Beerbottles

I need to get this out so that my journey here is totally honest..

We have friends over for dinner - they are drinkers, I knew they would bring drinks, I thought about the upcoming dinner all day. Normally I'd go buy some beers of our own, but not today. I had all the opportunities but I didn't buy. Fast forward to the dinner and we're all sitting on our porch and our friends and hubby have a beer, there's beer in the fridge that I can get... And then it happens.....

A switch flicks and suddenly I'm telling my husband that I'm just heading up to the shops as I've forgotten an ingredient - lie
I realise I'm blocked in by other cars.. DAMIT.. I ask them to move the car and instead one of my mates offers to drive me and right there and then my plan was ruined...

I have no doubt I would of drunk tonight...at that moment.. I was fine an hour later, everyone is still here and that desire to drink has passed... But non the less it happened... I'm pretty guttered about it

Dee74

I know the idea isn't to everyone's taste, but that's what's known as a God Shot by some of us...

Leaving aside the theology, I think those moments, besides being incredibly lucky, can be very instructional, BB

You've just be reminded of how sudden, sneaky and powerful addiction can be....but next time you can be forewarned and forearmed

D

freshstart57

I look at those as 'a free one', a lesson presented without the cost of the pain caused by the mistake. Free is good.

The idea to get 'that missing ingredient' was your alcoholic voice, the voice of your addiction. As you saw then, if you stare at it for a few minutes, it will go away and leave you alone.

nonblondechef

You unwittingly foiled the beast. Silence is golden, eh? Glad it all worked out well in the end and you should feel really pleased about not drinking - that is a great accomplishment!

Beerbottles

I absolutely believe in divine intervention, I believe I was helped out tonight..

I'm glad the outcome was good but I'm scared ******** at what happened. It was a lesson, 9 days have been relatively easy and I felt I was cruising through.. My lesson is that this is not a one week fix, this is something I need to consciously work through daily, it does not just up and disappear.. The moment I take sobriety for granted, alcohol will instead take me.

2granddaughters

Believe in miracles ?? .... I rely on them !!

If you are an alcoholic of my type, you are sometimes defenseless against the first drink.
My best reasoning and efforts are no match for it.
The only remedy for my alcoholism in the long run is AA.

All the best.

Bob R

NewHouse2012

Interesting story. Don't feel too bad. At least you did not drink! Divine intervention at its finest if ya ask me. Bet you feel pretty good today even if it was a close call!

MrsKing

You didn't drink, that's the main thing. Don't feel guilty, just try to work on it. Your addiction wanted you to drink tonight and was going to do everything it could to get you to do it. You listened to it and were about to act on it. That's where you probably need to do some work. For a long time, I found it VERY difficult not to listen to that voice. It told me I needed a drink... told me a drink would make it better, make me relax, make me happier... a drink would turn a great situation into an even better one... and I believed all that, mainly because I thought that was ME talking. But it wasn't me, not the rational me. It was my addiction. And once I learned the difference between my thoughts and my addict thoughts, I was able to listen to thoughts of my addiction and understand that what it was telling me was all lies... all rubbish, and I didn't want to do any of what it wanted me to do. I didn't want to, so why did I have to? I didn't have to... I just had to let those thoughts come and go, occasionally telling them that I knew where this was going... and eventually, those thoughts rarely ever came.

Have a look at the AVRT crash course online. It may help so much with these problematic thoughts. It really helped me. Good luck.

Zencat

I know when I have no doubt about getting drunk, if one opportunity is thwarted by happenstance, the very next available time to plan may have me drinking.

Don't let stinking thinking get you the next time!

IndaMiricale

Yup your HP or your god doing for you what you cant do for yourself , just for that moment. And as you see that moment passed. And I bet your glad now that those cars where there.

Thats why I feel for me , its so important to have those people and places of AA to be around and for me to be able to reach in such times.

justhadenough

be proud of yourself for not drinking beerbottles

hypochondriac

Wow. Thanks for telling us that. It just goes to show how sneaky and desperate our addiction can be. I'm sure it was really frustrating at the time but I'm glad your plan was foiled xxx Don't feel bad about it though. I know I have had similar thoughts but I just haven't got to the point of acting on them x

katan

Well done - you did not drink!

AB1111

Probably just a "coincidence" that you were blocked in. Haha!

Pondlady

Divine intervention at it's best

Beerbottles

Thanks everyone... Waking up today has been odd, I actually feel as terrible as I do from actually drinking. I feel flat, angry, Ill, lethargic..I feel so many things this morning..and surprisingly even though I haven't had a sip, none of what I feel is good

NoFireWater

It's just the reality that's it's not going to be easy that's depressing you I think. If first days were easy for you this one snuck up on you and you realized how easy it would be to cave. That's scary, and thought provoking. Not happy and joyous thoughts lol

Bottom line is you didn't drink and you should be proud of that!

BTW I felt more headachy and tired and crabby in the beginning of third week than I did during the first two, maybe something similar is happening to you.

Dee74

Early recovery is a bit of a rollercoaster ride, emotionally - for all of us
hope your day improved BB

D

hypochondriac

I still have days like that after 5 months Beerbottles. Early on I equated them with hangovers and I had that little AV saying stuff like 'whats the point of giving up drinking if you're still gonna get hangovers?' (like that was the reason I was giving up drinking, just to get rid of those pesky hangovers, ha!).

One thing I noticed I get alot now is tension headaches when I am stressed/angry/anxious and that tends to lead to me feeling rubbish in the mornings.

I'm sure that being set up to drink and not being able to would be very frustrating and you're probably just carrying that through to today. I hope you feel better soon x

blueshades

It's understandable that you would be angry with yourself .I agree with those that say that you can learn from this and grow even stronger in the weeks and months to come. One of the first pieces of advice I got when I joined SR was to take time for myself. A lot of time. So, don't beat yourself up and keep moving forward!

Continued best wishes to you.