Katiekate

My xabf has begun a calling spree. Around 12 at night he begins calling my home phone and my cell, lets it ring, sometimes leave a message, sometimes just hangs up. First night I just got up and turned off the phones. Kept the messages but did not listen to them.

Last night my curiosity got the better of me, I listen to one of the messages, he was asking me how it felt to have someone call 20 times a day and hang up, he was inferring that that is what I was doing. Really??? Let me send you my phone records. He went on to say that is he could have a relationship it wouldn't be with me lol. This came out of left field.

PS I can't block every number on earth lol.

Just wondering what you guys think about this behavior. I am saving everything. Last night it was quiet, I think he may be done. Maybe he just wants to argue, he can, with himself.

By the way I am doing very well, feeling good and detached. I actually feel bad for him these days, but not bad enough to buy the bull.

Thanks guys, Katie xo

Learn2Live

Sounds like harrassment to me.

Seren

For a while, with my stepson, we simply made a habit of turning off the phones before going to bed or we would never get any sleep. He seemed to enjoy the 4 a.m. drunk call with his friends. No idea why except harrassment.

We would then turn the phone on when we got up in the morning....no calls from him during the day.

Thumper

My xah never called 20 times a might but he would call obsessively sometimes. Maybe 10-15 times on a bad night. He didn't always leave a message. I've been so thankful that he does not text or I'm sure he'd blow my phone up. A little was harassment and I think a little was just going crazy because I wasn't answering and he had something to say or wanted to know what I was doing. His mom was similar and she was not an alcoholic. She had kids that told her they didn't have a phone so she couldn't call all the time or would wear the batteries out in here cordless phone just dialing over and over. He doesn't do that anymore.

Alucard

Heres some awesome insight, this worked WONDERS for me!!! I contacted ATT after I dumped the drunk on it's @$$, and advised them that I wanted no stalkers and they did this cool thing called CHANGING MY NUMBER and then the drunk tried to call and got an automated message and I still chuckle at that!!!!:rotfxko

marie1960

Just goes to show you how truly out of control the active alkie's is. It's as if they continue to provide us with a reaffirmation of why we got off the rollercoaster.

So glad your protective shields are holding and you are not falling for his BS.

Katiekate

It's safe to say that I am done Marie, done done done, honestly this is just an annoyance.

Alu, I have a business tied to the phone, although I have thought about changing the number, at this point it's more trouble than it's worth.

Harrassment, yes, I agree, from a two year old.

I love that my dog go nuts if anyone comes near the house, she is awesome.

Thanks guys, it's funny, the word harassment did not enter my mind, but you guys are right. I think I need to take a look at that.

coffeeclouds

I had to tell AH to call only at certain times while he is in inpatient rehab. If we didn't answer the phone, he would just keep calling. He is so far following it, but got really mad at me when we didn't answer the phone the other day. Indicating to me that he hasn't changed much.

ZiggyB

I once had a problem with someone calling my number and hanging up. I believe it was an ex I had. I called him and told him I would have the phone company trace the calls and report them back to the police. Shortly after that, the calls stopped. It's an angry, childish and spiteful thing to do. Change your phone # if you have to.

lillamy

When my AXH was that crazy (calling & texting repeatedly -- and yes, 20 times a night wasn't unusual), I got a cheap pay-as-you-go phone. I think the phone was $10 and a month of unlimited nationwide calling & texting was $30 or something.

Because I was in a situation where divorce & custody hearings were coming up, I wanted a record of his behavior. If I hadn't needed that, I would have done what Alucard said and just changed the number. I'm sure your phone co can do that for a landline as well.

BlueSkies1

Apparently Katie he is very frustrated that you aren't reacting to him anymore. Well too bad for him.
He will get bored of it if he doesn't get a reaction from you.
I'd turn off the volume on the phone at night, not the phone itself, because I would want a record of harassment should I ever need it.

Learn2Live

If it were me, I would nip this in the bud.

Obscene or harassing phone calls are an unwelcome intrusion on your privacy and can be a frightening experience. The Federal Communications Act and many state laws prohibit telephone harassment.

When Does a Phone Call Rise to the Level of Harassment?
Telephone harassment occurs when someone intends to annoy, harass or threaten you by:

•Making a telephone continually ring
•Making lewd, indecent, or obscene comments, suggestions or requests over the telephone
•Making a telephone call where the caller does not identify himself
•Making repeated telephone calls where the conversation consists only of harassment
•Making a telephone call and using heavy breathing or silence with an intent to intimidate

Just one unwelcome call can be harassing, though a single misdial or "wrong number" call may not rise to the level of harassment. It's a good idea to tell the recipient of such a call that you accidentally misdialed their number. People who commit telephone harassment are subject to fines, prison or both. In many states, telephone harassment is a criminal misdemeanor and can be more serious when a defendant in a criminal case is harassing the victim.

What Other Factors Should I Consider?
•The timing the calls, i.e. calls made in the middle of the night are more likely to be harassing
•The frequency of the calls •Whether the calls include threats to injure or kidnap
•Whether the calls include lewd or obscene language

Are There any Exceptions?
Telephone calls arising out of family disputes, political squabbles and business matters are less likely to be made into criminal matters. A restraining order might be a more appropriate remedy in these situations.

What Should I Do if I Am Receiving Harassing Phone Calls?
If you are a victim of harassment, you should contact the police. You should make a note of the gender of the caller, the description of the caller's voice, the time and date of the call(s), what was said in the call(s), and an estimate of the caller's age. If the police can identify the caller and find sufficient evidence, they will forward the case to the District Attorney's office to prosecute the caller.

Your phone company might be able to assist by tracking down the caller. Phone companies have different policies on the course of action to take when a customer reports that they are receiving harassing phone calls. You should contact the business office of your phone company to find out its policy.

You should contact a lawyer to help determine if the caller's words or actions are obscene or otherwise unlawful. A lawyer can also tell you if you may be entitled to any civil damages for emotional distress.

If you receive a harassing phone call, don't engage in a conversation with the caller or divulge any personal information. Sometimes the caller is seeking a response from you, and not giving a response to the caller can discourage future harassing calls.

Alucard

I get the business connections, but I guess with me, I am going to be one cold callous SOB to the drunk, no matter the cost. No compassion. Thanks for playing.