Secular Newcomers' Discussion Thread
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,359
No particular questions at the moment, although I'm sure many will come! I just wanted to say thank you for starting this thread OTT. I've been reading the forum, have read all of the AVRT discussion thread and... this will probably sound daft... I didn't feel like I had enough knowledge to post on it, it's very in depth and seems quite hardcore to a newcomer like me, I'm still waiting for my RR book so didn't want to dive in asking silly questions until I had more comprehension.
Super! I know where I can ask my 'silly' questions now
Super! I know where I can ask my 'silly' questions now
Member of SMART Recovery
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,722
Originally Posted by MyTimeNow 
No particular questions at the moment, although I'm sure many will come! I just wanted to say thank you for starting this thread OTT. I've been reading the forum, have read all of the AVRT discussion thread and... this will probably sound daft... I didn't feel like I had enough knowledge to post on it, it's very in depth and seems quite hardcore to a newcomer like me, I'm still waiting for my RR book so didn't want to dive in asking silly questions until I had more comprehension.
Super! I know where I can ask my 'silly' questions now
Super! I know where I can ask my 'silly' questions now
So, the idea here is to open up a discussion for people who are new to recovery or perhaps new to using a secular approach.
Personally, I'd love to know more about what's going on with you and if there's any way we can all support you!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 64
I am reading The Small Book and using my passion for Buddhism to get through this. I am only a week in this time but have tried countless times to quit alcohol in the past. I am finding that this forum, The Small Book and taking personal responsibility for my actions is working much better.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
I've heard it said that it is not the program that keeps us sober, but the quality, depth and sincerity of the commitment that makes it work. I think that accepting responsibility for our actions and dealing with the consequences is an important part of that decision.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 1,928
Originally Posted by freshstart57
I've heard it said that it is not the program that keeps us sober, but the quality, depth and sincerity of the commitment that makes it work. I think that accepting responsibility for our actions and dealing with the consequences is an important part of that decision.
Member of SMART Recovery
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,722
Originally Posted by Charon
Yep, I tried every thing - meds, counseling, RR, SMART, CBT, rehab, AA, and more - all multiple times over a lot of years. I finally got sick enough when I drank that I truely no longer wanted to use alcohol. Now I find it easy to continue to take Antabuse. No "program" other than some of the things I learned at Brattleboro Retreat and some of the common knowledge aspects. I didn't have a chance till I really, desperately wanted to quit.
One of the things that puzzles me is why one person will get to that decision after a few hard knocks, while another person never gets there, even after losing everything.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 1,928
Originally Posted by onlythetruth
One of the things that puzzles me is why one person will get to that decision after a few hard knocks, while another person never gets there, even after losing everything.
I kept drinking till I was forced to face the fact that if I drank even a sip I lost control of my drinking and the drinking would escalate till I made myself sick. I would feel ill for two or more days. That was reality and I couldn't deny it. I finally decided that drinking wasn't worth the after-effects. Now I take Antabuse so that even a sip would immediately make me deathly ill. I would need to stop taking it for 12 days in order to drink without the effect. It's a way for me short circuit the stupid urges and cravings. I won't say I'm not tempted at times but I have to remember the evidence - I simply cannot drink anymore without serious discomfort.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
I had a question OTT...Do you have to pay to go to SMART meetings?
I noticed that I couldn't buy any of their literature online but I can't really see why that would be the case unless you had to pay for meetings or a course or something. I was going to ring up the person who runs my nearest meeting and ask about it but it's a bit late over here now
I noticed that I couldn't buy any of their literature online but I can't really see why that would be the case unless you had to pay for meetings or a course or something. I was going to ring up the person who runs my nearest meeting and ask about it but it's a bit late over here now
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Hypochondriac, I hope that OTT will correct me as needed, but SMART meetings are free. Materials are available for purchase fromSMART Recovery Bookstore, Discover the Power of Choice!. There is also a recommended reading list at SMART RecoveryŽ - Recommended Reading List
There are free materials online too, but they take a bit of digging to find, and I am not talking about the peer to peer filesharing sites. I found this SMART affiliated site SMART New England - Tools that might be helpful to you.
