Enabling Spouse?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Purgatory
Posts: 14
Enabling Spouse?
Hi everyone, I am new to the boards and I need answers. Of course I found you guys here, and I think I know what you are going to tell me anyway, but sometimes you just have to ask the question.
My wife of almost 2 years is alchohal dependant. I have told her so in the past, and even have gone so far as to call her a lush during an arguement. Only once has she ever agreed with me in stating that she has a problem, and would seek help. One of the many problems is that statement was over a year ago and long forgotten by her.
I feel as if I dont even know her, we relate pretty well when she is sober, during the day, but after about 3pm she starts in on the beer and sometimes its good, others its problematic. We dont connect sexually, or really emotionally once she's started in, I feel as if I really dont know her.
I wish to help her, but have conceeded that she needs to be an active participant in her recovery. Problem? Denial. Last real argument we had she told me flat out that the ball was in my court, and that I could leave if I wanted, of course she has probably forgotten this. I think she has a tendancy to have black outs or forget stuff, because she rehashes conversations alot. I dont know, but she does have a tendancy to "fall asleep" rather quickly, I say its passing out, but her version is just really tired.
She internalizes all kinds of family stuff, she had a rough childhood, her moms a lifelong achoholic, and she is starting to let all kinds of stuff, especially her health, go. Her teeth a literally rotting out of her head, and she doesn't even care. She has no care to do anything or go anywhere, other than maybe a friends house where she can drink. We cant visit my family because she wont get on a plane, my fathers health is becoming a travelling issue for him.
Our kids suffer all kinds of Wrath in the form of shouting and sometimes frustrated profanity, because they are kids. We have a 3 yr old son, and her son 13 from a previous marriage.
God I could go on and on and on.............long and short of it, The kids dont need to suffer, I am in the Army and am spending an ever increasing amount of time away from home. I can persevere and solve my problems with this, but the kids dont need to be a party to her downward spiral. Should I even try to break from her and take the kids........I guess that would be the question........Thanks in advance
My wife of almost 2 years is alchohal dependant. I have told her so in the past, and even have gone so far as to call her a lush during an arguement. Only once has she ever agreed with me in stating that she has a problem, and would seek help. One of the many problems is that statement was over a year ago and long forgotten by her.
I feel as if I dont even know her, we relate pretty well when she is sober, during the day, but after about 3pm she starts in on the beer and sometimes its good, others its problematic. We dont connect sexually, or really emotionally once she's started in, I feel as if I really dont know her.
I wish to help her, but have conceeded that she needs to be an active participant in her recovery. Problem? Denial. Last real argument we had she told me flat out that the ball was in my court, and that I could leave if I wanted, of course she has probably forgotten this. I think she has a tendancy to have black outs or forget stuff, because she rehashes conversations alot. I dont know, but she does have a tendancy to "fall asleep" rather quickly, I say its passing out, but her version is just really tired.
She internalizes all kinds of family stuff, she had a rough childhood, her moms a lifelong achoholic, and she is starting to let all kinds of stuff, especially her health, go. Her teeth a literally rotting out of her head, and she doesn't even care. She has no care to do anything or go anywhere, other than maybe a friends house where she can drink. We cant visit my family because she wont get on a plane, my fathers health is becoming a travelling issue for him.
Our kids suffer all kinds of Wrath in the form of shouting and sometimes frustrated profanity, because they are kids. We have a 3 yr old son, and her son 13 from a previous marriage.
God I could go on and on and on.............long and short of it, The kids dont need to suffer, I am in the Army and am spending an ever increasing amount of time away from home. I can persevere and solve my problems with this, but the kids dont need to be a party to her downward spiral. Should I even try to break from her and take the kids........I guess that would be the question........Thanks in advance
Queen of one liners
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: walking beside you! Not in front of you.
Posts: 658
Welcome Scotty,
You've taken a giant step towards your recovery from a disease that affects families, relationships, spouses and kids...You are not alone unless you choose to be...
