The $10,000 Question
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 10
The $10,000 Question
I checked myself into inpatient rehab on July 18 for a five-day stay. I am currently attending three-hour outpatient meetings three days a week. Today is my 18th day sober.
About three years ago, I was forced out of my job of 10 years as a graphic designer in the printing industry. Management was treating me so shabbily and abusively that I quit my position. (The company avoided firing me so as to avoid me receiving unemployment benefits.) Stress toward the end of this job was a factor in my deciding to start drinking.
During the past three years, I found another job that paid less than what I was making before, but which I still like and feel a certain sense of security. It is a much larger company than the one I worked for before. The position isn't particularly exciting, but I enjoy it and am told that I do my job well.
In the three years since I was forced out, the manager of the company kept in touch with me and gradually realized that he had made a mistake in letting me go. He has been a "friend" and given me some side work (which I do at home) for extra money. He knows about my alcoholism and has been supportive through it. In April, he helped me move into my apartment at no charge. Throughout this, the old company has downsized tremendously, but is still in business after 80 years.
The manager of my old company has offered my job back, initially making $2 per hour more than what I am making now. After some thought, I turned him down, saying that I remembered the stress from before and my sobriety was the priority in my life.
He responded by saying that three years had passed, certain members of management were no longer there and the ones who were would like to have me back, that it would help me to have "friends" around (some of my former co-workers), that there would be less stress, and that he would support me if I had a relapse. And his abusive behavior has genuinely seemed to improve.
Not one to take no for an answer -- and desperately wanting me for the job, since I was there for 10 years and know the department inside and out, plus the guilt for his past behavior -- he steadily upped his offer to $5 per hour more than what I am currently earning, or about $800 per month (nearly $10,000 per year).
It is unlikely that my current employer will match (or even come close to matching) this man's offer. I can survive on my current salary, but it seems that at some point it would be foolish to turn down significantly more money. (If I accept the offer, I would be earning about the same as I was when I was forced out.) I know that the ultimate decision will be mine to make, but I would appreciate others' viewpoints. Thank you.
About three years ago, I was forced out of my job of 10 years as a graphic designer in the printing industry. Management was treating me so shabbily and abusively that I quit my position. (The company avoided firing me so as to avoid me receiving unemployment benefits.) Stress toward the end of this job was a factor in my deciding to start drinking.
During the past three years, I found another job that paid less than what I was making before, but which I still like and feel a certain sense of security. It is a much larger company than the one I worked for before. The position isn't particularly exciting, but I enjoy it and am told that I do my job well.
In the three years since I was forced out, the manager of the company kept in touch with me and gradually realized that he had made a mistake in letting me go. He has been a "friend" and given me some side work (which I do at home) for extra money. He knows about my alcoholism and has been supportive through it. In April, he helped me move into my apartment at no charge. Throughout this, the old company has downsized tremendously, but is still in business after 80 years.
The manager of my old company has offered my job back, initially making $2 per hour more than what I am making now. After some thought, I turned him down, saying that I remembered the stress from before and my sobriety was the priority in my life.
He responded by saying that three years had passed, certain members of management were no longer there and the ones who were would like to have me back, that it would help me to have "friends" around (some of my former co-workers), that there would be less stress, and that he would support me if I had a relapse. And his abusive behavior has genuinely seemed to improve.
Not one to take no for an answer -- and desperately wanting me for the job, since I was there for 10 years and know the department inside and out, plus the guilt for his past behavior -- he steadily upped his offer to $5 per hour more than what I am currently earning, or about $800 per month (nearly $10,000 per year).
It is unlikely that my current employer will match (or even come close to matching) this man's offer. I can survive on my current salary, but it seems that at some point it would be foolish to turn down significantly more money. (If I accept the offer, I would be earning about the same as I was when I was forced out.) I know that the ultimate decision will be mine to make, but I would appreciate others' viewpoints. Thank you.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,866
Money isn't everything. If you can make it on your current salary, then I would prefer that to going back to the stresses of the other job. Your sobriety is the most important thing. Your previous boss doesn't have any choice about taking no for an answer. If your answer is NO, then he must accept it. If he continues to pester you about it, I'd think about stopping communication with him.