There are free materials online too, but they take a bit of digging to find, and I am not talking about the peer to peer filesharing sites. I found this SMART affiliated site SMART New England - Tools that might be helpful to you.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,180
Originally Posted by freshstart57
I've heard it said that it is not the program that keeps us sober, but the quality, depth and sincerity of the commitment that makes it work. I think that accepting responsibility for our actions and dealing with the consequences is an important part of that decision.
I've read the RR book and now thinking of getting the Allen Carr book.Just wondered if anyone has read both.When I look on Amazon it comes up with'how to control alcohol' Not sure this is a good idea! I think I need the 'how to quit alcohol' one
thanks
JHE
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Amazon:The Easy Way to Stop Drinking, by Allen Carr.
Yep, I have read them both, and they are the mainstay in my library. I can pm you my other favourites if you like.
Yep, I have read them both, and they are the mainstay in my library. I can pm you my other favourites if you like.
Member of SMART Recovery
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,722
hypochondriac,
freshstart has it right--SMART meetings are free. A donation is suggested, but not required--in that respect it's the same deal as with 12 step programs. We pass the hat, that's it.
freshstart has it right--SMART meetings are free. A donation is suggested, but not required--in that respect it's the same deal as with 12 step programs. We pass the hat, that's it.
Member of SMART Recovery
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,722
Originally Posted by Charon
Me too. The only thing I can think of is being able to (being forced to) face reality as opposed to clinging to delusion. I was unfortunate to not have lost much while drinking. I ended up with a Masters degree, a career, home, tons of stuff, and a couple of really great kids. It was easy to delude myself into thinking I was OK, functional. It took physical illness to make me realize how bad alcohol was for me.
I kept drinking till I was forced to face the fact that if I drank even a sip I lost control of my drinking and the drinking would escalate till I made myself sick. I would feel ill for two or more days. That was reality and I couldn't deny it. I finally decided that drinking wasn't worth the after-effects. Now I take Antabuse so that even a sip would immediately make me deathly ill. I would need to stop taking it for 12 days in order to drink without the effect. It's a way for me short circuit the stupid urges and cravings. I won't say I'm not tempted at times but I have to remember the evidence - I simply cannot drink anymore without serious discomfort.
I kept drinking till I was forced to face the fact that if I drank even a sip I lost control of my drinking and the drinking would escalate till I made myself sick. I would feel ill for two or more days. That was reality and I couldn't deny it. I finally decided that drinking wasn't worth the after-effects. Now I take Antabuse so that even a sip would immediately make me deathly ill. I would need to stop taking it for 12 days in order to drink without the effect. It's a way for me short circuit the stupid urges and cravings. I won't say I'm not tempted at times but I have to remember the evidence - I simply cannot drink anymore without serious discomfort.
I was a lot like you in that I was actually quite successful for a long time while I was drinking. I got a professional degree and had a nice career going, got married and had two healthy kids. It all looked so perfect that it was easy to convince myself nothing was really wrong. Even when I lost my ability to work, I rationalized that I was just sacrificing my career to raise the kids.
In the end what got me was the shame. All those years (25 years) I flew under the radar and people didn't know I drank. But I got caught in a most embarrassing way. And that was what it took. Ha, maybe pride isn't such a bad thing after all, eh?
In any event I am glad you have found that the Antabuse is the ticket for you. A question: is this something you intend to do long-term?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,180
Originally Posted by freshstart57
Amazon:The Easy Way to Stop Drinking, by Allen Carr.
Yep, I have read them both, and they are the mainstay in my library. I can pm you my other favourites if you like.
Yep, I have read them both, and they are the mainstay in my library. I can pm you my other favourites if you like.
thanks
JHE
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: France
Posts: 783
Hello, I'm not really "new" in any way. I come and go when I feel the need for support, however it's true that I tend to "go" because the secular section isn't as active as the other sections, and for the same reasons as most of the others I do not cross over to the other side. I hope maybe this time there will me more action around here. I'll check in more often maybe...
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