I'd like to suggest you study all you can about alcoholism...please
remember the 3 Cs of Al-Anon.
you didn't cause it
You can't control it
you can cure it.
Your spouses drinking is truly her problem...
We are here 24/7. I am sure there will be others along soon to welcome you...in the meantime read some of the other threads and the power post at the top of this forum...I am sure you will find some help if you keep an open mind..
Love and prayers from one who cares
Daffodil
You've taken a giant step towards your recovery from a disease that affects families, relationships, spouses and kids...You are not alone unless you choose to be...
I'd like to suggest you study all you can about alcoholism...please
remember the 3 Cs of Al-Anon.
you didn't cause it
You can't control it
you can cure it.
Your spouses drinking is truly her problem...
We are here 24/7. I am sure there will be others along soon to welcome you...in the meantime read some of the other threads and the power post at the top of this forum...I am sure you will find some help if you keep an open mind..
Love and prayers from one who cares
Daffodil
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,955
Hi Scotty
and welcome aboard.
Sadly, there is nothing you can do to make your wife realize the depths of her problem.
I understand your situation, as my Father was a military man who had to deal with leaving his children with his alcoholic wife when duty called him away from home.
Only you can make the decision as to whether or not to end your marriage. And a decision that serious requires a lot of time and thought.
Have you considered trying Alanon meetings? You will find yourself right at home there, as you will be amongst people who are dealing with similar circumstances and problems.
I'm glad you found us. You will find a lot of experience, strength and hope here.
Peace,
Gabe
Sadly, there is nothing you can do to make your wife realize the depths of her problem.
I understand your situation, as my Father was a military man who had to deal with leaving his children with his alcoholic wife when duty called him away from home.
Only you can make the decision as to whether or not to end your marriage. And a decision that serious requires a lot of time and thought.
Have you considered trying Alanon meetings? You will find yourself right at home there, as you will be amongst people who are dealing with similar circumstances and problems.
I'm glad you found us. You will find a lot of experience, strength and hope here.
Peace,
Gabe
Paused
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Texas
Posts: 178
Hiya
I was with a guy that drank. Never been in such a situation before in my entire life. Needless to say it was awful to be around. I was confused and had no knowledge about alcoholism.
I learned about AlAnon and learned about this drinking disease called alcoholism.
I attended AlAnon for about 9-10 month and everytime I went there I was more stunned to what people actually put up with by staying with these sick people and all in the name of so called "love".
I learned that if one stays there, they are just as sick if not more so. One should never love anyone more than they love themselves. And to stay with someone that is so abusive is not love. That is what I learned.
For me "I love you" was not enough to sacrafice my life to something so awful. Just thinking about it now makes me feel faint.
I stayed 12 month and that was 12 month to long. It took me that long to figure out what was really going on.
I have a son and he deserved better than to be subjected to such evil and abuse.
There is no love in this entire world that would ever keep me with someone so destructive ever again because I love and respect myself more.
Now I also learned that people can recover "if they want to". If my ex would have entered a program and truly have made a change I loved him enough to support him through it. However he did not so the healthy me moved on! Thank God!
My ex was in denial as well.
So I had 2 choices, to stay in this miserable life or to leave, I left.
The hardest choice I had to make however the best I made.
I completely got away from it all including AlAnon. I learned and I left. I surrounded myself with all my healthy friends and family. For me to have stayed in this group would have been devistating because it kept me in the drama of it all.
Yes one can graduate from AlAnon and CODA if one truly wants to live a healthy life and be with healthy people. I did!
This was my one time experience and it scared me right into reality.
Reality is that we deserve the best and we have rights. So it is really up to you , and you alone what you must do.
I remember the more I talked, the more I tried to help the worse it got. I had to figure out why am I in such a awful relationship? What was going on with me that I would put up with this in the first place. He was not the problem I WAS! I was so busy telling him what HIS problems were instead of taking care of MY PROBLEM.
