9 Days Sober, Extremely Irritable.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 12
9 Days Sober, Extremely Irritable.
Good evening, folks! I have finally manned up and decided it was time to kick the habit. A little about myself: I am 26 years old, going back to college next month for software engineering, and feeling pretty good about my future for once.
Of course, since I'm on this forum, you can probably gather I have a problem as well. I often refer to it as my demon.
Anyway, 9 days ago, I decided I didn't want him anymore. It hasn't been easy, but if you're here, you already know that. I am feeling pretty good about my sobriety at this point, but there's one major issue: I feel MEAN.
Usually, I am a very patient man, but at work, I have had an extremely short fuse the past couple days. I am a manager in retail, and I get some real assholes, but I generally just brush them off. These past couple days, it has taken all my willpower to keep my mouth shut, but I've still been a little rude to these customers.
Have any of you experienced anything similar? I mean, I just feel the rage come up.
In addition, I have just felt... Off. I can't really describe it, but it's like sometimes I feel fantastic and think, "this is why I am sober now." Other times I feel hazy. Not quite disoriented, but almost like I am not completely inside my head.
Of course, since I'm on this forum, you can probably gather I have a problem as well. I often refer to it as my demon.
Anyway, 9 days ago, I decided I didn't want him anymore. It hasn't been easy, but if you're here, you already know that. I am feeling pretty good about my sobriety at this point, but there's one major issue: I feel MEAN.
Usually, I am a very patient man, but at work, I have had an extremely short fuse the past couple days. I am a manager in retail, and I get some real assholes, but I generally just brush them off. These past couple days, it has taken all my willpower to keep my mouth shut, but I've still been a little rude to these customers.
Have any of you experienced anything similar? I mean, I just feel the rage come up.
In addition, I have just felt... Off. I can't really describe it, but it's like sometimes I feel fantastic and think, "this is why I am sober now." Other times I feel hazy. Not quite disoriented, but almost like I am not completely inside my head.
Powerless over Alcohol
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
Posts: 4,018
Welcome 
I am sure other will be here about the anger issue. I never really had that, but the roller coaster of feeling great to fuzzy and confused oh yea had that many times. Just remember you didnt get here in 9 days, so it takes time for you body to learn all these new things.
Keep coming and posting.
I am sure other will be here about the anger issue. I never really had that, but the roller coaster of feeling great to fuzzy and confused oh yea had that many times. Just remember you didnt get here in 9 days, so it takes time for you body to learn all these new things.
Keep coming and posting.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Michigan
Posts: 81
Hello. 26/f here. I am a new recovering alcoholic who relapsed last weekend so is currently detoxing and feeling like poo AGAIN. Before then though I was at Day 14 and I had boughts of rage too. I hear it gets better after a month or two. I also had feeling of joy and couldnt believe how high on life that I felt, a few days later I would cry for no reason. I think I always try to remember that our bodies are working theirselves out again and it will take some time for everything to realign and for us to be our amazing selves. Good luck with your program.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,368
I think a lot of us have experience rage/anger in early recovery
I know I drunk away my emotions for so long they all came back in a rush - good ones as well as bad.
Knowing it was a natural part of withdrawal and early recovery helped - I was less likely to lash out knowing that I was on edge and that the way I was feeling often had very little to do with other people
It gets better
glad you've joined us AG
D
I know I drunk away my emotions for so long they all came back in a rush - good ones as well as bad.
Knowing it was a natural part of withdrawal and early recovery helped - I was less likely to lash out knowing that I was on edge and that the way I was feeling often had very little to do with other people
It gets better
glad you've joined us AG
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 6
Hello AngryGuy and welcome, as a fellow college student myself at age 23 and now 9 weeks sober I can tell you I experienced the exact same thing! I was angry at everyone and mad at the world but I can assure you this will pass, its just the body's way of dealing with the lack of alcohol. As well as the feeling off, I felt that as well, but again give it time and things will get better that I can promise you!
Welcome to the forum and hang in there!
Welcome to the forum and hang in there!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Welcome to SR Angryguy
I was really angry early on. I work in retail too and know exactly what you mean. But my work colleagues were the biggest problem for me. Everything would have been fine if everyone just did everything the way I wanted, haha. I had to learn to let it go. Clean up my side of the street. Every day was a victory for me if I managed to get through it without making my problems other peoples problems. If that makes any sense...
There are lots of other ups and downs early on. I liked to think of it as one extended hangover, the last I'd ever have to go through. Things do start getting better pretty quickly.
