my story
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 18
my story
I met the love of my life 5 years ago.
up to that point, I had recently discovered pills; opiates. I toyed around, I partied, I had fun. I never did it w/ regularity and I don't consider myself to have an addictive personality.
Months into our relationship, the topic of partying came up, and she admitted to having a problem in the past, but was over it. She was sure she could chip here and there w/out conseqence.
So we would party 1 day a week, and it was amazing. Beautiful walks, plans and conversations, making love for hours, all the fn that comes w/ a deal w/ the devil.
Within a year, it became a regular thing, maybe 3 or 4 nights a week.
that lasted about a year before we said this has to stop. I cold turkey'd and was physically fine, but it took months to get the cobwebs outta my head and feel normal. She went to a doctor for Suboxin.
we were clean for about 2 years...if you consider her being on suboxin as being clean.
eventually she wanted to stop the suboxin, it killed her sex drive, made her sleep a lot ect. so she tried at home. It didn't work and as soon as she got sick, she'd score pills, then restart w/ the suboxin.
since she had already crossed the line, she decided that opiates did work on her, so she turned to blow.
Now I can't stand blow, and she knew this, so that started the "hey, why don't I get some blow and I'll pick you up some pills".
and that became the pattern for the next couple months. She knew I hated her on blow, so she would bring me pills so I would allow it.
this brings up to around july 20th. She said she wanted to go to detox to get off suboxin, and quit doing drugs once and for all.She said she wanted to binge out until 8/1, when she would admit herself.
So that was the plan.
On july 27th, she called me crying saying that she had t go to a 30 day treatment, THE NEXT DAY.
We spent the night together, making love, holding each other, crying, ect. She said she would come back to me, she wasn' moving out and I had nothing to worry about, ect.
So I took her on july 28th.
I used methadone a couple for a couple days so I wouldn't be sick, and I haven't had any drugs in my system since.
My head is once again foggy, but I don't really have cravings and Im not sick.
So this is sort of a prequel for my other post.
Its like 19 more days until she comes home and im scared ********. scared she's gonna leave me.
I feel so guilty for allowing her to manipulate a situation where we both did our drugs of choice and I wish I stopped her. "one more time was just too powerful.
I have no way of getting drugs even if i wanted them which I don't.
It think it will really surprise and plase her when she gets out and sees I have 30 day key chain, sees ive been going to meetings (which i always hated).
thats my story.
up to that point, I had recently discovered pills; opiates. I toyed around, I partied, I had fun. I never did it w/ regularity and I don't consider myself to have an addictive personality.
Months into our relationship, the topic of partying came up, and she admitted to having a problem in the past, but was over it. She was sure she could chip here and there w/out conseqence.
So we would party 1 day a week, and it was amazing. Beautiful walks, plans and conversations, making love for hours, all the fn that comes w/ a deal w/ the devil.
Within a year, it became a regular thing, maybe 3 or 4 nights a week.
that lasted about a year before we said this has to stop. I cold turkey'd and was physically fine, but it took months to get the cobwebs outta my head and feel normal. She went to a doctor for Suboxin.
we were clean for about 2 years...if you consider her being on suboxin as being clean.
eventually she wanted to stop the suboxin, it killed her sex drive, made her sleep a lot ect. so she tried at home. It didn't work and as soon as she got sick, she'd score pills, then restart w/ the suboxin.
since she had already crossed the line, she decided that opiates did work on her, so she turned to blow.
Now I can't stand blow, and she knew this, so that started the "hey, why don't I get some blow and I'll pick you up some pills".
and that became the pattern for the next couple months. She knew I hated her on blow, so she would bring me pills so I would allow it.
this brings up to around july 20th. She said she wanted to go to detox to get off suboxin, and quit doing drugs once and for all.She said she wanted to binge out until 8/1, when she would admit herself.
So that was the plan.
On july 27th, she called me crying saying that she had t go to a 30 day treatment, THE NEXT DAY.
We spent the night together, making love, holding each other, crying, ect. She said she would come back to me, she wasn' moving out and I had nothing to worry about, ect.
So I took her on july 28th.
I used methadone a couple for a couple days so I wouldn't be sick, and I haven't had any drugs in my system since.
My head is once again foggy, but I don't really have cravings and Im not sick.
So this is sort of a prequel for my other post.
Its like 19 more days until she comes home and im scared ********. scared she's gonna leave me.
I feel so guilty for allowing her to manipulate a situation where we both did our drugs of choice and I wish I stopped her. "one more time was just too powerful.
I have no way of getting drugs even if i wanted them which I don't.
It think it will really surprise and plase her when she gets out and sees I have 30 day key chain, sees ive been going to meetings (which i always hated).
thats my story.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Each one of us can only work on our own recovery and pray for our loved ones to find theirs. If love could save them, not one of us would be here.
Your own sobriety and life is at stake here, you may need to keep a safe distance between you until you both are more secure in your recoveries. Recovery isn`t just putting down the drugs, it`s finding a healthier way to live without them.
I`m glad you joined us and hope things work out for you.
Hugs
Your own sobriety and life is at stake here, you may need to keep a safe distance between you until you both are more secure in your recoveries. Recovery isn`t just putting down the drugs, it`s finding a healthier way to live without them.
I`m glad you joined us and hope things work out for you.
Hugs
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