My problem was to stay in a dysfunctional relationship and by me staying in there I was just as dysfunctional. I have a son. He deserved to live a healthy and happy life, by me staying there he would not have. I would have been super selfish to subject him to such an abusive life.
My thought on your story is, take care of you and those kids. Nevermind her actions.
When I got better and took care of ME, my entire life went back to normal and I was the healthy me again!
People have a lot of opinion about this n that. If you never had to deal with anything like this, please be careful because sometimes the very things that are supposed to help can be the very thing that keeps you trapped with such sick people.
If you in the military you have tons of resources free. If you have a higher power great because you going to need that. My higher power is God and let me tell you, I listen to HIM!
I used to pray to HIM but I was so busy talking I never just listened to Him.........now I do! I was quiet long enough to listen.
I wish you well , take care of your kids because they are important.
Remember this is your life and you are in control!
God Bless
I learned about AlAnon and learned about this drinking disease called alcoholism.
I attended AlAnon for about 9-10 month and everytime I went there I was more stunned to what people actually put up with by staying with these sick people and all in the name of so called "love".
I learned that if one stays there, they are just as sick if not more so. One should never love anyone more than they love themselves. And to stay with someone that is so abusive is not love. That is what I learned.
For me "I love you" was not enough to sacrafice my life to something so awful. Just thinking about it now makes me feel faint.
I stayed 12 month and that was 12 month to long. It took me that long to figure out what was really going on.
I have a son and he deserved better than to be subjected to such evil and abuse.
There is no love in this entire world that would ever keep me with someone so destructive ever again because I love and respect myself more.
Now I also learned that people can recover "if they want to". If my ex would have entered a program and truly have made a change I loved him enough to support him through it. However he did not so the healthy me moved on! Thank God!
My ex was in denial as well.
So I had 2 choices, to stay in this miserable life or to leave, I left.
The hardest choice I had to make however the best I made.
I completely got away from it all including AlAnon. I learned and I left. I surrounded myself with all my healthy friends and family. For me to have stayed in this group would have been devistating because it kept me in the drama of it all.
Yes one can graduate from AlAnon and CODA if one truly wants to live a healthy life and be with healthy people. I did!
This was my one time experience and it scared me right into reality.
Reality is that we deserve the best and we have rights. So it is really up to you , and you alone what you must do.
I remember the more I talked, the more I tried to help the worse it got. I had to figure out why am I in such a awful relationship? What was going on with me that I would put up with this in the first place. He was not the problem I WAS! I was so busy telling him what HIS problems were instead of taking care of MY PROBLEM.
My problem was to stay in a dysfunctional relationship and by me staying in there I was just as dysfunctional. I have a son. He deserved to live a healthy and happy life, by me staying there he would not have. I would have been super selfish to subject him to such an abusive life.
My thought on your story is, take care of you and those kids. Nevermind her actions.
When I got better and took care of ME, my entire life went back to normal and I was the healthy me again!
People have a lot of opinion about this n that. If you never had to deal with anything like this, please be careful because sometimes the very things that are supposed to help can be the very thing that keeps you trapped with such sick people.
If you in the military you have tons of resources free. If you have a higher power great because you going to need that. My higher power is God and let me tell you, I listen to HIM!
I used to pray to HIM but I was so busy talking I never just listened to Him.........now I do! I was quiet long enough to listen.
I wish you well , take care of your kids because they are important.
Remember this is your life and you are in control!
God Bless
No More Mrs. Nice Guy
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Iowa
Posts: 724
Hi Scotty
It's my opinion that the decision to stay or go is a very, deeply, profoundly personal one. I think your responsibility is to yourself and the children. You can detach from your A when she is drinking, and you can learn to detach with love. That means allowing her to experience her own consequences... sometimes that may mean leaving her on the floor where she landed when she passed out. However, you might cover her with a blanket if you would feel better.
