curiousgeorge73

I am a big fan of beer. Im not a sit around and drink a 6 pack of coors llight kinda guy, im into obscure and craft beers. I drink them like some drink fine wines, never more than 2 and i hate getting drunk.

my gf hates drinking and its never been an issue or desire for her.

Right now I have about 10 beers in the house, that under normal circumstances would last me about a month.

im thinking i should prolly ditch this hobby for my gf's recovery, if anything, to show her how serious I am.

Its really not a big deal...its somthing I enjoy, but would have no qualms of giving it up. what do you think?

FenwayFaithful

I don't think someone who able to enjoy beer responsibly and does it as a hobby should have to give up beer because their GF is unable to do that. Her alcoholism isn't your fault or your issue. I wouldn't expect my friends or roommates or family to give up drinking because I have. I gave up drinking not because I'm against it, but because I'm an alcoholic. Your girlfriend did the same.

This is just my personal opinion. But if it's something you enjoy, trying new beers, having a couple here and there etc... I see absolutely nothing wrong with that and no reason you can't support her recovery drinking in this manner.

But if if really upsets her that much and you'd rather give it up then upset her then why not? I just don't think you should feel an obligation to.

curiousgeorge73

Thanks for your response....just to let ya know, she is a drug addict. She never liked drinking and its never been an issue for her.

I was just thinking i should quit to support her

interrupted

I enjoy wine and wine tasting and visiting vineyards, similar to your craft brewery hobby. I have wine storage with some special bottles for occasions, and I sometimes have a glass with dinner. There was a time about a year ago when it seemed that my sister was on the right track, she was finally able to leave the state, and she wanted to visit me. I thought about this same thing at that time.

What I decided is that for her visit I of course wouldn't suggest we go to a vineyard or wine tasting, but that if I wanted a glass of wine while we were out at dinner I was going to order one just like I normally would. I know it's a different situation because she wasn't going to live with me, but at some point you have to continue with your desired life, we can't hold everything in suspension indefinitely hanging in the balance of somebody else's decisions.

So maybe at first just sort of play it by ear, but if this is something you enjoy, I don't see any reason to eliminate it entirely from your life.

My sister did not stay clean and the visit never happened, so I can't say how it would have worked in practice.

incitingsilence

My feelings anyone living with someone in early recover should respect the fact they are in early recovery and not use alcohol or drugs in front of them for any reason in the home…

Going out a bit different and I would hope that in a social situation she would have her own safety nets as to where she can and can’t be because she is in early recovery. All which would be subject to change as she built a stronger foundation.

One thing for certain when someone is desperate to use they will use anything available, so she may not like to drink, because she likes the opiate high better, but that doesn’t mean she won’t drink if it is available and her head is a mess…

Faithlove

I don't think you should have to give it up completely. Maybe, just don't keep it in the house.
My AH hates drinking and hates for me to drink (I have no issues w/ alcohol). He likes opiates and marijuana. However, there were many, many times that he'd sneak countless bottles of nasty liquor into our home and drink until he passed out. So, even though he claimed to hate drinking......he still did.