is a great time killer

Jeni26

I think drinking fills time yes, but it certainly isn't solving your boredom problem, or making you happy is it?x

Kza

i keep telling myself that it isn't making me happy quite the reverse but it does kill time. You cannot argue with that.

Jeni26

It does fill time. I wouldn't argue about that, but anything fills time! I can fill time doing a million other things that don't hurt me or cause me such unhappiness?!x

Zee

Self motivation is hard. Maybe re-organise your living room, do a bit of decorating, new surroundings for a new sober life, I could think of many things for you to try but I understand where you are coming from. Sometimes I seriously can't be bothered, but when I push myself to do things, I find it rewarding and it lifts my spirits.

Kza

i know but things seem pointless to me. When i read the 'how do you fill time now you are not drinking threads here, none of the options have any interest for me. I keep thinking of what I used to do for fun before I drank but it was so long ago

Zee

Ok, I'm going to make a couple of suggestions, but first, what country do you live so I have a better idea.... we can all make suggestions and you can say, yes, no, maybe. How's that?