You can live your own life, taking care of yourself, making sure the kids are OK. You can set a good example for them by finding and attending meetings - if you are very lucky like I was, you'll find an Al anon meeting that has an Ala teen meeting at the same time!
Once you start doing some things differently - detaching, setting and maintaining boundaries, not arguing with a drunk nor believing anything that is said under the influence of alcohol, your life can improve. There are many here who have learned to live happy and serene lives AND are still married to or connected to Actively drinking Alcoholics.
Please read everything you can find about alcoholism, detachment, co dependency etc. There are book lists and power posts at the top of the forum that may be of tremendous help.
There is another post here called Just for Today. I recommend you read it and print it out. It's a great reminder that you dont have to decide your entire future today - just take care of yourself and make it thru today. Let tomorrow be something you deal with tomorrow.
HUGS
Barb
It's my opinion that the decision to stay or go is a very, deeply, profoundly personal one. I think your responsibility is to yourself and the children. You can detach from your A when she is drinking, and you can learn to detach with love. That means allowing her to experience her own consequences... sometimes that may mean leaving her on the floor where she landed when she passed out. However, you might cover her with a blanket if you would feel better.
You can live your own life, taking care of yourself, making sure the kids are OK. You can set a good example for them by finding and attending meetings - if you are very lucky like I was, you'll find an Al anon meeting that has an Ala teen meeting at the same time!
Once you start doing some things differently - detaching, setting and maintaining boundaries, not arguing with a drunk nor believing anything that is said under the influence of alcohol, your life can improve. There are many here who have learned to live happy and serene lives AND are still married to or connected to Actively drinking Alcoholics.
Please read everything you can find about alcoholism, detachment, co dependency etc. There are book lists and power posts at the top of the forum that may be of tremendous help.
There is another post here called Just for Today. I recommend you read it and print it out. It's a great reminder that you dont have to decide your entire future today - just take care of yourself and make it thru today. Let tomorrow be something you deal with tomorrow.
HUGS
Barb
....or at least hoping I am.
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Sunny Florida
Posts: 29
Scotty - Welcome to the boards.
Much wisdom has already been given here that I don't think I could add much....but I would like to say that you do have two children that you need to think about. You are right, they do not deserve to be part of her downward spiral, but they are as long as you allow them to be. Along with yourself, I would consider taking the 13 yo to an alateen meeting so that he can begin to understand the addiction also. 13 is a hard age w/o all the drama that is going on right now.
Unfortunately, from what you have posted, it doesn't sound like your wife is ready to seek recovery and you need to decide what YOU are going to do in the meantime. You can detach and remain living w/ your wife or you can leave but the decision is ultimately up to you b/c only you know your family. However, you cannot MAKE your wife well only yourself and in turn help your children get/stay well.
I pray that you get direction and that you have the strength to follow that direction!
Unfortunately, from what you have posted, it doesn't sound like your wife is ready to seek recovery and you need to decide what YOU are going to do in the meantime. You can detach and remain living w/ your wife or you can leave but the decision is ultimately up to you b/c only you know your family. However, you cannot MAKE your wife well only yourself and in turn help your children get/stay well.
I pray that you get direction and that you have the strength to follow that direction!
Paused
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: orlando florida
Posts: 5
Scotty,
I feel bad for you but indeed you can find help from books. They have a way of helping you face the reality of what an alcoholic really is. Life can be so much more than it is. Be the best thing that you will ever be....that is a dad!! Good Luck!! Patti
I feel bad for you but indeed you can find help from books. They have a way of helping you face the reality of what an alcoholic really is. Life can be so much more than it is. Be the best thing that you will ever be....that is a dad!! Good Luck!! Patti
Paused
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Wofford Heights, CA.