Glad you're here x
I was really angry early on. I work in retail too and know exactly what you mean. But my work colleagues were the biggest problem for me. Everything would have been fine if everyone just did everything the way I wanted, haha. I had to learn to let it go. Clean up my side of the street. Every day was a victory for me if I managed to get through it without making my problems other peoples problems. If that makes any sense...
There are lots of other ups and downs early on. I liked to think of it as one extended hangover, the last I'd ever have to go through. Things do start getting better pretty quickly.
Glad you're here x
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,960
I was mean. I was hurting. When I am mean, I want you to feel as bad as I. Then someone told me that anger was fear. Fear ruled my life. I worked the steps of AA to change me.
I'm not mean today (in my mind I am still mean at times, then I have to find out why I am feeling that way). Life is beautiful and I attempt to be useful to society. It's kind of a pay-back to my mean days, so today, I am happy and strive to make someone else's day a bit brighter.
I like today.
Things change a lot in the first year of sobriety. We're all a bit different, but the general patterns of healing are similar. You'll get through this!
Love,
I'm not mean today (in my mind I am still mean at times, then I have to find out why I am feeling that way). Life is beautiful and I attempt to be useful to society. It's kind of a pay-back to my mean days, so today, I am happy and strive to make someone else's day a bit brighter.
I like today.
Things change a lot in the first year of sobriety. We're all a bit different, but the general patterns of healing are similar. You'll get through this!
Love,
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
I think it's all part of the deal. I was raw for quite a few months. It does get better but it takes what it takes.
I formed the view that alcohol creates emotional states that our AV then tells us it is the only solution for.
I formed the view that alcohol creates emotional states that our AV then tells us it is the only solution for.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Southeast US
Posts: 332
I have been concerned that I would become angry during recovery and take that anger out on my wife. I hope that I can minimize those expressions of anger - - WHY ME?! - - when it comes to my dealings with her. She is undoubtedly the best thing that I have going for me. Part of the advice I've gotten from others here is to give yourself time - - a lot of time - - to heal. It will be helpful to remember that we did not get to where we now are in a few short days. It will take more than a few days to get to a more fully healthy place!
Best wishes,
~blue
Best wishes,
~blue
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
Congratulations on 9 days sober!
I was very angry in early recovery, too. I realized that most of my anger was really directed at myself for getting into this situation and for messing up my life. So, I had to learn to begin to forgive myself and to let go of the anger. But, early recovery is also a time of mood swings and as you said haziness. Try to remember that the emotions you're feeling are just emotions. They are not you and they don't control you.
I was very angry in early recovery, too. I realized that most of my anger was really directed at myself for getting into this situation and for messing up my life. So, I had to learn to begin to forgive myself and to let go of the anger. But, early recovery is also a time of mood swings and as you said haziness. Try to remember that the emotions you're feeling are just emotions. They are not you and they don't control you.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,234
Retail.....been there done that. And what a headache.
However, I was the floater who was assigned each
morning to a new department. Now that was fun
because I didnt have to stay put in one place and
get bored....lol Working retail and with the customers
wasnt as bad as being repremanded by the manager,
which happened quite often.
Seems that when I turned 18 and left my physical,
verbal, emotional childhood at the hand of a sick
mother, I swore I would never let anyone tell me
what to do again, especially her. Sooooo, like that
wish followed me thru out my entire life in which
drinking would numb those horrible pains and
resentments.
During my 21 yrs sobriety, i worked a grocery store
in customer service, bagging groceries, picking up
baskets and carryouts to the best of my ability.
Again, I was pushed to my limit with management
but loved all my customers. Using my recovery
program taught to me, I incorperated those tools
in my everyday affairs to keep me sober.
A few yrs ago, I worked in a bakery and loved it,
but the assistant manager was horrible. He used
his power to degrade me and others, making our
working atmosphere unbearable. Yet I endured
the tornment and abuse until I had had enough.
Today, im retired at 50ish and 21 yrs sober and
no more retail....lol
If they would have let me do my job which they
all knew i did well, except i didnt want to be told
what to do, then maybe id still be working.
I never could understand how many of the kids
could get away with anything, the slacker kind,
and here I was, very kind, intellegent, hard working,
a loved my customers always butted head with
management.
Working in a retail inviroment and drinking would
have killed me like a time bomb waiting to explode.
I think ive finally realized that that kind of work
was not good for my recovery, serenity and peace
of mind.
