Admitting your are an alcoholic
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Gardner
Posts: 93
Admitting your are an alcoholic
For me - this was one of the hardest parts of my recovery. I didn't want to believe it. I wanted to believe that I was normal, that this was curable, that I just needed to learn some self control. That I could "handle" it. Well - I know I was wrong. I know I am an alcoholic. I know that when I'm in AA, my story my be different, but my disease is the same. At first - this brings about a sense of guilt, frustration, and sadness. Almost like I'm mourning my past life. However - I know I have to get off my pity pot and DO something about it. I want to be grateful, to see the light of things, to be proud of myself ... I want to feel different in a GOOD way, Not in a Ohhh ... YOU'VE got a drinking problem, while everyone else in the world is "normal". How have others dealt with this?
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 164
I dealt with it by drinking until I wanted to off myself and then going the next day to a meeting and saying to a bunch of strangers "I'm a ******, can't deal, need help" which felt very good. I highly recommend.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,145
Admitting to myself that I am an alcoholic and I will never, ever be able to drink again was a turning point in my life. I have made it into an absolute positive - I have liberated myself by understanding that my life can be whatever I want it to be so long as I never drink again. It's the best realisation I ever came to! Freedom - it's wonderful.
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: London
Posts: 299
I think there are a lot of "normal" people who also have issues. Some of them with the problems I have. In many ways I look at my sobriety as a big opportunity and a gift. I can now finally sort stuff out without drink getting in the way. And if I hadn't got to the point of drinking starting to ruin my life... I would have bumbled along with my problems and they would have got worse.
I saw a hypnotherapist when I first stopped who told me "your weakness will become your strength". At first I thought, "what?" but it's kind of getting that way. He also told me to go to AA.
I think a lot of people when they stop drinking need to some sort of recovery/work on themselves. As I drunk to deal with feelings, patterns of behaviour.
It's also normal as others say to mourn your past, it helps us start to let go.
I saw a hypnotherapist when I first stopped who told me "your weakness will become your strength". At first I thought, "what?" but it's kind of getting that way. He also told me to go to AA.
I think a lot of people when they stop drinking need to some sort of recovery/work on themselves. As I drunk to deal with feelings, patterns of behaviour.
It's also normal as others say to mourn your past, it helps us start to let go.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,022
I dealt with it, like a man! I cried. More than one time.
But it was very liberating, really. Once you get past denial and accept that drinking just, for whatever reason (and the "why" isn't anywhere near as important as the "what"), does not work for you, then figuring out what the "right" choices are becomes very simple.
Don't drink.
Try to avoid situations where you'll be tempted to drink. If you can't avoid temptation, see no. 1.
Use your newfound freedom from alcohol to make a sober life that's better than your previous drinking life, thus you are not tempted to pick up again.
But it was very liberating, really. Once you get past denial and accept that drinking just, for whatever reason (and the "why" isn't anywhere near as important as the "what"), does not work for you, then figuring out what the "right" choices are becomes very simple.
Don't drink.
Try to avoid situations where you'll be tempted to drink. If you can't avoid temptation, see no. 1.
Use your newfound freedom from alcohol to make a sober life that's better than your previous drinking life, thus you are not tempted to pick up again.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: US
Posts: 55
Admitting it was also the hardest thing for me. I quit for 6 months (ago) but during that time I resisted ever saying alcoholic, even avoided meetings because I didn't want to put that label on myself. In the couple meetings I attended and in all my subsequent weekly one on one counseling I said "I have drank too much at times." I was being too proud. Didn't feel absolute labels were fair.
Now, I just had a horrible10 day binge that will probably cost me my excellent job. Maybe it doesn't matter what you call it, but I know now that I am "a person who can never have a drink again or the most horrilbe things will happen and I will feel self disgust, guilt, shame and possibly death." I guess I don't care what term I use for that, but the outcomes of my drinking cost me dearly and threaten to cost me even more if I continue.
My very best to you Katie.
Now, I just had a horrible10 day binge that will probably cost me my excellent job. Maybe it doesn't matter what you call it, but I know now that I am "a person who can never have a drink again or the most horrilbe things will happen and I will feel self disgust, guilt, shame and possibly death." I guess I don't care what term I use for that, but the outcomes of my drinking cost me dearly and threaten to cost me even more if I continue.
