Jur123

Today I can't stop thinking that maybe I haven't done enaugh to help my sister, maybe there is something else I could do, maybe I should talk to her in a differrent way so that she would understand what she is doing to herself. I get so involved in my thoughts that nothing else seem to exist. It's so sad

Katiekate

Hey there, I hear you. I called it circular thinking.

The only thing I could do to get myself out of those cycles was to read the truth about addiction.

Any conversation you have with your sister , you are actually having with her addiction.

Please read the stickies at the top of the page. I can so relate to those thoughts, maybe if I said this, or that , or did better at this or that. That thinking for me always ended up being a way to beat myself up and not face that fact that his sickness became mine, and that my healing had to be most important.

I'm so sorry you are in so much pain. Please keep posting.

oooopps

The good news is that you realize it.

As humans we will inevitably engage in all different types of negative thinking. Dont fuel into it. Recognize it and correct your thoughts into a positive cycle.

outtolunch

I noticed on another thread you expressed the desire for a child but have put this on the back burner because your "sister is unhappy and you are the only one who can save her, blah, blah, blah".

She is living life as she sees fit to do. Nothing you say or do is going to get or keep her sober. You are not that powerful. None of us are.

She can choose to save herself, or not. So can you. Have you considered getting some professional help to get a handle on codependence? Could it hurt?

Jur123

Thank you Outtolunch. I bought a book Codependancy No More and will go to Codependence Anonymous. I hope they will help. However, my sister has underlying anxiety issues so even if she stops drinking there are still things to deal with. She is on huge doses of benzos and I'm not even sure if she got them from legitimate sources. Codependancy is such a hard thing to get over. My sis says she does not want my help, but I just can't stop obsessing about her. I don't even like talking to her as she reminds me of my mother who abused benzos alot to the point where she would forget what she was sayng 5 min ago.