I want to remain happy joyous and free today which
is that importent to me.
And can be for you too.
However, I was the floater who was assigned each
morning to a new department. Now that was fun
because I didnt have to stay put in one place and
get bored....lol Working retail and with the customers
wasnt as bad as being repremanded by the manager,
which happened quite often.
Seems that when I turned 18 and left my physical,
verbal, emotional childhood at the hand of a sick
mother, I swore I would never let anyone tell me
what to do again, especially her. Sooooo, like that
wish followed me thru out my entire life in which
drinking would numb those horrible pains and
resentments.
During my 21 yrs sobriety, i worked a grocery store
in customer service, bagging groceries, picking up
baskets and carryouts to the best of my ability.
Again, I was pushed to my limit with management
but loved all my customers.
Using my recoveryprogram taught to me, I incorperated those tools
in my everyday affairs to keep me sober.
A few yrs ago, I worked in a bakery and loved it,
but the assistant manager was horrible. He used
his power to degrade me and others, making our
working atmosphere unbearable. Yet I endured
the tornment and abuse until I had had enough.
Today, im retired at 50ish and 21 yrs sober and
no more retail....lol
If they would have let me do my job which they
all knew i did well, except i didnt want to be told
what to do, then maybe id still be working.
I never could understand how many of the kids
could get away with anything, the slacker kind,
and here I was, very kind, intellegent, hard working,
a loved my customers always butted head with
management.
Working in a retail inviroment and drinking would
have killed me like a time bomb waiting to explode.
I think ive finally realized that that kind of work
was not good for my recovery, serenity and peace
of mind.
I want to remain happy joyous and free today which
is that importent to me.
And can be for you too.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Orange County, CA
Posts: 38
Welcome Angry Dude! As you can see none of us have any idea what you're talking about or experiencing....haha! All I can say is it's a good thing I haven't had access to grenades at certain times of my sobriety. My anger scared me because it manifested into rage at times. Things got broken and I would be physically injured usually. I love what Anna says in her post "Try to remember that the emotions you're feeling are just emotions. They are not you and they don't control you". I am programmed to react to my feelings and I find it very difficult not to at times. I try to remember to pause when those feelings come, acknowledge the anger or whatever emotion, and then try to understand what it is I'm afraid of and why. Glad you're here. Stay.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 12
Thanks for all the responses. Well, I can say it doesnt feel like I have anger resurfacing like a lot of you, but I just get upset at little things. Upset probably being an understatement.
I am actually looking to quit my job at the end of the August. Seven years was enough retail for me
I was just really curious to the degree of irritability, as I've read that was a side effect of going off the sauce. For me, that has been the biggest hurdle. It's nice to know I'm not the only one feeling like punching somebody in the face.
I've been drinking nearly every day for the past 5 years, and I was thinking yesterday on my ride home, "Well, you wanted to drink so much. This is what you get! Now pay your dues!". I'm definitely paying them now!
Sobriety is definitely going to be a change. Before I started drinking heavily, it was marijuana every day. This is probably the longest time I've been sober since I was 16.
I am actually looking to quit my job at the end of the August. Seven years was enough retail for me
I was just really curious to the degree of irritability, as I've read that was a side effect of going off the sauce. For me, that has been the biggest hurdle. It's nice to know I'm not the only one feeling like punching somebody in the face.
I've been drinking nearly every day for the past 5 years, and I was thinking yesterday on my ride home, "Well, you wanted to drink so much. This is what you get! Now pay your dues!". I'm definitely paying them now!
Sobriety is definitely going to be a change. Before I started drinking heavily, it was marijuana every day. This is probably the longest time I've been sober since I was 16.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 117
I am only 2 days sober now, and I too am feeling anxious and quite easily agitated--mostly at home in the evenings, which is where I used to drink. I expected this though as I know I have used alcohol to mask any and all of my uncomfortable feelings--this is the main reason why I drank for so long.
The past 2 days sober is like having to look straight into a mirror and deal precisely with exactly what's there emotionally--no "buzz buffer" to relax my mind, easy the tension from the workday and smooth things out like usual. Hard? Yes. I have managed not to take it out on anyone else yet...hopefully I can keep just riding the waves.
The past 2 days sober is like having to look straight into a mirror and deal precisely with exactly what's there emotionally--no "buzz buffer" to relax my mind, easy the tension from the workday and smooth things out like usual. Hard? Yes. I have managed not to take it out on anyone else yet...hopefully I can keep just riding the waves.
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