Endofline

This post is in response to told him all my secrets finally feel free. I was unable to post a response not sure why I haven't been on the site much lately. I first want to say I'm happy that things seem to be going in the right direction for you and your family at the moment, everyone on this site is extremely supportive and only want the best for everyone. I have to say that every post I read was only there trying to let you know that addiction is a roller coaster ride, and just when you think everything is going to be all better,suddenly without any warning your life is turned right back upside down. I too thought when I first joined everyone is so cynical their experience doesn't nessassarly mean mine will have the same outcome. The truth is all these addicts have either a adoring spouse to live for,a mother,father,brother,sister or beautiful children that love and need them and want them so desperately to be there. They still aren't able to keep clean and sober because the addiction is stronger than you realize not being an addict yourself. I understand not wanting to be labeled a Codie. I didn't think this label applied to me either, I was just a woman in love with a wonderful man that I married because he was everything I could ever ask for in life. Then he became addicted to pain killers and alcohol,he too started taking them for a legit medical reason but soon because of his addictive personality abused them. They became more important than anything else to him me the kids our whole life changed. It took me years before I would let myself concede that the man I fell in love with was gone. Unimaginable pain heartache not only for me but also my children. I can't count the times things seem to turn around and I believed this time everything was going to work out we would come out on the otherwise and beat the odds. The lies drove me to the brink of insanity I became consumed with all the chaos and getting him to be the man I remembered so fondly. I lost everything over the years from custody of my children to my job to every cent I had saved for all my life. Luckily I have been able to repair my relationship with my children they are young adults,but I will never be able to get that time back where I was there with them but constantly distracted and depressed by my crumbling marriage. I'm not a materialistic person and I would give anything to have him back and off drugs but I needed to move forward with my life. I finally realized I didn't cause it I can't control it and I can't cure it. This has been the hardest thing I have ever been through in my life crippling in fact. I know how it feels to hold out such hope to only be in for more disappointment it takes your breath away. I remember being angry with sime of the responses I got when I first joined this site but they are talking from experiences, experiences that take years sometimes to get through, your just in the beginning stages of this terrible situation. I too was on the defensive but listen with an open mind and just know we are all rooting for you and hope that you will be the exception to the rule. If things don't turn out down the road the way you hope just know that this is where you can always come back for love and support without any judging. That is the whole point of this site. God bless you and your family.

LoveMeNow

Hi Endofline -

Great post! You sound good! Way to Go!!

Endofline

Thank you lovemenot you were one of the first to help me when I joined this site. I have learned so much from everyone here. It has helped me tremendously get through each and everyday. I have a long way to go things certainly haven't been easy but I feel more at peace now that I have learned to let go. Reading that post 10 signs it's time to let go really rang true with me. I can honestly say each one applied in my situation. So I'm alone now and I don't have the desire to even meet anyone right now but hopefully with time I will and everyone else on this site will find a person that loves respects and makes them look forward to tomorrow.

LoveMeNow

I kept wondering what happened to you and prayed you were doing better. I think most of us have a long way to go but I am so happy to read how much better you are doing.

I continue to pray you (we) get healthier each and every day. No truer words were ever posted (not sure who posted it, sorry) but they are
healthy attracts healthy and sick attracts sick. It has taken too long to learn that but I do know I only want to attract healthy people in my life from this day forward and have really weeded out some unhealthy people.