SSIL75

Hello

I have been sober from alcohol for almost 2 years now. I have no urges. I just don't drink. It's been an emotional journey but a great one. Challenging but rewarding. Just simply 'right'.

Earlier this year I had my second back problem (I had surgery some years ago for the same problem). This time it's much more complicated and recovery has been very difficult. I had surgery again. I have small children and no local family. It's terrible. So began treatment with oxycodone. I've always 'liked' pills but they were not my DOC.

It became obvious to me that I was beginning to abuse them. I was isolating. Counting down to the time when me and my pills could go to bed and I could bask in their oblivion, alone. Pill counting, hoarding.

So I flushed what I had left and carried on with my life. Only now I'm in terrible pain with no way to control it. I felt so disheartened because I'm STILL isolating. Still counting down to when I can go to bed and let sleep wash away the pain. To an outsider I was a lot more functional ON the pills because at least I could move around without pain.

But then just a few days ago. Some hope.

I was lying in bed and reading a blog. (memoires of a heroinhead if anyone is familiar). I read something that gave me chills and I GOT UP out of bed to share it with my husband.



I know it's a little thing. But for me it's hope. I'm coming 'back'. Just that little connection. That my first urge was to share with someone instead of staying in my zone.

Thanks for listening.

aeo1313

I am so sorry to hear of the pain you are experiencing.

Isn't it a neat feeling to know you are coming "back"? Thanks so much for sharing this.

Dee74

I'm sorry you've been suffering....back pain is pretty hard to endure.
I hope you find some solutions there.

I'm thrilled you're 'coming back' though

thanks for your post SSIL75
D

Scolova

Congrats on staying sober, I deal with back pain every couple of years or so, but thankfully not chronic pain. Best wishes.

Anna

I'm really sorry that you're struggling with your back pain.

I don't have any advice, though I do believe us addicts should be able to use pain pills when they are necessary. I don't think we should be asked to suffer more than others. Do you have a Pain Clinic in your city?

SSIL75

I am going to ask for a pain mgt referral on Monday. Thankfully I am recovering. It is just VERY slow.

artsoul

I hope you find the help you need - that has to be really hard. I have acute episodes once or twice a year and know how bad that kind of pain can be.

I commend you for not giving in to the pain meds - it's great that you have to tools and experience of sobriety, but still, that's pretty amazing considering what you're going through.