Deuce85

Hello everyone. Little background info. I am 26 yr old. Had an OxyContin addiction for about two years. Quit oc in February of 2011. Started on suboxone right after oc. Stayed on suboxone until may of this yeAr. I have been two months clean. The physical withdrawals have stopped but all day I have bad thoughts running through my head. Someone said I am still detoxing mentally. I never want to go back to drugs. I have not been addicted to anything but oc. I been trying meetings off and on about a year. It is not for me. No knock to anyone it is just not for me. Is there anything else I can do? I go see a drug therapist and he said I should go to meetings because I need to meet more people. He is right. Is there anything else and will this get better if I do not go to meetings? P.s. please do not ask or try to convince me about aa or an. Many people have tried and I still won't get into it. Thanks for the concern though.

hypochondriac

Try Rational Recovery: The New Cure for Substance Addiction by Jack Trimpey. It may help with some of the psychological aspects of addiction.

If you need to meet new people there are many places you could go which don't involve meetings. Just make sure you avoid people who are doing drugs

Hope you find the help you need x

Dee74

sorry to see you struggling Ttal, but good to see you back.

I hope people will respect your feelings here about 12 step programmes, whether they agree or not.

There are a number of non 12 step recovery programmes on this list, with various meetings options, online options etc:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach like SMART, Rational Recovery, LifeRing etc.

D

Anna

Hi Ttal,

I'm glad you're continuing to work on your recovery and Dee's links should be very helpful to you.

Deuce85

Thanks guys. I really appreciate the support. Right now for my recovery I have been going to church, praying, reading more, starting to come back on this site, exercising, and seeing an adiiction counselor. Only thing I am missing is a social life. I work, but i dont have many friends because they still do drugs and the ones that are sober moved away. I would go to some aa meetings to meet people but when i tried that i had people in my face telling me i needed a sponsor and need to work the steps or I am going to relapse. I hate that ****. Way to set someone up for failure huh.

Dee74

Like I said Ttal if AA's not working for you, for whatever reason, then try any one of the multiple options I posted above.

Google sober meet ups in your city too - it's a sober based friends meet up thing...they seem to be getting more and more popular.

and...lets not make this into another he said, they said tit for tat, AA/not AA thread.

If you don't want people to 'pushAA/NA' its probably best of you keep it off the agenda too

freshstart57

Hi, Ttal, there are many here who have gotten and stayed sober and straight without a 12 step program. I understand your feelings about them, I tried them too.

You seemed to have made that vow to stay away from those horrible blue pills of misery, and congratulations to you. I know that you believe that is the most important first step.

I made that vow too, and decided that this was going to be only as difficult as I chose to make it, it is all in my head after all. I quickly latched onto the idea that my addiction comes from that base, crude part of my brain, and if I can decide that it is not my thinking brain, then I can separate myself from it. If I can separate myself from my addictive voice, then I don't have to listen to it if I don't choose to.

I found out a month or two later that this idea, repeated millions of times by people that just quit 'on their own', is called Addictive Voice Recognition Technique tm, and you can find out more about it by googling it and going to the AVRT / Rational Recovery website.

Deuce85

Sorry dee. Yeah I dont want to start one of those threads. Thanks guys. Freshstart and dee i am hearing alot of good things about the avrt i will give the book a try. I go to a therapist and we practice cbt and i think avrt is based on that. My question to yall is how do you deal with the social aspect of recovery? I know i shouldnt be thinking ahead, but I have like four weddings comming up this fall and i am worried.

freshstart57

The social aspect was a little daunting for me too, at first. I did the visualization thing beforehand, picturing myself at the reception, receiving line, toasts to the wedding party, dancing after, all without a glass of wine, a beer or cocktail in hand.

I made a plan to have a drink on the go all the time, and it was ginger ale, a virgin mary, lime and tonic, or just water. I also had a plan B, and decided that if I got panicky at any time, I could just remove myself physically, go for a walk, hang out in the lobby, or even just leave.

The first wedding was a little scary but the preparation paid off. Each time was a little easier. Since then I have done the camping / fishing trip with enough booze to stock a hotel, and I hung in there, I think that one was the acid test.

I just remember that any thought of weakness, doubt that I can do it, or even the possibility of ever drinking again is not me, but my Addictive Voice, and I know better than to believe it. You will see the AV mentioned sometimes around SR, but it is often just mentioned in passing, without taking advantage of the tremendous opportunity for sobriety that particular recognition offers.

Pay a visit to the Secular Connections forum as Dee suggested if this continues to interest you, Ttal. AVRT is widely discussed there.

Dee74

I'm not as social as I used to be Ttal - but then I think I was mainly social to be around booze anyway, y'know?

Outside of the recovery community, I think hobbies & interests are a good way to meet new people...it all depends if you feel you're ready to socialise as a non drinker I guess?

D

jobei

Praying ALWAYS helps me! Keep your head up my friend! It will get better the longer you go w/o using!

katiedid722

Be honest with your boundaries at first. Only do what you are comfortable doing and listen to your limits. What i mean by that is that if you aren't comfortable going to the first wedding when it comes around, then don't. and Don't feel guilty about it either because right now protecting your sobriety is the most important thing in your life. Get on SR, read some good self help books in this area, Coffee shops, bike riding (?) or something of the sort that you may enjoy, weed out the friends who talk about getting drunk or doing drugs, and spend more time with the family and friends who understand how important your sobriety is to you. We are always here for you!

hypochondriac

This is something I worried about too. Before I quit drinking I was going out a lot, in some vain attempt to stop me drinking too much (My proper drinking took place alone). When I realised that wasn't helping I decided to stop socialising and take a bit of time out to get better.

I did have to go to some social events early on though because of my work. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. So, like Katie said... if you don't feel comfortable, don't go. Your sobriety has to come first.

If you absolutely have to go, make sure you have an escape plan and do something there to keep busy...take loads of photos at the weddings, run around chatting to people...

For me it has been easier to be out sober as time has gone on.

Good luck and let us know how you get on x

IndaMiricale

I see some great advice, as usual

You can live free.

Deuce85

Thanks for te advice guys. I am doing pretty good. Really don't have any cravings. But I am just filled with stress and anxiety. Somebody said it may be paws. I don't know though. They say suboxone paws lasts awhile. I am just scared I will ne'er be happy again. I hope some relief comes soon. I have bad thoughts running through my mind all day. My counselor says just accept them and don't magnify them but it is hard when your feeling bad.

Deuce85

It's weird. This morning I felt horrible. Now I feel ok. So much anxiety, self doubt, and depression this morning. I feel better now. It's like that every day. Bad in the morning. Feel ok after lunch. I think it may be because I use to take my dose in the morning and my body is getting adjusted to not having that little rush in the morning. Does that make sense?

hypochondriac

That makes sense. Though I generally always feel worse in the mornings even though I never drank then...?

One of the best things that I have ever learnt is that any thoughts and feelings that come into my head are transient. They will pass in time and I don't have to act on them. If I do dwell on bad thoughts then I will just create a downwards spiral. It takes practice not to just be reactive though.

I hope you feel better soon x