My very best to you Katie.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Maryland
Posts: 120
i had such a difficult time admitting i was an alcoholic. i kept thinking i was just going through a rough patch, and that if i could figure out my 'issues' i would be able to drink normally.
the rough patch lasted 10 years, and it's pretty hard to figure out your issues with a brain riddled with booze.
i've found that drinking is one of many symptoms of my disease- that a lot of what led me to drink were what i consider to be my 'thinking problems'.
i do feel special (in a good way) because i have a program which helps me, everyday, to deal with everything in my life.
so really, because of my alcoholism, i get this amazing support and community....none of my normal drinking friends have that.
and i'm finally starting to LIKE myself again...can't recall the last time i felt that way.
feel special. you are special.
love and prayers for your journey,
hil
the rough patch lasted 10 years, and it's pretty hard to figure out your issues with a brain riddled with booze.
i've found that drinking is one of many symptoms of my disease- that a lot of what led me to drink were what i consider to be my 'thinking problems'.
i do feel special (in a good way) because i have a program which helps me, everyday, to deal with everything in my life.
so really, because of my alcoholism, i get this amazing support and community....none of my normal drinking friends have that.
and i'm finally starting to LIKE myself again...can't recall the last time i felt that way.
feel special. you are special.
love and prayers for your journey,
hil
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Interesting topic!
Well I'm a bit of platypus, recoverywise. I'm a big fan of AVRT, which doesn't require people to label themselves alcoholics, in fact some AVRTers will tell you they are no longer alcoholic. Me, I have no problem self-identifying as an alcoholic. I obsessed over alcohol. I couldn't have one drink without craving the next. Every cell in my body cried out for it. Toward the end I'd get the shakes if I went long enough without one. I dunno, sounds like an alcoholic to me.
For me the bigger issue to overcome was the whole concept of normal. I was glad to see you place quotes around the word, because when you really think about it, it's kind of silly. Did you drink when you were a kid? Did you feel like you were missing out? Only alcoholics, in my opinion, make such a big deal about drinking being normal. I eat chicken. Others do not. Is one behavior more normal than another? Homo sapiens have only been drinking for the last 12,000 years—just 5% of our time on this planet.
I try to focus instead on what I have in common with others. And we all have struggles, obstacles to overcome, walls that separate us from others, make us feel like outsiders.
We're alcoholics. We can't drink. Such is life. It's all perfectly normal.
Well I'm a bit of platypus, recoverywise. I'm a big fan of AVRT, which doesn't require people to label themselves alcoholics, in fact some AVRTers will tell you they are no longer alcoholic. Me, I have no problem self-identifying as an alcoholic. I obsessed over alcohol. I couldn't have one drink without craving the next. Every cell in my body cried out for it. Toward the end I'd get the shakes if I went long enough without one. I dunno, sounds like an alcoholic to me.
For me the bigger issue to overcome was the whole concept of normal. I was glad to see you place quotes around the word, because when you really think about it, it's kind of silly. Did you drink when you were a kid? Did you feel like you were missing out? Only alcoholics, in my opinion, make such a big deal about drinking being normal. I eat chicken. Others do not. Is one behavior more normal than another? Homo sapiens have only been drinking for the last 12,000 years—just 5% of our time on this planet.
I try to focus instead on what I have in common with others. And we all have struggles, obstacles to overcome, walls that separate us from others, make us feel like outsiders.
We're alcoholics. We can't drink. Such is life. It's all perfectly normal.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,860
Admitting I have a problem with alcohol was not difficult. My drinking and drug use became crippling. I knew it was time to save myself from a problem that had already caused brain damage, was going to kill me soon.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
"How have others dealt with this? "
this is what i did:
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs
i did it with a sponsor, praying like crazy, goin to meetings, putting in the footwork to change me, and didnt drink in betweeen.
this is what i did:
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs
i did it with a sponsor, praying like crazy, goin to meetings, putting in the footwork to change me, and didnt drink in betweeen.
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
Admiting i was an alcoholic was also a turning point for me. It still took some time before i quit but it was part of the process that lead me to a glorious sober life as opposed to a poor alcoholic death.
Best wishes, M
Best wishes, M
Powerless over Alcohol
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
Posts: 4,018
I for years admitted I was alcoholic but thought thats all there was , so be it thats how i will live out whatever days weeks or if lucky the rest of my years.
It was even a joke at the bar or by friends that nicknamed me you drunk, or the juicer. I dont have those names today, or those so called friends.
My friends are sober and part of the AA network.
It was even a joke at the bar or by friends that nicknamed me you drunk, or the juicer. I dont have those names today, or those so called friends.
My friends are sober and part of the AA network.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Someone at my first AA meeting said 'Well, it beats being normal'. That did it for me I have never made any kind of effort to fit in with the crowd so I don't know what that obsession about being a 'normal' drinker was all about? I have given that up. I am different in a good way now x
I have never made any kind of effort to fit in with the crowd so I don't know what that obsession about being a 'normal' drinker was all about? I have given that up. I am different in a good way now x
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