ZiggyB

Hi,
I had a nice date last night but the guy works in the liquor business, he claims he does not drink that much. What would you think?

-z

laurie6781

Well ........................ did he drink on your date?

I would have asked how much is 'not that much?'

To me, I would be very cautious, very very cautious on this one. I am not saying
that everyone who works in the 'liquor business' is a potential alkie or an alkie but
I have known many who are.

It would just turn me off, not only because I am a sober alkie of many years, but
I just would not be impressed by his 'profession' knowing the slippery slopes
around it, just like I am not impressed with some other professions that seem to
have a lot of alcohol connected with it

So after that long winded reply above, rofl yep to me it would be a Red Flag.

J M E

Love and hugs,

Pelican

Depends on his measuring stick? How much is not much vs. a lot to him? You can ask him to clarify. Then it is up to you to determine if his words match his actions.

I heard the reply: "I don't drink much, just socially" from a lot of guys at dating sites.
It translates to: I go by the bar every night on the way home and have a few social drinks after work.
To me that means an adult who depends on alcohol as a tool to unwind at the end of a day. I'm interested in people who know how to unwind without chemicals.

shawty80

it makes me anxious just thinking about it...

Hypatia

I would think that I had a nice date last night.

The liquor industry is made up of all sorts of jobs: admin, marketing, HR, IT, logistics, sales, R&D, quality control, supplies, robotics for automated bottling, accounting, legal, etc. etc.

ZiggyB

We actually met for tea at a coffee shop and we were there for quite a while and decided to go somewhere else and have a glass of wine. I had one too, so whatever....

We did talk a lot about the drinking thing and he is a sales rep, I think. He says booze is everywhere in the industry but he is trying to watch his consumption.

It is a little anxiety provoking but maybe I'll wait to see if he calls me again before I start worrying about it... lol

fourmaggie

why are you asking us? we dont know...

ask your gut and yourself all those questions and YOU decide....

would think that I had a nice date last night.

ZiggyB

Sheesh, I'm sorry I asked! You do know that you have a CHOICE to not respond to threads that don't interest you, right?

Have a nice evening, I hope you cheer up.

fourmaggie

^^^ then dont post if you dont want a reply...I stand by what i said...

have a great day
ps.. I think this is OVER THINKING....

albionel

I think it is being mellow-dramatic to ponder whether or not red flags should raise because a person works in the "liquor business" as a sales rep. Maybe this a subconscious thought on your part, telling you, you are not ready to date. Good luck to you.

Seren

Hi Ziggy,

I'm so glad you had a nice time. I guess all i could advise is to go ahead on another date if you would like to....but keep your eyes open. Under the circumstances, it might be wise to simply take your time and enjoy yourself

SadHeart

I don't drink much either and will tell someone if the discussion about drinking comes up. And it's the truth--not a red flag

I do drink some.

The red flag IMHO is that he is 'trying' to watch his consumption. Do or do not; there is no trying. Trying connotes trying and failing. Trying implies watching one's drinking is necessary.

I have no problems with alcohol and I have no need to watch my drinking; and I certainly don't have to 'try' to watch my drinking.

On the other hand, it may mean nothing. Context means more and if you talked a lot about drinking, such statements could well be nothing.

PP was correct. We don't and can't know. You will have to be aware and look for other clues as you get to know him. If it turns out he does have a drinking problem, you can walk away. If he doesn't you have may many more pleasant times.

Tuffgirl

I love a good microbrew myself. Wine on occasion. And if I am feeling really wild, I may have a martini on Christmas! ; )

Drinking in moderation is ok.

Shoot, just about everything is moderation is ok. It's when it no longer is moderated and completely takes over one's life and thoughts is when it becomes not ok.

I would imagine those first couple dating experiences to be difficult, no matter what profession the guy is in. More to be revealed...

Hope863

But he is trying to watch his consumption? That would be a red flag for me. Having lived in the life of an active A would make anyone hypersensitive or more apt to over think things. Just wait and see how things go.

mmk11

I spoke with my counsor last week about my fear of dating another A. He said one of the main things to look for is the importance alcohol holds in a person's life: For an A, alcohol has a special importance - how they talk about it, always have to have it around, bad behaviors while drinking, personality change while drinking, ignoring negative consequences due to drinking (so they can continue to drink). All true for my AH.

I would say listen to your gut.

fourmaggie

bingo! thats what i said....

lillamy

This would make me put my antenna up. The "trying to watch" part. If I enjoyed the date, it wouldn't prevent me from going on another one. But I'd be on alert.

I know a few bartenders who don't drink at all. Ever. Not because they're RAs but because they've seen too many drunks and don't want to be one.

I totally get the question, though. I mean, post-alcoholic, I think I'd figure out their drinking habits before I even cared if I liked them. Because it IS that important.