Missy7

I'm here again after thinking I had things under control. Guess how that turns out? So I'm posting because it's how I keep myself honest--when I'm being honest.

I know that alcohol allows me to avoid reality. When things get too hard, all kinds of things, alcohol puts it all on hold. Nothing gets better but it does take a back seat.

Once a person recognizes that this doesn't work, how does she put it all on hold once in a while? Coping mechanisms?

JackNWA

For me, it was involvement in the 12 Steps of AA that helped me.

bbthumper

I too have found lasting, enjoyable sobriety through AA and the 12 steps. I no longer find it necessary to have things put "on hold." I am able to live my life as it comes and not be overwhelmed. If it is possible for me and counltess others, it is possible for you. We can get to a point where life is something to enjoy rather than to cope with.

Good luck to you!

Anna

There are a variety of things I do.

Long walks help to clear my head and make me feel better.

Meditation works well.

Music has always been a saviour for me.

SSIL75

I had to realize that sober life would be more fulfilling than drinking life. More fulfilling, more fun, more relaxing, more everything.

doggonecarl

Forgive me for not quite understanding. What do you want to put on hold? Those "things" that get too hard? Reality?

For me, coping meant NOT putting reality on hold. I had to learn to deal with the things that always used to make me drink. And now that I've been sober almost two years, the things that I thought were soooo tough, were a lot less tough than what a lot of people deal with. And deal with them without diving in a bottle.

I cope by facing my tough times, my shame, my guilt, my discomfort, my embarrassment, my inclination to drink to escape.

mecanix

When i have done all that can be done in the day i find solace in music, books and art anything that gets me out of myself, i think some people even get it from excersise !

2granddaughters

Please Google and read AA's "The Doctors Opinion", "How It Works" and "The Promises of Alcoholics Anonymous".

You will hear people here that have some period of sobriety without AA and others that just couldn't do it without AA.

Which type of Alcoholic are you ??

Once you have made that decision the rest will fall into place.

All the best.

Bob R

instant

Hi Missy. Glad you are back. In my experience of drinking and now having had some sobriety I am of the view that alcohol diminishes our resilience and makes us more prone to experience higher levels of stress in response to problems.

Getting the system back in balance does take time. Major changes occurred over six months.

The other thing that has helped me is to commit to not running from pain. It is not easy but it works.

Stevie1

Someone in AA shared this with me...I think it's pretty cool.
FEAR = **** Everything And Run...or...Face Everything And Recover
First one is the easy way out (drinking) and ultimately not only solves nothing, but creates even more problems.
Clearly the second option is better. And harder, but worth it.

Starting this coming Thursday, I'm going to learn transcendental meditation (from my addiction-specialist counselor, who I like a great deal. Which is something, because I am very hard on therapists and kick them to the curb in a heartbeat.) Google TM...not a panacea, but another tool in the tool box.

Exercise! Yes. Now that I'm not waking up with dire hangovers every day, I am walking my dogs and loving mornings before work.

Urge Surfing. Works for me.

There are a lot of tools out there...you just have to find what works, and USE them. What I'm finding, life can suck, yes. But drinking in response to sucky things happening in life really, really, really does not work out well, ultimately.

IndaMiricale

Welcome back Missy,

First for me in the use of AA. I come from the old school thought where I use meetings as 1/2 , and the 12 steps in my life . For me the two both have to be in play for me to be at the place where I can continue to grow in the journey.

I also do those other things that do the body good, I love long walk with or with out the dogs. Especially at night when its just so peaceful. I go to the library and gym, pool, hot tub, sauna very often to just meditate.

Keep your mind open and remain teachable , you will find your peace also.

Zebra1275

When I got sick and tired of being sick and tired I finally gave up and tried AA. That, along with this website has really helped.

Dee74

Welcome back Missy

Like others have said, I had to face reality to recover.

I found I was a lot more capable & resilient than I thought I was...I was scared of a lot of situations because I'd never really faced them...the fear turned out to be greater than the events themselves....

The less need I have to run away the less need I have to drink.

That doesn't mean I need to live my life in pain or stressed out.

I had to look at my expectations of myself - were they realistic? was I doing too much - was I doing other peoples work too? did I delegate sensibly?

I also had to look at the ways I relaxed and managed my stress. I had no stress management at all beyond knocking myself out.

Exercise has been good for me, walking, hobbies...as well as learning to take breaks when I need them

and support is vital. Noone can do this on their own IMO...having a support network, and learning to reach out, before I got in trouble, was probably the most valuable thing I've learned in my recovery.

D

CaiHong

Hi Missy
Welcome back. I really understand that putting things on hold. A few times I thought about getting wasted just to stop my mind from endlessly ticking over, a sort of holiday from the mind for awhile. That option is not open to me as an alcoholic and I am so glad I haven't succumbed to that AV.
I don't distract myself as much from these feelings as before but try to observe them without becoming them, swallowed up in them and they seem to dissipate or at least the intensity.
Glad you are back.
Love
CaiHong

Ranger

Great question, MI7. Have you considered or previously worked with an addiction counselor? Only you can say 'no' to that first drink. But, a good AC can help you with the mechanisms you desire and are missing like so many of us "lifetime" addicts.

And your reappearance here was a bright spot in a otherwise blah day.

SSIL75

Acceptance, Missy. I continue to her the feeling that you just can't accept that you're a typical alcoholic.

You may find that depressing or upsetting but really for me it was the golden ticket.

navy0923

My main inspiration comes from my children, they are everything to me. After that I look at myself. I have been in the military for 21 years, I knew I needed to be a better leader and role model. Lastly getting sober has allowed me to repair the mental and physical damage I did to myself, that is something that really motivated me.

mirage

Welcome back, Missy.

Missy7

Thanks guys. SSIL75, I have no problem admitting that I'm a typical alcoholic. I'm a genetic alcoholic and this is my inheritance. I know that if I have one single drink I am off to the races. But I'm pretty high functioning and can juggle. So I sometimes imagine I can handle it all.

Never a single question about whether I'm an alcoholic.

Thanks guys. Especially Dee, Anna and Ranger, who keep talking to me even if they shouldn't.

It's the evening of an awful Day One and I'm starting to cool off. Not shaking. About to eat dinner and try to make it up to my husband--again.

Dee74

I'm not sure why you feel we shouldn't talk to you
it took me 15 years to accept - really accept - what I needed to do.

D