Posts: 1
Hi Scotty,
Your story is very similar to mine. I am also new to the Boards. I do not choose to run away from my problems, or those of my Wife. I love her very much and I see such a good person when she's not drinking. With God, all things are possible. Even facing this drinking demon that plagues us. God bless, Freebird.Cal
Your story is very similar to mine. I am also new to the Boards. I do not choose to run away from my problems, or those of my Wife. I love her very much and I see such a good person when she's not drinking. With God, all things are possible. Even facing this drinking demon that plagues us. God bless, Freebird.Cal
Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: georgia
Posts: 531
Hey Scotty and welcome,
I am sorry that you are in this situation as many of us have found ourselves in. We wake up one morning and the denial that we have had for weeks, months, or years just disapears and reality sets in. That is a good thing! Once we have passed the denial we can actually DO something to manage our lives to be happy and serene despite the storm around us.
Children however, see things much differently and 13 is a very difficult age. I have a neighbor that has an age spread with her children as you do with yours. The father travels a great deal and she is an alcoholic. Unfortunately all of the repsonsibilty of the smaller child falls on the older one. Mom is not capable of taking care of things as she should. It is TO MUCH pressure for an adolecent to "play" the role of an adult.
As everyone has recommended, read and learn all you can. You can only change you and why not start now??
Blessings to you, Constant
I am sorry that you are in this situation as many of us have found ourselves in. We wake up one morning and the denial that we have had for weeks, months, or years just disapears and reality sets in. That is a good thing! Once we have passed the denial we can actually DO something to manage our lives to be happy and serene despite the storm around us.
Children however, see things much differently and 13 is a very difficult age. I have a neighbor that has an age spread with her children as you do with yours. The father travels a great deal and she is an alcoholic. Unfortunately all of the repsonsibilty of the smaller child falls on the older one. Mom is not capable of taking care of things as she should. It is TO MUCH pressure for an adolecent to "play" the role of an adult.
As everyone has recommended, read and learn all you can. You can only change you and why not start now??
Blessings to you, Constant
Member
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 413
I agree with the others, especially Constant. If your wife is that bad then the 13 yr old is probably holding down the fort.
I hate to tell you this but if you leave Im not sure you can take both kids. Unless youve adopted the 13 yr old, that one stays with her.
If it was just you and her the choices would be a lot easier. As you say you can go away. I maybe off base here cause Im kidless. But can you remove the kids by sending them to grandparents or other relatives. Do you know her EX well enuf to know if it would be ok to reveal this too him. If hes a good Dad , his son might be better off with him.
I hate to tell you this but if you leave Im not sure you can take both kids. Unless youve adopted the 13 yr old, that one stays with her.
If it was just you and her the choices would be a lot easier. As you say you can go away. I maybe off base here cause Im kidless. But can you remove the kids by sending them to grandparents or other relatives. Do you know her EX well enuf to know if it would be ok to reveal this too him. If hes a good Dad , his son might be better off with him.
Paused
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: OH
Posts: 24
Are we married to the same woman? No, seriouly, some good advice here. One eyeopener for me was that I was afraid the school or child services was going to find out about my wifes drinking and that this could be an issue with them. You're headed in the right direction by coming here and asking questions. I feel for you being away and worrying about the kids. I work 45 minutes from home and to me that's to far when she's drinking. Take care of yourself and those kids.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
Posts: 146
Hi Scotty and welcome
I live with an alcoholic. It was eating me alive until I found some good literature ('The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage' comes to mind), and Al-Anon meetings.
Scotty, you will have some very decisions ahead of you and I'd say take it slow. Big decisions take time - maybe read some material, listen to some people who understand if you can, take what you need from it all, and leave the rest. Your decisions are deeply personal to you, they will have an impact on you and your family.
Try and visualise what you could have for you and your kids, then look at what you do have. It might be a bit freaky - it was for me - but it's food for thought!
Good luck
HugZ
Sandra
I live with an alcoholic. It was eating me alive until I found some good literature ('The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage' comes to mind), and Al-Anon meetings.
