MetalChick

I am 6 weeks sober this weekend, and I am realizing that in order to stay that way I need to start dealing with the reasons I started drinking. Of course there were the regular things like partying, boredom, etc…. but the major reason I developed a drinking dependence was anxiety and fear of panic attacks. I remember drinking beer before l went to school to stop anxiety in high school and while getting my A.S. degree in college. I would get older friends to buy or steal my pop’s beer. A few times I even ran out on jobs because of a panic attacks. Of course I progressed into drinking for more and more reasons, but in the end drinking made the anxiety worse and my job performance sub-par. My problem is that I have no health insurance. I am a student (online for my B.S.) and I can’t get to a doctor or pay for any treatment. I am still not going to drink, but it sucks that heath care access is so crappy, and when you want help you just can’t get it. It seems like you really have to have money to get help in the USA, and rehab and mental health are big business. I even bet they are glad about how many alcoholics/addicts there are, because it means more money for them. I guess I am just going to have to tough this one out. I can see why so many people self medicate when help is few and far between.

sugarbear1

have you considered AA? It's free.

MetalChick

Yes, I go to AA, but I look at AA as more of a support group to have sober friends. I don't go there for treatment for anxiety. Anxiety and depression too, precede my alcoholism. I am also doing that AVRT thing for the drinking addiction.

sugarbear1

The group support is nice, but if you want to have a change in you, maybe find someone to help you work the steps. They changed me and I lost my anxiety after I worked through them. Just a thought.

MsJax

Hi MetalChick I too deal with anxiety & depression, have since I was very young. The horrible "waiting for the other shoe to drop", all that crap. Being down in the spiral of darkness. I've been sober about 16 months now & finally this past May sought professional help for my issues. I am self-employed & thankfully have my own ridiculously expensive insurance but I know in my search for a therapist there seem to be many (including my own) that will work with you on a sliding scale. Maybe do an extensive search in your area of counselors who will do this? There were even some that would barter their services for yours.... Anxiety & depression: what a struggle, and not a good combo Best wishes to you.

MetalChick

Thank you, Msjax, I will give that a try. I called this one county clinic, and you have to be pretty much homeless and schizophrenic to get low cost to free treatment. But I will call around more. I am graduating very soon, and will be looking for work, so I really need to get this under control. I just don't want this interfering with my sobriety, and I know treatment would be useless if I am drinking.

Anna

I also drank to self-medicate anxiety and depression. I did have to get the depression treated and I use medication for that. However, with the anxiety (and full-out panic attacks I get sometimes) I have learned to manage. There are many really helpful books on the subject of dealing with anxiety/panic attacks without medication. For example, there are simple breathing techniques that work well. Meditation is also very helpful.

Forward12

There are options out there, but it does take some legwork on your end. I was in a similar situation trying to find care forever, but first call your local county health department, they will let you know the options they provide. Most do have a program and if you are a student and depending on your income you shouldn't have a problem getting on their plan.
Otherwise contact local churches or salvation army, both can lead you in the right direction as well.

stugotz

For me, getting Sober ruined a perfectly good case of depression and anxiety. Just sayin...

willquit

Metal Chick, I have no answers but wanted to give you a ((((hug)))). Have you checked student services or talked to the counselors at your school.

tomsteve

one thing i learned in AA is that goin to meetings and not drinking doesnt treat alcoholism. there is footwork, which is layed out in the BB. it taught me that the anxiety i would experience was one of the faces of fear and why i would get it.

i am sure you have heard at meetings that out primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics recover from alcoholism. i sure hope you can change yer motive for goin.

ZiggyB

Sorry to hear about your plight...

If you can find a free or low cost clinic that would be a great option, if you are a student or on limited income you should be able to find something. There are also ways you can help yourself including exercise, meditation and self help books to name a few. You could try some herbal medications like St. John's Wort, it might be worth trying. But yeah, sobriety will no doubt be very helpful for both the depression and the anxiety. It's weird that we self medicate with booze for both of these conditions but they definitely end up making things worse in the end, I hope you can keep that in mind. Best of luck to you.

hypochondriac

I can understand where you're at Metalchick. Even though we have free healthcare here in the UK it is not always possible to get help. I certainly started drinking because of anxiety but eventually alcohol gave me the worst anxiety imaginable. It was a bad form of self medication. Because I haven't been able to get counselling on the NHS I have used a lot of self help books on things like CBT to help with my anxiety. They have been invaluable to me. I could get all indignant about all the healthcare that should be available to everyone, but that is one thing I have no control over and I don't want it to effect my sobriety. I have to put more work into my panic attacks and general anxiety than I do on simply not drinking, fortunately I think these are common problems and there are tons of books on how to help control them. I'm just grateful I don't have that blind panic anxiety I used to have when I was drinking anymore

I hope you find the help you need x

Zee

I've been refered by my doctor regarding my Anxiety. I'm coming up on 11 months sober now, and I'm finding my anxiety is hindering the enjoyment of being sober! I'm taking anti nausia drugs which they use for chemo patients, I feel sick and nervy alot of the time. I've asked him not to put me on anti-depressents, and he probably won't for now because of my liver. I've been waiting for 2 weeks so far for an appointment, but its free, so I don't mind waiting. I'm just wondering what they can do. Miracles, I hope.

