sukosuko1

I've just joined aa 5 months ago. My mother has been in the program for 30 years, so i've tried to bring up the subject about ten times...i've 'stopped drinking...had a drinking problem..etc' and she never freaking asks me anything about it and keeps changing the subjects. I was really hoping to have a deeper relation, and hear about her experiences. i just hear her resentments against everyone all day, i'm tired. she's almost 70 and stopped going to meetings so maybe i should just listen and keep her happy.

Anyone have experience on how to open up to parents that just don't want to talk about it?

IndaMiricale

Well for me my father never found the room and well quilified.

And my mother did, and struggled for years. Seveal rehabs. I didnt come into them until I was 39. But my mom does like to talk about my program and what I am doing.

I am sorry your doesnt , and if all she talks about is negitive and all those resentments. She might of been a part of the followship for all this time. I dont know if she worked the steps but she sure isnt using them in her daily living. So being a member is working the steps and meetings are the fellowship.

But the only control you have is over you. So I wouldnt stay around when it gets frustrating , but I would hang around because bless her soul, she is 70. And I know I couldnt have the burden of not being there for all the rest of it.

I am sure this wasnt much help, but good advice will be here soon, and I do recomend talking to your sponsor and at your home group. You have those right

Good love, Inda

hypochondriac

Yeah, but she eventually admitted that she avoided the subject because she felt like it was her fault! Her coping strategy was to just pretend it wasn't happening. Maybe your mum feels something similar.

Welcome to SR Suko and well done on 5 months! x

Anna

I think you should respect your mother's wishes and not talk about it with her.

There is lots of support here for you.

sukosuko1

thanks..agree with what's been said...maybe this is all a lot of pressure for my mother. i'll look to HP for guidance...not sure what that is..but get some power to do things better than my own ideas.