Lara

Dear Members (Bobcat; Crazybabie and team).... my feelings of 'caring' as I expressed in earlier thread today have been blown out the window..... as the day has progressed I have received a number of phone calls... the first 5 phone calls this morning were from 4 mutual friends of H and mine and H's business partner- all asking me to come to Zanzibar to help - as H gone on a 5 day whisky drinking binge and God knows what else... he has failed to rock up at critical meetings - won't take calls etc etc
H is extremely successful in business - well up and till now.
All these calls have bothered me and my sister and I have obviously been discussing the options - what should we do? Should we do anything at all...blah blah blah
Then the 5th call of the day - our darling friend (a friend to all of us) has taken a very bad turn. Llewellyn is 35 years old, has a gorgeous wife and 2 young children.... He is losing his battle to brain cancer - but he is putting up a brave fight.
Llew supported H through his rehab etc - even when he was so sick with chemotherapy - he always made time for H
Now H can't even be bothered to phone Llew's family and send his prayers...

I am so so angry at H's selfishness... and his weakness... I could RIP his HEAD off his effing shoulders!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Here he has a CHOICE to live - and he is chosing to **** it all away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FindingErica

First, I'm sorry about your friend. It is hard to see the dichotomy between an active addict killing themselves and someone dying from a disease that they are valiantly trying to survive. For example, I work with cancer patients, mostly 4th Stage. I've seen husbands desperately trying to survive to spend even another month with their family and husbands who will not leave their ill wife's side. Then I see my AH pi**ing away his family, his marriage and his relationship with his children. Addiction is definately a selfish 'disease' and the addict will selfishly leech onto others and suck away their energy and resources until the person becomes a shell as empty as the addict.

kmangel

Let your anger go over what your husband is doing now. He is doing as addicts do. His drug is his first priority right now. Accept this reality. He is showing his true colors. He'll be this way until (and if) he decides to do something about it.

Move on and be the person your friend needs right now. Support him and his family during this difficult time.

bobcat2000

As said many times. DO WHAT IS RIGHT FOR YOU and YOUR SON. He is the master of his destiny... let it go... your addiction to H is messing you up!!!

crazybabie

Lara, I would think by now you see who he has become. Can you block his numbers on your phone? Be with your friend and their for his wife take care of yourself as well.

I understand there are no meetings in your area but can you access meetings online?

I will be praying for your friend, his family, and you.