allthatsgood

I Love being in touch with my 3 kids, ages 28, 24 and 23. I usually text or call them several times a week to see how they are doing, what they have been up to lately. How's work, how was your weekend, what's new? My 2 oldest do the same...call me or text me. But, I've gotten the sense with my younger RAS that the relationship is very one sided in that I'm the one who's doing most of the reaching out. He is currently living in a SLE, not at home. I asked him if it bothered him him that I text him and he responded not really but sometimes. I didn't ask him to elaborate, just said okay. My question to all of you, since I have no experience in dealing with a RA is should I distance myself from him and give him space? Wait until he reaches out to me before I contact him? His recovery is still in the early stages...4 months tomorrow. Always appreciates the advice and guidance. Thank you!

Kindeyes

I don't think it's a coincidence that the word smother has the word mother in it. I always try to keep that in mind when dealing with my adult children. If your RAS was somewhat noncommittal in his response, perhaps you could dial it back a little and give him the opportunity to initiate contact with you. Try it and see what happens.

gentle hugs
ke

Ilovemysonjj

Hi Allthatsgood, I would agree with KE. When my son went into inpatient rehab, he very infrequently would call me. After he got out, he had every intention of wanting to separate himself from me (due to my huge codepenency issues). I had the hardest time realizing this wasn't a personal thing, he just wanted to focus on his life and his choices.
Trust that your son loves you, he just needs to adapt to life without drugs.