Beerbottles

That has always been a huge player in drinking for me and I'm sure I'm not alone. I do not do well at social functions without drinking before hand.

To the point... Today is my first day at work.. I'm a qualified teacher and landed a job as a college lecturer. This would absolutely be where I feel I need to drink..I'm so passionate about teaching and I love it but the fear of public speaking is crippling. I struggled giving presentations throughout my degree, I shake, I lose my breath, I skip half the presentation knowing full well I'll lose marks, just so it can be over..

I'm teaching today.. And I'm teaching college undergraduates.... The self doubt is crippling, I feel like a fraud, that I'm not good enough and it's only a matter of time before my uselessness will be exposed... I honestly don't know how I'm going to do this today.. I'm shaking already.

DisplacedGRITS

alcohol is false confidence. if you had confidence with alcohol then you have confidence. the alcohol doesn't give it to you. try doing some breathing techniques and positive self talk. alcohol gave you nothing. it took away from you. it's up to you now to find your own alcohol substitute. you are not less of a person without alcohol. you are more of one. you are better. your confidence is more, not less. you are more in control. you are more prepared. you are stronger and a better person sober. you are a more competent teacher. your students will respect a sober teacher more than a drinking one. you have so much more going for you now. remember that. you are more. you are not a fraud. the fraud was the drinker with false confidence. you have transcended that and become so much more. remember that.

Hevyn

Hi beerbottles. I was just like you. I wish I'd never masked my feelings with booze. In the end, it made me more afraid & anxious. It was no help, & kept me from growing.

You getting that job was no accident. They know how talented you are & what a wonderful job you'll do. I hope your love of teaching will help you rise above your nerves & self-consciousness.

NoFireWater

Beerbottles, Congrats on the new job!! Exciting and threatening at the same time. I think if you focus on your students instead of yourself you'll be fine. It's interesting that you chose to be a lecturer with a crippling fear of public speaking. Very brave actually! Your enthusiasm will shine through and you'll get used to it. You certainly don't want your students remembering you as the teacher who drank. Good luck with your first days!

Dee74

Hi beerbottles

First off you'll find teaching undergrads is a heck of a lot more relaxed than teaching high school for example.

Still, everyone is nervous in those situations until they find their feet...everyone has those insecurities of 'being found out'.

It's nonsense - I'm sure you're great at teaching. You just need time to grow into it
You'll do fine once you get into the swing of things

Besides, having a belt before every class isn't really a sound strategy for the classes educational fufillment... or for your career advancement

D

Beerbottles

Thank you so very much.. Those words help me immensely.. I really really really needed to read them. It is a very Bizzare choice of profession I feel, but I'm so passionate in passing on knowledge, my field is health and I want to educate people in making healthy choices in life... IRONIC MUCH!

I've never had a drink before class, never, but by god do I want to. I long do badly to be able to walk into a room and hold a conversation, yet I struggle to even say hello or look people in the eye. I'm surrounded by people who believe in me yet I can't believe in myself. I HATE that I'm this shy, self concious and self doubting..

Perhaps there really is a reason behind all this..

awuh1

What makes you think those under grads know more about the subject than you do? IMO you’re there to assist in their learning. If someone comes up with a question you don't know an answer to, the most ethical thing to do is say you don't know and that you'll find out (unless perhaps if you’re teaching philosophy course ).

Dee74

I was never a lecturer but I was involved with lecturing and tutoring...I'm very shy, and I have a bad stutter so it was pretty excruciating for me some days initially...

but even I got better at interaction...I enjoyed it by the end, to be honest
I'm sure you will too

D

Someguy23

I remember the first time I was in front of a roomful of students, many of whom were older than I was at the time...

A trick I've been using is to imagine I'm talking to myself back when I was learning the same stuff they're learning. Helps to keep me relaxed.

I also try to remember what I wish I would have caught the first time around but didn't, what I used in subsequent classes and what I never heard about again, what caught my attention and what I couldn't have care less about, etc...

This trick might be age-dependant, I'm not very far removed from an undergrad myself, but give it a try.

You'll do fine.

Someguy23

Oh, by the way, the only time teaching and drinking collided for me was when I ran into some of my students in a bar.

I was on my 5th beer and vodka. It was pretty awkward.

Beerbottles

I did it

What a interesting journey this afternoon was. I parked the car and midway through walking to class the heavens opened up. I found a tree to hide under but by that point I was DRENCHED. I had spent some time getting ready and presenting myself well, no doubt so I felt more confident (wasn't working). So there I stood, with 10 minutes to get to class under a tree sopping wet. It was at that point I started to fret, I was scared and out of control.. But then something really beautiful happened. Time kind of slowed down, and the rain disappeared and the sky streamed the most lovely sunlight through to where I was standing. It may sound lame and a bit fruity but I took this as a sign. My time was now, this was my moment. I put my shoulders back, lifted my chin and walked to class. I did really well, I spoke with confidence, I soaked up my feelings, I believed in myself and tonight at the end of my first working day I'm filled with hope...

I'm going to be just fine

Dee74

awesome
well done BB!

D

Beerbottles

And now I want a drink to celebrate.... "**** off addict voice, you're not welcome here. I'll have a tea instead!"

Jeni26

Oh beerbottles, I can SO relate to you. I'm a teacher also and I've never doubted my ability to work with kids, I can really relate to them. I do best with the sort of class that would drive others to distraction. My students all have special needs and challenging behaviour-they scream, throw things, bite, and generally cause havoc! I throw myself into it, working out what makes them tick and discovering the root causes of the behaviour. I thrive on the successes when they learn to communicate their frustrations instead of taking it out on their environment. I love it.
HOWEVER, ask me to present to a group of adults, or lead a discussion, and I'm a quivering wreck, full of self doubt. I've got lots of knowledge yet consider myself completely unworthy of gaining respect from others.
But since I stopped drinking to control my nerves, I'm gradually getting stronger and more assertive. I have been promoted. I deal with so many things now that I never thought possible. On the last dy of term I was standing in front of the school, microphone in hand taking a whole school assembly!
This is the real me, I can do it!!
So pleased for you. And for me. We are doing just fine xxx