Hypochondriac - Bursting into tears at the doctors worked for me getting referred to Mental Therapy dept. I am starting to get to the end of my rope.

Dee74

There are an increasing number of free or low cost clinics in the US MC...I hope you can find one on the list...it might be a start

Free/Low-Cost/Sliding-Scale Clinics

D

Hollyanne

I would be careful what I wished for.
The most common response to any new patient, is to write a prescription for xanax or ativan. "A pint in a pill" as they are known around these parts.
Bad idea for most alcoholics.
Some antidepressants are good for anxiety but if you can get a handle on it by counselling and CBT etc, it is better longterm.
I get all wrapped up in awfulizing but, am getting better at managing it.
I was diagnosed with major depression and PTSD from childhood trauma.
I had a resentment toward the medication (antidepressants) because I felt I was being medicated because of other people's bad behaviour!
Get help, but be careful. Consider your treatment very carefully.
Do a bit of AA stuff in the meantime. Do the steps with a trusted sponsor. Preferably someone not against outside help.
The thing I found is that getting sober gets us to the point where we can process our feelings, memories, past etc in a healthier way. We have to be well enough though to do this.
Some of it is painful.
Take your time.
Everyone is different.
I wish you well Metalchick.

Hollyanne

My path was this.
Drinking for fun.
Drinking for effect.
Counselling
Drinking and antidepressants.
Put on weight, was calm but not by any means joyful.
Gave up drink.
Gave up antidepressants.
Back drinking worse than before.
Counselling while drinking.
Antidepressants and drinking.
Changed antidepressants and found marvelous combo.
Stopped drinking. (AA and antidepressants and prayer?)
A year or so sober, gave up antidepressants.
Went on nosedive with stress, anxiety, depression, mad as a March hare type stuff.
Managed to not drink with AA, great sponsor, prayer, determination and more prayer.
Now, sober (ish) and getting better.
About 16 years worth of trial and error.
Lesson learned; whatever else you do, DON'T DRINK!

NewBeginning010

I relate to your story, I also drank to relieve anxiety and panic attacks... as you mentioned they only get worse as time goes on.

Outside of seeing a theripist or doctor (highly recommended btw :-) the three free things that helped my anxiety the most after actually quitting drinking were:

1) Exercise - It doesnt have to be a long run, just a brisk walk for 30 plus minutes. An active activity is best... I am now addicted to playing tennis haha

2) Meditation - There are many forms of meditation & calming music/sounds (crashing waves etc.) that can help you in so many ways.... not just relaxation. doing a search on meditation techniques will reveal many results, you just have to find one that works for you.

3) Living in the present moment/now. This has been a revelation for me. I was so used to living & worrying about the past/future that I never really lived in the only moment we have.... Now. There are many good books to get you started on this way of living. I would recommend Eckhart tolles - The Power of Now to get you started. Here is one of his older videos
Eckhart Tolle - Finding Your Life's Purpose on Vimeo

Take care & keep posting.. we understand

Cheers ~ NB

RevivingOphelia

I'm sorry you are experiencing the tragic effects of the USA's abysmal health care system, Metal Chick.



I hope you will find some avenue that can help you.

MetalChick

Thank you for all your great advice and understanding. I will call around everywhere and be as forceful as I can about getting treatment, I will also be careful about the treatment I get, and I will try exercising, meditating, reading books (I already have a CD about dealing with panic and a meditation CD) as well as working more with AA. I am able and willing to do what it takes to become a well person, and non drinker for life.Trust me too, I am not going to take Xanax.

I just know that if my mental issues that I had long before I was an alcoholic go untreated that I am likely to relapse, and I am going to do everything in my power to stay sober. This is my first time quitting, and I want to make it my last.

I also understand that if I do not work a program and follow through with the footwork I will probably relapse, so that is a priority as well.

At least I am not experiencing the anxiety that comes from a bender

Thanks again guys.

and...

Thanks RevivingOphelia, it is pretty bad.