Scotty, you will have some very decisions ahead of you and I'd say take it slow. Big decisions take time - maybe read some material, listen to some people who understand if you can, take what you need from it all, and leave the rest. Your decisions are deeply personal to you, they will have an impact on you and your family.
Try and visualise what you could have for you and your kids, then look at what you do have. It might be a bit freaky - it was for me - but it's food for thought!
Good luck
HugZ
Sandra
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Purgatory
Posts: 14
Thanks for all the support guys, I really appreciate it. I was wondering if any of you have felt a sense of shame from this? I am making these posts behind her back, and I feel bad for doing it, kind of like if I was cheating. Is this normal should I be fealing bad or is that just a symptom of the syndrome?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: georgia
Posts: 531
Scotty,
I was so scared the 1st time I posted and cheating is exactly what I felt like.
I think that it comes from us denying, pretending or ignoring what was/is going on. Whether or not my husband would ever admit feeling bad about behaviors or things that he has done....I was NEVER allowed to think that these things were a big deal. SO sharing with total strangers that you think or feel like your spouse has a problem with alcohol/or whatever, makes us feel like we are ratting them out and taking the other side.
My husband knows I come here now...almost two years later. BUT until recently he thought we sat around chatting about how horrible "they" are....bashing them. I have explained that it is for us not for them....slowly he is seeing........as it took me time to see and be able to explain it was for me.
Funny thing about working the program....when the lights finally come on, it is hard to see how you were ever in the dark. Our minds understand and we get it....only when we are ready. Be patient with yourself and take time to do things for you because YOU want to. Coming here is a great start.
Blessings, Constant
I was so scared the 1st time I posted and cheating is exactly what I felt like.
I think that it comes from us denying, pretending or ignoring what was/is going on. Whether or not my husband would ever admit feeling bad about behaviors or things that he has done....I was NEVER allowed to think that these things were a big deal. SO sharing with total strangers that you think or feel like your spouse has a problem with alcohol/or whatever, makes us feel like we are ratting them out and taking the other side.
My husband knows I come here now...almost two years later. BUT until recently he thought we sat around chatting about how horrible "they" are....bashing them. I have explained that it is for us not for them....slowly he is seeing........as it took me time to see and be able to explain it was for me.
Funny thing about working the program....when the lights finally come on, it is hard to see how you were ever in the dark. Our minds understand and we get it....only when we are ready. Be patient with yourself and take time to do things for you because YOU want to. Coming here is a great start.
Blessings, Constant
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Purgatory
Posts: 14
Thanks Constant, I'm tired.......tired of being takin for granted, being the one who gets dumped on when no one else can be, being the one whos " On Duty" all the time......And I bet that you women can relate, I hate being the one they turn to when Their Drunk and Want Some? I mean I'm a guy and I am remiss to ever turn it down, but we dont really have a connection anymore, if that makes sense.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Michigan
Posts: 33
Hi Scotty,
I to am new to this site and it looks like I found the right one. My husband is in recovery for the 4th time. He, like your wife has said it is up to me. It was he was of control. If I leave then he could drink without guilt, guilt about what his drinking was (and still is ) doing to himself and our marriage. I have been reading as much as I can get my hands on but nothing is like having someone else to talk to.
I to am new to this site and it looks like I found the right one. My husband is in recovery for the 4th time. He, like your wife has said it is up to me. It was he was of control. If I leave then he could drink without guilt, guilt about what his drinking was (and still is ) doing to himself and our marriage. I have been reading as much as I can get my hands on but nothing is like having someone else to talk to.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: georgia
Posts: 531
Start by re-connecting with yourself! Try living by the hour or minute if necessary. What are your needs, what would you like to do....and start listening to you. We can't change anyone else, but we can "find" us and live and be who we want to be.
