Sloinge

So here I am day 30.

Feeling good. Got up early this morning with no hangover took my son out, got coffee, ran errands and was still home before I would previously have been waking up and trying to recover.

In the past I cannot believe how much time I wasted either thinking about the next drink, or recovering from the last drink, or wondering if I could make it through the next few hours until I needed a drink. It's a ridiculous amount of my life and energy - all wasted.

Still, there is a little voice inside my head telling me that I can have a glass of wine tonight because I'm ok. I can control it, I can do it. I deserve it because I have been so good lately.

It's always there and I hate the fact that I cannot be "normal".

Keep calm and carry on! I will keep busy and work out, hit the heavy bag and try to stay true to my normality. My life will never be the same.

Stay strong people......

MrsKing

Congratulations on 30 days. That's fantastic and so are you - good for you! That little voice (it seems like pretty much everyone on here has it or at least has at some point, which shows that it's obviously common among alcoholics and is therefore probably not 'normal') is something that we can learn to control... or if not control it, learn to ignore it and let it pass. Until I understood that those thoughts were my addiction talking, and not really me, I had terrible trouble with that voice and often spent long periods of time arguing with it. Now I'm totally aware that it is my addiction, every time it pops up to say hello, I tell it goodbye, and as a result it hardly ever comes along to question my sobriety any more. Have you looked into AVRT? It has helped empower me and give me the resolve to never drink again, and feel totally liberated by that decision.

Do keep calm and carry on. Being sober is far better than being normal, in my opinion

Sloinge

Thanks for the support.

I have done this on my own so far - other than SR that is. So I don't have knowledge of AVRT.

I put the "normal" in speech marks because I dont know what normal is anymore, just my own reality.

I am relieved and simultaneously sad that others have the voice as well. What a pain in the a** the little thing is for all of us.

Anyway, I feel better already for sharing. Isn't that one of the great things about SR

IndaMiricale

Congrats on 30

Its always fun to use the soberclock here.

MrsKing

There's an AVRT crash course online - google it, if you fancy. It takes hardly any time and it was revolutionary for me... even though it is so simple, something really clicked!

Yes, that's what is so brilliant about SR. Nobody's going to be judged here

Sloinge

Good advice, thanks for the link.

Will check it out. One thing that I am learning is that everything is worth considering. No more negative drunk voice telling me not to bother, to stay home, to stay within myself and just trust it all to the bottle.

I did yoga last week and still have sore buttocks to prove it, but It feels great to be open and positive to change.

instant

The longer you drink the quieter that voice gets. For me it was about a year, but it did happen, and it is worth it

hypochondriac

Well done on 30 days Sloinge

I second MrsKing's suggestion of looking into AVRT to quieten that little voice. It was revolutionary for me too x

2granddaughters

It was good for me though to find out that I was just a normal garden variety alcoholic and there was AA to help me treat the disease.

All the best.

Bob R