Summerpeach

I'm now "addict" free and walked away from all the addicts in my life. yay me!
I've not contact my ex in 2 months or seen him in close to 4 months and I don't even think about him or even care. So over it!

But there was one thing I noticed, when you stand up to or confront or react to an addict, they ALWAYS say "you're crazy" or say "you have some sort of personality disorder"
I know it's mirroring, but whenever I have an issue with any other friend or person in my life who isn't an addict, there is never this exchange.

I also know it's not worth trying to make sense out of their scrambled egg brains, but it's almost unbelievable who they mirror themselves and call you out on everything they do or how they actually behave. You just NEED to react because it's so diabolical and you need to make it right!

No one in my life but an addict has ever called me crazy of accused me of being mentally unstable.

This thread comes on the heels of another exchange I had with a woman I used to work with at the cat shelter. She was livid when I left and did some horrible things to me. Last night, she has one of her new workers post a nasty comment on my work FB page. I've not interacted with them in 4 months and they've been still creeping my wall. Well last night, I didn't take it and I fought back but this insane person replied back with such craziness, I actually reacted.

These addicts will never cease to baffle me

your thoughts...

Learn2Live

My thoughts are you should block those people from your facebook. Immediately.

I agree and have witnessed the addict say nasty things about other people, judgmental, making other people go insane with their actions and behaviors and words, and then pointing their finger at the person and telling everyone who will listen how insane that person is, and that they have a mental illness. ALWAYS ignoring themselves and what they did to actually cause the person to go insane or act crazy.

fourmaggie

No one in my life but an addict has ever called me crazy of accused me of being mentally unstable.


i got that many times from my A..."go back to your group..they will tell you different on how to do this in our life"...the A in my life just did not want me to change and change started when i stopped people pleasing, enabling him and setting my boundaries and sticking with them...and that is all why he left me...(thank god, i got my serenity back)

sometimes we have to look how we have changed, and how othere HAVE NOT...alot of people (i realized) are unhealthy for me and toxic...now, i can use my boundaries...

Learn2Live

I have to learn how to keep them out of my life in the first place. I guess I need to be more vigilant. And more assertive. As Iyanla VanZant says:

Thumper

Me too!! And make sure I don't have a wishbone where my backbone ought to be, lol.

BlueSkies1

I love that...can I borrow it permanently?

ZiggyB

I think it's a psychological defense mechanism known as "projection"

Psychological projection - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Summerpeach

Hi :-)
I cannot block them, it's a public open work FB page. They are blocked from my personal page but anyone can post on a public page. Sucks, but that's how FB is.

Yes, they do try to make others go insane. The word "insane" is a great word to apply to dealing with them.
It's like you just want to shake them and scream "are you that dumb"
It's beyond normal comprehension.

Summerpeach

It's from the author of Eat Pray Love.....she's walked a great path and come out a spiritual soul

Summerpeach

totally! It's almost surreal! They label you with the traits they have

Talk about CRAZY!

Misguided

If you truly have them blocked, they cannot see your posts and you cannot see their's. It's like they don't even exist (when they are on your blocked list). You may not have them on your friends list, but if can see what they are posting, then you don't have them entirely blocked. Block lists are in the privacy settings, I believe.

BlueSkies1

I think most people, addicts or not, tend to focus on the failings of others in difficult relationships...best thing I learned was to "sweep my own side of the street".

Summerpeach

They are blocked on my private page in every facet, but can see my work page. Anyone can see it. blocked or not. They cannot see a group, my it's not a group I run, it's a Open Forum page.

wicked

Summerpeach,

I am curious, are the addicts here (such as myself) considered to be projecting my crazy onto you?
I am admittedly a major depressive with an alcohol addiction, sober now and treated for my MDD.
I keep a watch on myself. Maybe I should not have responded, because I am not one of the people who projects my illness onto you.
But, there are other 2 time winners here, I am not the only one.
I wonder, am I not considered an addict in your life because I only live on the other side of this screen?
Just thinking. Not looking for any problems or arguments. I am sure you meant the addicts in your real life. and I can be too sensitive by far.

Beth

laurie6781

As your FINAL comment on that 'public FB page':

"What other people think of me is none of my business. Their problem not mine."

And don't go back to it, don't read it, and don't post again.

J M H O

Love and hugs,

Summerpeach

I can't make final comments. It's my functional business page and brings in my bread and butter.
I have to keep it as professional as possible.

Beth.....no offense, not even going there

Thumper

Thank you! I knew I read it somewhere but had no idea where. I'm sure the direct quote was more powerful but I can't remember it. I didn't really get it when I read it but do now.

ZiggyB

Yeah, my axbf did this to me all of the time, denied that he had a problem and accused me of causing all of the problems in the relationship. Of course he was never willing to seek out help from anywhere, like a therapist or a spiritual program, etc. Ultimately it's very frustrating to engage with a person that isn't willing to do any work on themselves and would rather blame it all on you... I was even blamed for not being supportive of his drinking buddies. You bet I wasn't supportive, I thought they were losers. :-P

Learn2Live

Thanks for this. I'd like to add that what I've found is not only do they SAY you are to blame, they actually BELIEVE it. It is how they THINK!

LuvMySis

Absolutely, L2L, that's how they THINK! My sister, for example, drank and harmed herself because I was having financial problems, she was worried about ME, MY daughter was disrespectful to her, I wasn't helping her enough with our parents, I almost caused her to lose her job when I called the police after her suicide attempt, and on and on. It was never about her.