BooBo0

I'm very new here....and figured id make my intro.

I'm BooBoo, and I'm completely head over heels in love. I have the most perfect man. A beautiful person with an amazing heart.......that is well....when he's clean.


My boyfriend is currently in prison.

I just got done doing four years with him until he came home in August. He was picked back up 6 months later due to a miscalculation of his time. He technically shouldn't be there now, but that's a whole nother story.

In the brief time He was home...we got pregnant.

Those six months were tougher than the four years in prison.

He relapsed.....more than once.

Heroin can make a person beyond ugly.

Drug addiction coupled with severe ptsd and bipolar was enough to send him over the edge more than a couple times. In our worst moments suicide crossed his mind and his wrists.

He attempted to get help multiple times and was.turned away from lack of insurance.

Now we have two more years left on this bid, and i can't help but to feel such fear. I wanna believe in his sobriety but i don't want to relive the past.

I won't give up. I can't give up.

Ann

Welcome Boo, take a read around and make yourself at home here.

Boo, where do you see your life and the life of your child going...in two years? In 5 years?

You are worth so much more than a life filled with addiction, abuse, prison.

You have time to think about what you would like for your future...what your dreams are, and yes, Boo, you really can have dreams that come true if you are willing to take a good path.

Others will be along to share their stories and experiences with you, but I wanted to send a hug and say welcome.

Hugs

BooBo0

Thanks Ann for the welcome.

I see myself happy... well the way i truly see it is i have to maintain realistic expectations. I need to learn how to stop enabling. And constantly remind myself...i can't change him.

I see myself going back to.college...eventually...

Im a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. I believe he was brought to my life for a reason...

Someone wise once told me im the building blocks for all i desire....

So if i desire happiness.... its up to ME to make it happen.

BooBo0

Anvil. I had my baby may 14 and she is absolutely the single most important thing to me. She is my whole world

As for the other comment. I said that to emphasize how drastic the change in him is when using as opposed to not. Its quite obvious he is not perfect when he's higher than a kite breaking every promise he swore he wouldn't. Maybe i worded it wrong. Sorry for the miscommnication.

crazybabie

Welcome to SR I am glad you found us yet sorry for the reasons.


Now we have two more years left on this bid, and i can't help but to feel such fear. I wanna believe in his sobriety

His sobriety is HIS to obtain or not obtain you can have hope but don't let it consume you.

but i don't want to relive the past.

I find that attending meetings such as Al-anon, Nar-anon or Families Anonymous help me too grow , learn how to detach with love, learn how not too enable.

While he is serving his time maybe it is a good time for you to start working on a healthier you for your daughter and yourself.

My oldest AS is currently in prison and I can honestly say that I now have tools that will help me when he gets out due too my meetings they have also helped me find ways to cope with my AH and my other AS. I have learned so much about myself that I never knew.

Congrats, on your new baby girl as a mom I am sure you want a good life for her not filled with addiction and prison.