Guidance Wanted for Taking the Big Step
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Notheast US
Posts: 524
Guidance Wanted for Taking the Big Step
I’ve been lurking here for several days, not knowing where or how to start.
Rum is my drink of choice and I go through a 1.75 litre bottle in 8 to 11 days. For almost 10 years now, I have experienced neurological problems and have lovely pictures of my brain which show lesions and now brain atrophy. I have to stop drinking or it will kill me.
In 2005, I had 3 months of sobriety. I had four months of sobriety last fall.. I thought I was doing well. Pysch prescribed Naltrexone and I was seeing a therapist. Towards the end of my sobriety, my neuro symptoms kicked in for six weeks, which I did not expect to happen because I was not drinking.
Then my mother died unexpectedly from complications of COPD in Florida. Due to unusual circumstances, we were not able to go to Florida for 4 months to wrap up her affairs and in the meantime one sister estranged herself from the family.
I have not been able to really grieve my mother’s death and started drinking 4 to 5 drinks a day after coming back from Florida. I think subconsciously I am trying to “honor” my mother by not taking care of myself the same way that she did.
I am scared right now, with the brain damage I have done to myself. I can’t drive right now due to vision and balance problems, so I am on a medical leave of absence and probably won’t be able to return to work. I also feel almost helpless in terms of choosing the right treatment approach. We have very limited programs here and so many are half full of court ordered individuals where it is easier to get drugs inside the program than on the street. The therapist I saw for 7 months was not a good fit for me; he was holistic to the point of bordering on fanatical. He never asked me how I was doing with alcohol after the first few months, even when I was going through the very stressful time of my mother’s death and my ex’s cancer.
I did attend AA a few years back, even though I am skeptical of the program. There were limited groups available to me. One was so large (200 plus) and another was the complete opposite, so small and with the few members having been in the group together for a long time.
I know I’ve rambled here, but really would like some guidance in terms of how to find a good fit with a counselor. Even links to a questionnaire would be helpful at this point.
Rum is my drink of choice and I go through a 1.75 litre bottle in 8 to 11 days. For almost 10 years now, I have experienced neurological problems and have lovely pictures of my brain which show lesions and now brain atrophy. I have to stop drinking or it will kill me.
In 2005, I had 3 months of sobriety. I had four months of sobriety last fall.. I thought I was doing well. Pysch prescribed Naltrexone and I was seeing a therapist. Towards the end of my sobriety, my neuro symptoms kicked in for six weeks, which I did not expect to happen because I was not drinking.
Then my mother died unexpectedly from complications of COPD in Florida. Due to unusual circumstances, we were not able to go to Florida for 4 months to wrap up her affairs and in the meantime one sister estranged herself from the family.
I have not been able to really grieve my mother’s death and started drinking 4 to 5 drinks a day after coming back from Florida. I think subconsciously I am trying to “honor” my mother by not taking care of myself the same way that she did.
I am scared right now, with the brain damage I have done to myself. I can’t drive right now due to vision and balance problems, so I am on a medical leave of absence and probably won’t be able to return to work. I also feel almost helpless in terms of choosing the right treatment approach. We have very limited programs here and so many are half full of court ordered individuals where it is easier to get drugs inside the program than on the street. The therapist I saw for 7 months was not a good fit for me; he was holistic to the point of bordering on fanatical. He never asked me how I was doing with alcohol after the first few months, even when I was going through the very stressful time of my mother’s death and my ex’s cancer.
I did attend AA a few years back, even though I am skeptical of the program. There were limited groups available to me. One was so large (200 plus) and another was the complete opposite, so small and with the few members having been in the group together for a long time.
I know I’ve rambled here, but really would like some guidance in terms of how to find a good fit with a counselor. Even links to a questionnaire would be helpful at this point.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Have you considered contacting your local Health Department
and /or AMA to see what is available in your area?
You might want to look around for a Greif counseling group too.
Sorry to know you have so many diffuclt problems
Welcome to our recovery community...
and /or AMA to see what is available in your area?
You might want to look around for a Greif counseling group too.
Sorry to know you have so many diffuclt problems
Welcome to our recovery community...
Member of SMART Recovery
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,722
Here is a link to a free online book about how to pick a therapist. This might be of some help to you: About How to Find a Good Therapist | How to Find a Good Therapist
As far as guidance for taking the Big Step: by Big Step, do you mean making the decision to quit drinking? I think that is what you mean but I'm not sure.
As far as guidance for taking the Big Step: by Big Step, do you mean making the decision to quit drinking? I think that is what you mean but I'm not sure.
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 604
Slim, you've come to the right place for support and guidance. I'm so sorry about the loss of your mother and the family issues. Sometimes life hands us too much at once. There are forums here about all different choices for recovery and people to help answer your questions. You can do it!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Hi Slimslim. Welcome to SR 
If you were not sure about AA or other treatments available to you locally have you considered/heard of AVRT? It is not meeting based. You can read the book Rational Recovery by Jack Trimpey, and participate in the threads here in the secular forum. There are also SMART meetings if you just wanted something secular but still meeting based.
Someone told me that there is no substitute for getting a counsellor who specializes in addiction. After one session with one last week I am beginning to suspect they were correct.
I also think it's really important that you are aware of the choices of different types of counselling out there, especially if you are paying for it privately. This may help: BACP Seeking a Therapist - Explanation of theoretical approaches.
Are you getting proper medical care too?
If you were not sure about AA or other treatments available to you locally have you considered/heard of AVRT? It is not meeting based. You can read the book Rational Recovery by Jack Trimpey, and participate in the threads here in the secular forum. There are also SMART meetings if you just wanted something secular but still meeting based.
Someone told me that there is no substitute for getting a counsellor who specializes in addiction. After one session with one last week I am beginning to suspect they were correct.
I also think it's really important that you are aware of the choices of different types of counselling out there, especially if you are paying for it privately. This may help: BACP Seeking a Therapist - Explanation of theoretical approaches.
Are you getting proper medical care too?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
welcome Slim
Some good links here for finding therapists - good luck!
If you feel that a recovery group might still be of benefit to you there's many different approaches and methods of recovery around too - here's some links to some of the main players (including but not limited to AA):
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach - like SMART, LifeRing etc or the approach Hypo mentioned above, Rational Recovery
D.
Some good links here for finding therapists - good luck!
If you feel that a recovery group might still be of benefit to you there's many different approaches and methods of recovery around too - here's some links to some of the main players (including but not limited to AA):
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach - like SMART, LifeRing etc or the approach Hypo mentioned above, Rational Recovery
D.
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