As far as the "needs" being met when she is drunk and wanting some....I know for a man it is entirely different, but for me, I have made one of my boundary lines there. If you're drunk....don't come looking for me....it ain't gonna happen!!
Blessings, COnstant
As far as the "needs" being met when she is drunk and wanting some....I know for a man it is entirely different, but for me, I have made one of my boundary lines there. If you're drunk....don't come looking for me....it ain't gonna happen!!
Blessings, COnstant
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
Posts: 146
Hi again Scotty,
Yeah, I post behind my partner's back too. I told him I was going to Al-Anon meetings and he gave me a lot of stick about it
But shame? No, just a choice I made. I made a choice not to put up with snide sarcasm with regard to this forum, that's all. I had the same situation as Constant - my A thought that all we did was have a "bitch 'n' moan" session, as he calls it, when I started going to meetings. I don't need that kind of attitude and I'm sure you don't want to risk it either.
You might be feeling a bit fragile - is there any way you can spend a bit of time with yourself doing something you enjoy?
Keep coming back
HugZ
Sandra
Yeah, I post behind my partner's back too. I told him I was going to Al-Anon meetings and he gave me a lot of stick about it
But shame? No, just a choice I made. I made a choice not to put up with snide sarcasm with regard to this forum, that's all. I had the same situation as Constant - my A thought that all we did was have a "bitch 'n' moan" session, as he calls it, when I started going to meetings. I don't need that kind of attitude and I'm sure you don't want to risk it either.
You might be feeling a bit fragile - is there any way you can spend a bit of time with yourself doing something you enjoy?
Keep coming back
HugZ
Sandra
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Purgatory
Posts: 14
Yes I am fortunate in the fact that I cann pretty much go and do what I want , when I want. The problem is, is that I have pretty much made a prison for myself at the house. I keep myself confined here, for piece of mind. Just so I can be here "just in case."
Actually had a bad night tonight. I friend and coworker of mine was having a birthday tonight. Originally the wife wanted no part of going over there, which was good for me because if I decided to go over there then it would only be for a short time and no drinking. I have not made a pact to not drink, I just cant bring myself to do it when I feel that I have to be responsible. Anyway she decided last minute that she wanted us to go together. So we end up going and she gets pretty tanked.........well we didnt even know half the people there, I knew this would be the case, but she thought that she was the life of the party, and that everyone thought that she was really funny.
My question is, what the heck is that anyway? I mean really, a bunch of people are really going to just think your great and really funny right off the bat? I dont' know........I mean she is pretty funny, but tonight she was downright obnoxious. Maybe its me..........wont know until Monday what the concencus is, if even then........
Actually had a bad night tonight. I friend and coworker of mine was having a birthday tonight. Originally the wife wanted no part of going over there, which was good for me because if I decided to go over there then it would only be for a short time and no drinking. I have not made a pact to not drink, I just cant bring myself to do it when I feel that I have to be responsible. Anyway she decided last minute that she wanted us to go together. So we end up going and she gets pretty tanked.........well we didnt even know half the people there, I knew this would be the case, but she thought that she was the life of the party, and that everyone thought that she was really funny.
My question is, what the heck is that anyway? I mean really, a bunch of people are really going to just think your great and really funny right off the bat? I dont' know........I mean she is pretty funny, but tonight she was downright obnoxious. Maybe its me..........wont know until Monday what the concencus is, if even then........
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Join Date: Sep 2001
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Scotty,
I would like to just say that I can relate to you in this whole thread. I would like to respond to you more indepth but it's late and as my SO is the A in my life sleeps on the couch near the computer here, I can't do alot of typing....it wakes him up!
But I will get back to you though.....have alot to say!
Hugs and hang in there!
I would like to just say that I can relate to you in this whole thread. I would like to respond to you more indepth but it's late and as my SO is the A in my life sleeps on the couch near the computer here, I can't do alot of typing....it wakes him up!
But I will get back to you though.....have alot to say!
Hugs and hang in there!
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