When did you first realise you had a problem?
When did you first realise you had a problem?
I've spent some time trying to remember the first time I thought.... "Hey, dude.... you've got a drinking problem." I know it's not when I finally quit drinking because I was miserable at the end of my drinking and just drank through that misery to that point.
I'm not even sure now. I don't really remember the first real evident actions and feelings that should have told me. But I know at the end I had major alarm bells going off.
The Alarm bells below are what should have told I was really in MAJOR trouble.
But I can't remember the first time it was just "drinking" to where my whole mentality changed. I suspect it started by degrees. I justified it at first. I deserve this or something. But By the end all those things were just out there. I could not deny it anymore.
I'm not even sure now. I don't really remember the first real evident actions and feelings that should have told me. But I know at the end I had major alarm bells going off.
The Alarm bells below are what should have told I was really in MAJOR trouble.
- Arguing with myself in the parking lot of the liquor store about buying more booze and losing the argument.
- Planning more drinking around social drinking as I could not drink ENOUGH socially as it was embarrassing. People would see how much I pounded back hard alcohol. And this is with a family of Irish hard drinkers. We encouraged drinking and I thought even my level of drinking was nuts.
- Having to spend my morning cleaning up cans and bottles.
- Hiding empties before people came over and saw just how much I was drinking.
- Running up my credit cards while broke for more booze I could not afford.
- Showing up at things, like helping my brother in law lay a floor so hung over I was almost useless.
- Being hungover while babysitting a friends kid.
- Going to more than one store to get booze so they did not think I was chronic (Fail, they did)
- Giving up on my appearance.
- Screwing up my work
- Drinking in the morning
- Hiding booze from my girlfriend
- Drinking her booze at her place. (how anyone manages to keep booze in a house without drinking it is beyond me.)
- Looking forward to when I can drink alone. Preferring that to anything else.
- Looking in the mirror and hating myself?
- I have pains in my side. Why am I still drinking?
- Driving drunk
- Not remembering going to bed every night.
- Waking up feeling wretched every day.
- Knowing I was not capable of being in a healthy relationship.
- Not being able to workout. I'm always hung over.
- Realizing I was such a mess I could not work on large projects and for the good of others I should avoid them.
- Getting into irrational fights with my neighbour (though he was an @ss)
- The last most devastating one is. "Well. I'm a drunk maybe I should just keep going." Just give up on a meaningful life with a possibility of happiness.
But I can't remember the first time it was just "drinking" to where my whole mentality changed. I suspect it started by degrees. I justified it at first. I deserve this or something. But By the end all those things were just out there. I could not deny it anymore.
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Join Date: Jul 2012
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- Buying cans instead of bottles so the neighbours wouldn't hear the noise from the recycle bin.
- Running out of space in the recycle bin - it's 4 foot high.
- Still needing to drink after going to the pub.
- Drinking all day and not feeling drunk.
- Doing everyday things after drinking eg shopping etc.
- Thinking that because I've started I should continue until all alcohol is gone from the house.
After I'd been to the chemists and told the pharmacist "I want to make it quite clear I don't have a problem." (pause) "Why can't I stop drinking?"
Looking back, there were things I shouldn't have ignored (it seems), but did.
Drinking alone
Drinking in the morning
Only liking myself when I was buzzed
Telling myself that "I clearly can't quit, so I might as well just accept that and carry on."
Telling folks that "I can drink like nice people."
Wondering how people can sit in a pub with the same drink in front of them for half an hour.
Arguing (with myself) that 'Sitting alone in a pub at 11am would be sad.' And then buying a bottle to take home. (Not two, I could have got two for only slightly more, because 'You'll drink both of them')
Going to meet my friends in a pub before a party, seeing they weren't there and realising that if I stayed in the pub on my own, I wouldn't get to the party because I'd just keep drinking.
Looking back, there were things I shouldn't have ignored (it seems), but did.
Drinking alone
Drinking in the morning
Only liking myself when I was buzzed
Telling myself that "I clearly can't quit, so I might as well just accept that and carry on."
Telling folks that "I can drink like nice people."
Wondering how people can sit in a pub with the same drink in front of them for half an hour.
Arguing (with myself) that 'Sitting alone in a pub at 11am would be sad.' And then buying a bottle to take home. (Not two, I could have got two for only slightly more, because 'You'll drink both of them')
Going to meet my friends in a pub before a party, seeing they weren't there and realising that if I stayed in the pub on my own, I wouldn't get to the party because I'd just keep drinking.
