My first and last start to recovery. 26 days clean from Heroin
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: WA
Posts: 5
My first and last start to recovery. 26 days clean from Heroin
Hey all. New to the group!
The last 2 years I had been smoking heroin and developed an addiction both mental and physical. I'm not going to go in to the whole story about how I was lying and sneaking around my now ex-gf to get what I needed to not be dope sick but it definitely put enough strain on our relationship to be the final straw on the camel's back (it was a bad relationship and should have ended 4 years earlier lol). When I left her I no longer had her money to lean on and my job couldn't support my apartment, bills and habit any longer.
It took about 5 months to reach what I would call rock bottom from that point. I owed a couple of my co-workers money, spent money my mom had sent me for tuition for summer classes, pawned everything I could, took a draw on my paycheck. I was tapped out and knew it. Knew I wasn't getting any money or dope for another week yet I had to keep showing up to work. I told myself I had to keep up my image, pay my bills, keep my apartment, keep my job. That's what kept me from really getting down to it and quitting. I was feeling really down on myself and my situation when I stood in the restaurant alone at 2am with another hour of work left to close it up, already feeling the sickness come on and knowing I had to go to work the next day. This is where it all changed in a flash.
I don't know what prompted me to but I got online and started reading about quitting opiates and recovery and before you know it I was reading several recovery forums. There I started reading story after story. I probably read over a hundred of them. They gave me hope, strength and direction. I kept seeing things that were speaking to me loudly. Many people were commenting on others' stories saying things like "If you really want to quit and are serious about this then do what it takes to start your recovery. This will be the most important thing you ever do in your life. Work, school, whatever else can be put on hold until you fix yourself." So i decided then and there I was going to do what it took to beat this ****. I wrote and left a note in the kitchen where I worked explaining I had something to take care of and wouldn't be around for a while. After that I drove to my apartment and packed up all my stuff I wanted to keep and left another note for my roommate explaining I wouldn't be back (I had just paid that month's rent giving him a month to find a new roomie) then I hit the freeway for the 70mi drive to my parents house.
I got to my parents' house around 4am and when they let me in it seemed like they already knew what was going on. We all sat down and I told them what was going on with total honesty. I told them about the things in pawn (one being my mom's laptop she loaned me), told them about the tuition money I threw down the drain. They didn't care.. They were so happy their 25 year old baby boy finally was asking for help. They knew all along. Maybe I wasn't so good at lying hah.
The next night I was on my way to detox. Spent 6 days in there and had a bed for inpatient care lined up for this little recovery center in the woods. The first week sucked. I wanted to leave. I almost did leave when my insurance said they wouldn't pay more than 4 days of the 21 day program. I almost left but am glad I didn't because at that time my plan was to get out and use again "Just one last time". My parents picked up the tab; the money wasn't an issue to them. After the first week things got better but it was still boring. I asked to be moved in to the Tier 2 program and am so glad I did. I got so much out of our small 'accelerated' group and my new counselor. The last week I had a big **** eating grin on my face everyday. I was loving life again even though I was at a freakin inpatient program. It felt good!
Anyways, I'm home now. It hasn't even been 24 hours. I haven't had an urge to use in over 10 days and that's huge to me. I'm going to my first NA meeting tonight. We had 3 meetings a week at the recovery center and I thought they were just great! I didn't even know what AA/NA was before I started all this but know that it will be a significant part of my recovery.
Sorry for the long post but I just wanted to get my story out there and thank everyone here who talks. You might not know it but there may be someone out there lurking whose life you're about to change.
Addicts helping addicts. Isn't it amazing?
The last 2 years I had been smoking heroin and developed an addiction both mental and physical. I'm not going to go in to the whole story about how I was lying and sneaking around my now ex-gf to get what I needed to not be dope sick but it definitely put enough strain on our relationship to be the final straw on the camel's back (it was a bad relationship and should have ended 4 years earlier lol). When I left her I no longer had her money to lean on and my job couldn't support my apartment, bills and habit any longer.
It took about 5 months to reach what I would call rock bottom from that point. I owed a couple of my co-workers money, spent money my mom had sent me for tuition for summer classes, pawned everything I could, took a draw on my paycheck. I was tapped out and knew it. Knew I wasn't getting any money or dope for another week yet I had to keep showing up to work. I told myself I had to keep up my image, pay my bills, keep my apartment, keep my job. That's what kept me from really getting down to it and quitting. I was feeling really down on myself and my situation when I stood in the restaurant alone at 2am with another hour of work left to close it up, already feeling the sickness come on and knowing I had to go to work the next day. This is where it all changed in a flash.
I don't know what prompted me to but I got online and started reading about quitting opiates and recovery and before you know it I was reading several recovery forums. There I started reading story after story. I probably read over a hundred of them. They gave me hope, strength and direction. I kept seeing things that were speaking to me loudly. Many people were commenting on others' stories saying things like "If you really want to quit and are serious about this then do what it takes to start your recovery. This will be the most important thing you ever do in your life. Work, school, whatever else can be put on hold until you fix yourself." So i decided then and there I was going to do what it took to beat this ****. I wrote and left a note in the kitchen where I worked explaining I had something to take care of and wouldn't be around for a while. After that I drove to my apartment and packed up all my stuff I wanted to keep and left another note for my roommate explaining I wouldn't be back (I had just paid that month's rent giving him a month to find a new roomie) then I hit the freeway for the 70mi drive to my parents house.
I got to my parents' house around 4am and when they let me in it seemed like they already knew what was going on. We all sat down and I told them what was going on with total honesty. I told them about the things in pawn (one being my mom's laptop she loaned me), told them about the tuition money I threw down the drain. They didn't care.. They were so happy their 25 year old baby boy finally was asking for help. They knew all along. Maybe I wasn't so good at lying hah.
The next night I was on my way to detox. Spent 6 days in there and had a bed for inpatient care lined up for this little recovery center in the woods. The first week sucked. I wanted to leave. I almost did leave when my insurance said they wouldn't pay more than 4 days of the 21 day program. I almost left but am glad I didn't because at that time my plan was to get out and use again "Just one last time". My parents picked up the tab; the money wasn't an issue to them. After the first week things got better but it was still boring. I asked to be moved in to the Tier 2 program and am so glad I did. I got so much out of our small 'accelerated' group and my new counselor. The last week I had a big **** eating grin on my face everyday. I was loving life again even though I was at a freakin inpatient program. It felt good!
Anyways, I'm home now. It hasn't even been 24 hours. I haven't had an urge to use in over 10 days and that's huge to me. I'm going to my first NA meeting tonight. We had 3 meetings a week at the recovery center and I thought they were just great! I didn't even know what AA/NA was before I started all this but know that it will be a significant part of my recovery.
Sorry for the long post but I just wanted to get my story out there and thank everyone here who talks. You might not know it but there may be someone out there lurking whose life you're about to change.
Addicts helping addicts. Isn't it amazing?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 222
I'm so happy for you, so happy you made this decision and accepted to get some help.
I'm 28, so it's always very comforting and inspiring to read about other young people who decide to quit and change their lifestyle. It is really hard, but not feeling alone and reading other people stories helps a great deal.
Keep up the good work, and keep posting here if you feel like it!
I'm 28, so it's always very comforting and inspiring to read about other young people who decide to quit and change their lifestyle. It is really hard, but not feeling alone and reading other people stories helps a great deal.
Keep up the good work, and keep posting here if you feel like it!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