Powerless over Alcohol
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
Posts: 4,018
Like suki said its all about whats good for the most improtant thing you SOBRIETY.
As you said its your choice, more money is always nice but at what cost.
Way those heavly, if you can be happy with the old place that so easily got rid of you, (which I wouldnt go back just for that reason alone. ) Then go for it. But remember he did it once he might do it again.
I know my post doesnt help, but wishing all the best. And congrats on your time and keep growing , going , and learning.
As you said its your choice, more money is always nice but at what cost.
Way those heavly, if you can be happy with the old place that so easily got rid of you, (which I wouldnt go back just for that reason alone. ) Then go for it. But remember he did it once he might do it again.
I know my post doesnt help, but wishing all the best. And congrats on your time and keep growing , going , and learning.
lillyknitting
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Loughton, Essex, England
Posts: 638
I would accept it, after all we need a living wage and he does genuinely seem to have changed his ways and is supportive of you. Also it would be nice to work again with old friends and anyway if it doesn't work out you can always get another job. Good luck
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 141
Money will only provide temporary happiness. Since you have determined you can survive on your current salary, what you have to decide is which job will give you the most fulfillment and least amount of stress. What is it that you want out of your career? Which job is most likely to give you that, not just now but in the future? These are the questions you have to ask yourself. I have taken pay cuts to make myself happier so don't let money be your motivating factor if it doesn't have to be.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 328
I can see why you're hesitating, I'd probably cut off my pinky for an extra 10000/year, but there's a few red flags in your post:
1. You say he feels guilty about the way he acted, does that mean he was a cause of the toxic environment previously? If he was, then obviously not all sources of stress have been removed... As a matter of fact, do you have any reason aside from his word to believe the atmosphere has improved?
At the very least, a manager who "won't take no for an answer" doesn't strike me as a respectful employer.
2. It's a small company, and it has gone through some down-sizing... I smell instability. Not in the sense that they'll go out of business, but what if they do some down-sizing again? Recently re-hired, and with an alcohol problem in your past, you'd be pretty close to the chopping block if the axe gets swinging.
I'm not saying you should turn down the offer, I'm just saying these are things you should consider. Maybe you could do some more freelancing for them and try to get a feel if the atmosphere really has improved before committing to anything...
1. You say he feels guilty about the way he acted, does that mean he was a cause of the toxic environment previously? If he was, then obviously not all sources of stress have been removed... As a matter of fact, do you have any reason aside from his word to believe the atmosphere has improved?
At the very least, a manager who "won't take no for an answer" doesn't strike me as a respectful employer.
2. It's a small company, and it has gone through some down-sizing... I smell instability. Not in the sense that they'll go out of business, but what if they do some down-sizing again? Recently re-hired, and with an alcohol problem in your past, you'd be pretty close to the chopping block if the axe gets swinging.
I'm not saying you should turn down the offer, I'm just saying these are things you should consider. Maybe you could do some more freelancing for them and try to get a feel if the atmosphere really has improved before committing to anything...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
I would have thought that feeling secure would be a major plus right now.
Have you tried writing a pros and cons list?
Even if your present company can't match this new offer it might be worth explaining the situation to them to see if they could at least give you a small pay rise..? Maybe a compromise is in order?
Congrats on 18 days! x
Have you tried writing a pros and cons list?
Even if your present company can't match this new offer it might be worth explaining the situation to them to see if they could at least give you a small pay rise..? Maybe a compromise is in order?
Congrats on 18 days!
x
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Ireland
Posts: 1,641
I would stay put.
It is nice to hear from the old company, leave it at that.
Money isn't everything.
Mind that precious 18 days.
In fact, this back and forth alone may be stressful and you can tell your old manager to lay off for a while. Sounds like they need you more than you need them.
It is nice to hear from the old company, leave it at that.
Money isn't everything.
Mind that precious 18 days.
In fact, this back and forth alone may be stressful and you can tell your old manager to lay off for a while. Sounds like they need you more than you need them.
My brain is trying to kill me
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Palo Alto, ca
Posts: 401
I had a similar experience in leaving a company after 25 years, I did it for ME and took a significant downsizing for ME; I've never looked back and am the happiest and soberest I've ever been. I love Sundays now as I have no fear or resentment towards going to work and all related to it.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
