Why SR and not NA?
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Why SR and not NA?
Why is it that I can not bring myself to go to NA/AA meetings but feel so comfortable reading and posting on SR? My journey with my RAS is almost 2 years and yet I can not bring myself to go to a meeting.
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Anvil - I went to what I think was an open NA meeting with my son about 2 yrs ago and I was overwhelmed with emotions. When my son spoke someone offered to buy him the NA book and that right there reduced me to tears. I barely spoke..could hardly get the words out that he was my son and I was there to support him. With sr I feel like my emotions are moe controlled and I don't fall to pieces. I just don't know if I have it in me to handle the emotions of a meeting. Help?
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all it takes is some courage. it may just be the best thing ya do. its only the 1st meeting thats the hardest.
prayers yer way for some courage.
one thing i am wondering: do you have a problem goin out shopping?
prayers yer way for some courage.
one thing i am wondering: do you have a problem goin out shopping?
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Join Date: Jun 2011
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I go mostly to Nar-Anon although I have been to Al-Anon as well. In all the meetings I have been to, there is no requirement to speak. In my home group, we each introduce ourselves by first name at the start. If people feel like sharing, they do. If not, it is perfectly acceptable just to listen. We always allow time before the meeting is over to ask if anyone who has not shared would like to. After the official close, some people stick around for one-on-one conversations, since many are more comfortable the first few times not sharing in a group. I've been to some meetings where they go around the circle in order, but it is perfectly ok to say, "I pass," or "I just want to listen this time." My first meeting was scary because I had no idea what to expect but each time it got a bit easier. I love face to face meetings because they get me out of my tendency to isolate, and I learn so much from others in the group.
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Katiekate- I am falling apart. After being so strong for Lord knows how long, all of a sudden I'm becoming unhinged. And what's crazy is that after so long, I believe or I think I do, he's been clean 4 months. But I'm missing him bring at home and feel like he is slipping away from me because there's not as much contact coming from him as I would like. I know I'm a codependent
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Originally Posted by allthatsgood 
Thanks Matabele! But again my question, if I feel comfortable with sr what's wrong with that? At least I'm interacting an learning , no?
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Originally Posted by allthatsgood
Anvil - I have a fear when it comes to public speaking. I have to do it at work e very do often and I start hyperventilating.
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allthatsgood-
It's amazing that I jump on here and the first thread I decide to read is yours cause I was just about to post about what a great meeting I had tonight.
I go to Alanon once a week and I've only gone about 10 times but it really has been such a lifesaver for me. Tonight I was almost not able to go but luckily it worked out to where I could and thank god. First off, I'm a very very shy person, always have been. But the madness that addiction has thrown into my life, I got worse cause I isolated myself so much. So, of course a meeting, the face to face atmosphere made me SO NERVOUS but I was surprised at how much I was put at ease once people started to share. I knew I was exactly where I needed to be.
Anyway, getting back to what happened tonight. I actually shared when it was my turn, which made the 3rd time I've spoken and after the meeting was done, a very kind woman pulled me aside to talk with me about what I had shared and we exchanged numbers. What she had to say to me truly touched my heart and it just makes me so thankful for Alanon, cause between the meeting and her kind words, it made my situation not seem so impossible.
I understand the anxiety you're having. I think it's something that's happens to all of us cause we have become so isolated. When you're so isolated, you really lose yourself. I'm at the very very beginning of finding myself again. But once you get that courage to reach out and do the face to face meetings, it's so worth it. And as others have stated, you don't have to share. If you're only comfortable with listening, it's completely acceptable and understandable by all the people in that room. The love and comfort and understanding that are at those meetings is incredible. You have so much to gain and nothing to lose by giving it a shot
It's amazing that I jump on here and the first thread I decide to read is yours cause I was just about to post about what a great meeting I had tonight.
I go to Alanon once a week and I've only gone about 10 times but it really has been such a lifesaver for me. Tonight I was almost not able to go but luckily it worked out to where I could and thank god. First off, I'm a very very shy person, always have been. But the madness that addiction has thrown into my life, I got worse cause I isolated myself so much. So, of course a meeting, the face to face atmosphere made me SO NERVOUS but I was surprised at how much I was put at ease once people started to share. I knew I was exactly where I needed to be.
Anyway, getting back to what happened tonight. I actually shared when it was my turn, which made the 3rd time I've spoken and after the meeting was done, a very kind woman pulled me aside to talk with me about what I had shared and we exchanged numbers. What she had to say to me truly touched my heart and it just makes me so thankful for Alanon, cause between the meeting and her kind words, it made my situation not seem so impossible.
I understand the anxiety you're having. I think it's something that's happens to all of us cause we have become so isolated. When you're so isolated, you really lose yourself. I'm at the very very beginning of finding myself again. But once you get that courage to reach out and do the face to face meetings, it's so worth it. And as others have stated, you don't have to share. If you're only comfortable with listening, it's completely acceptable and understandable by all the people in that room. The love and comfort and understanding that are at those meetings is incredible. You have so much to gain and nothing to lose by giving it a shot
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Join Date: Jun 2012
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I don't know why I have a problem talking in public. When I went to the family meeting at my son's rehab I could harly get the words out. Couldn't concentrate an focus on what I wanted to say. But if I'm talking one on one or sharing on st I can do it. And I'm not ashamed or defensive about what people might tell me. It's just that I freeze when the spotlight is on me. If they came around to me at a meeting and I didn't talk I think I would feel even more uncomfortable. Maybe I need to go with someone who's gone before
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Online support groups are great, don't get me wrong, but if you feel like you are falling apart then another source of help may be needed. If not meetings, maybe try a counselor if you aren't already doing that. If you know someone who has gone to a meeing before, and knows the ropes, coming with them is a great idea. Or maybe you could get to the meeting place early and talk to another early arrival first just to break the ice. Meetings aren't for everyone but I would encourage you to try a few and see how you feel. I think it's not uncommon to fall apart when the addict is clean. When the immediate crisis is over and you're not trying to hold it together and be strong, then all the tension you've been under hits you. I know this is hard!
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