It's so hard to hide this!
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Join Date: Jul 2012
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It's so hard to hide this!
I ran out of Vicodin on Thursday of last week. Felt horrible, no energy, severely depressed, very sick. Perfect time to kick it! Well yesterday a friend of mine tells me she has some I can have, because she can't swallow pills. I think, hmm well a few won't hurt. (I stared at them for a few minutes debating with myself but gave in. 
I felt fantastic. Well today I woke up feeling so, so so so sick and hopeless. I have never felt that hopeless ever in my life. I wanted to die, desperately called my friend and begged for some more. I made an appointment with a substance abuse counselor for Wed of NEXT week. I don't know what to do. My boyfriend has no idea I'm even addicted and withdrawing in front of him is horrible. We haven't been intimate in over a week because I've been withdrawing, I'm obviously acting off because he thinks I'm wanting to leave him or something. I can't tell him the truth but I am dying!
I felt fantastic. Well today I woke up feeling so, so so so sick and hopeless. I have never felt that hopeless ever in my life. I wanted to die, desperately called my friend and begged for some more. I made an appointment with a substance abuse counselor for Wed of NEXT week. I don't know what to do. My boyfriend has no idea I'm even addicted and withdrawing in front of him is horrible. We haven't been intimate in over a week because I've been withdrawing, I'm obviously acting off because he thinks I'm wanting to leave him or something. I can't tell him the truth but I am dying!
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Greensboro, NC
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Nobro, Denial is not a river in Egypt. You need some help. May I suggest going to a medical doctor for some help Stat. Believe me when I say it can mean the difference between success and failure.
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Originally Posted by IvanKatz 
Nobro, Denial is not a river in Egypt. You need some help. May I suggest going to a medical doctor for some help Stat. Believe me when I say it can mean the difference between success and failure.
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Nobro, I guess I should have clarified. If you go to your doctor and be 100% honest with them, they can prescribe some meds to help w/ anxiety and most of all SLEEP! If you can get 10 hours of knock you butt out sleep, you'll feel amazing in a few days. You see, the sleeplessness and constant anxiety compounds the W/D by a factor of 10. I know, I've been there sweetie. Several times.
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Originally Posted by IvanKatz
Nobro, I guess I should have clarified. If you go to your doctor and be 100% honest with them, they can prescribe some meds to help w/ anxiety and most of all SLEEP! If you can get 10 hours of knock you butt out sleep, you'll feel amazing in a few days. You see, the sleeplessness and constant anxiety compounds the W/D by a factor of 10. I know, I've been there sweetie. Several times.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: NYC
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Nobro - if you think that your doctor isn't going to get it then you should consider finding a new one.
Why do you feel that you can't come clean to your boyfriend? It is going to make it much more difficult to be around someone that doesn't know what is going on.
As far as the intensity of the withdrawal all I can say is that it is intense, but it does get better. If you take another pill you are going to be back to square one. You only have to go through this once, and then it is over. Once you get through it you will never have to wake up sick in the mornings, never have to worry about running out of pills, and never have to deal with all the other BS that comes with it.
Why do you feel that you can't come clean to your boyfriend? It is going to make it much more difficult to be around someone that doesn't know what is going on.
As far as the intensity of the withdrawal all I can say is that it is intense, but it does get better. If you take another pill you are going to be back to square one. You only have to go through this once, and then it is over. Once you get through it you will never have to wake up sick in the mornings, never have to worry about running out of pills, and never have to deal with all the other BS that comes with it.
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Join Date: Nov 2011
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Nobro, the good side about this is???? If you quit them now, and do not ever go back on them you will NEVER have to go through this crappy situation again. EVER. I was in your same shoes 5 months ago, and tried and tried to quit pills. I would always find a excuse, or put off the quitting because I could not and refused to not feel like crap. Finally, I had to come clean to my husband, and lay in bed for a week and just deal. YOU will hurt, you will cry, but you get better. You can take hot baths, watch funny movies, and just deal with it. Personally, I would come clean to your boyfriend. The relief you will feel will help you immensely. If he loves you enough, he will stand by your side through these hard times. I would not recommend keeping the secret in, and trying to go through this alone. I highly recommend to anyone to quit cold turkey, just fight the fight and you will get better. In a week you will be through the worst of it, and you will start to heal. YOU CAN DO THIS. I had a baby at home, and angry hurt husband, major debt, and living in a foreign country...I made it through it. I am almost 6 months off pills now and feel better than ever.
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Nobro,
I'm glad you did this! It's embarrassing as hell but it has to be done. When I told my wife I was dependent on my pain medication and had a problem with it... I can't tell you how destroyed I was to see the disappointment in her face. It was a wake up. THe thing is though, we've both been through and hell and back and supported each other. Whether it's been deaths in the family, lost jobs, my wife's cancer, car wrecks or whatever! We've been through the wringer. But-We've both been there for each other and I have to say that after 12 years of marriage, we have each others back because of the unusual bond we have together.
I'm glad you did this! It's embarrassing as hell but it has to be done. When I told my wife I was dependent on my pain medication and had a problem with it... I can't tell you how destroyed I was to see the disappointment in her face. It was a wake up. THe thing is though, we've both been through and hell and back and supported each other. Whether it's been deaths in the family, lost jobs, my wife's cancer, car wrecks or whatever! We've been through the wringer. But-We've both been there for each other and I have to say that after 12 years of marriage, we have each others back because of the unusual bond we have together.
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