I blacked out the first time I drank, so I have been an alcoholic since the very first drink. It must have been when I 12. I snuck behind my parents bar and started sipping on Amaretto. I then had to go to gymnastics, and I remember falling off the beam, but nothing else.
I quit drinking after the last time I had a blackout, I was 41. That is a long time of drinking and a long time of hurts.
I quit drinking after the last time I had a blackout, I was 41. That is a long time of drinking and a long time of hurts.
When pulling up to the bottle return place with a car full of empties counted as a good deed. The homeless people were going to have a good day since I couldn't be bother to redeem the bottles myself :p
In retrospect I think I must have known all along, but just chose to ignore it
The first time I drank I stole some beer and hid it (aged 12).
I used to steal bits of alcohol from my parents drinks cabinet and hide it under my bed.
Every time I went out I always ended up so much drunker than all my friends until an embarrassing incident aged 17 and I started being really careful.
After college I noticed that most people didn't drink like me so I started to hide it.
Having 2 bottles of gin, one which I kept under the sink to top the other one up so that people who came round regularly didn't notice how quickly I got through it.
Preferring to drink alone so that I could drink properly.
I actually stopped recycling because I couldn't bare to face the empties.
Limiting the amount of booze I would buy because I knew that if I had it in I would drink it all.
After months of really bizarre migraines I finally got some medication on prescription. When I picked it up from the pharmacist I asked if I could drink on these...The pharmacist looked really confused and said she couldn't understand why I'd want to.
After being told by a medical professional that I should stop drinking entirely, I continued to drink for months (maybe it was a year...)
I'm sure I could think of more signs...
The first time I drank I stole some beer and hid it (aged 12).
I used to steal bits of alcohol from my parents drinks cabinet and hide it under my bed.
Every time I went out I always ended up so much drunker than all my friends until an embarrassing incident aged 17 and I started being really careful.
After college I noticed that most people didn't drink like me so I started to hide it.
Having 2 bottles of gin, one which I kept under the sink to top the other one up so that people who came round regularly didn't notice how quickly I got through it.
Preferring to drink alone so that I could drink properly.
I actually stopped recycling because I couldn't bare to face the empties.
Limiting the amount of booze I would buy because I knew that if I had it in I would drink it all.
After months of really bizarre migraines I finally got some medication on prescription. When I picked it up from the pharmacist I asked if I could drink on these...The pharmacist looked really confused and said she couldn't understand why I'd want to.
After being told by a medical professional that I should stop drinking entirely, I continued to drink for months (maybe it was a year...)
I'm sure I could think of more signs...
1. When I couldn't get out of bed in the morning without having a shot or two first to stop the sweats and the shakes. I might throw them right back up but kept trying until they stayed down.
2. When I became virtually housebound because I was so out of it I couldn't drive or go anywhere.
3. When my oldest son told me he was ashamed of me.
4. When I continually injured myself (sometimes badly) from falling down stairs, walking into furniture, almost falling through a plate glass window ...
5. When I couldn't get drunk anymore but couldn't get sober either ... life was just a strange, unreal fog ...
6. When my liver and kidneys started to hurt ...
7. When I got the dry heaves every morning ...
8. When I had to cancel important meetings, events, etc. because I was either hungover, withdrawing, or still drunk from the night before.
9. When I realized that, since my husband is also an active alcoholic, my kids basically had no parents to look out for them.
10. When I realized that my life was going to consist of the couch and the TV for the rest of whatever days I had left if I continued on that path.
Life is so much better sober. Life as a drunk is really no life at all.
2. When I became virtually housebound because I was so out of it I couldn't drive or go anywhere.
3. When my oldest son told me he was ashamed of me.
4. When I continually injured myself (sometimes badly) from falling down stairs, walking into furniture, almost falling through a plate glass window ...
5. When I couldn't get drunk anymore but couldn't get sober either ... life was just a strange, unreal fog ...
6. When my liver and kidneys started to hurt ...
7. When I got the dry heaves every morning ...
8. When I had to cancel important meetings, events, etc. because I was either hungover, withdrawing, or still drunk from the night before.
9. When I realized that, since my husband is also an active alcoholic, my kids basically had no parents to look out for them.
10. When I realized that my life was going to consist of the couch and the TV for the rest of whatever days I had left if I continued on that path.
Life is so much better sober. Life as a drunk is really no life at all.
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