Frustrated with my family
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Toledo, OH
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Frustrated with my family
My sister (20 yrs old) just got out of rehab less than 2 weeks ago for percocets, xanax, and marijuana and she is now on suboxone, a mood disorder med, and sleeping pills which she claims "****s her up". What I'm so irritated with is she is acting the same way as she did using illegally. If you were serious about your sobriety why would you be bragging about all the pills you're on and how they mess you up? She puts all her business on Facebook so I had to un-friend her because it would irritate me seeing all of the personal business she would write about yet would tell people to mind their own business when they had their own opinion about it.
My parents are divorced and my dad is always giving her money (he's an alcoholic) and my mom would as well. She provided a car for my sister which she totalled and then a month later totalled again after they replaced it with a newer car! My mom paid for her whole college tuition which she hasn't done anything with the degree she received. They pay for any medical bills she has and always do everything for her instead of making her figure it out on her own. She is now taking my sister to IOP three nights a week and stays there until it's over which they are 3 hr long meetings. She also is paying for her suboxone which is $105 for just 5 pills and she is on 2 pills a day.
I'm not an addict or alcoholic. I'm 22 years old and when I was 18 I got pregnant with my first boy and had a second boy in February this year. I bought my own car and I lost my job before I started college but got $600/mo. in unemployment. I had to give my parents $300/mo. (half my income) to help pay for school while I still bought my own groceries, had car insurance, etc. I was never allowed to drive their car (the one my sister wrecked twice) even though I have a perfect driving record. I've paid for all my hospital bills and medications on my own. Well my baby was born 8 weeks early while I was still in nursing school but I went to clinicals the day after I got discharged from the hospital and juggled school, a toddler, and visiting my baby in the NICU and I graduated and even passed the HESI, a test only 25% of my class passed!!!!!
What I don't understand is why does my mom do soooooo much for my sister yet makes me feel like I'm never going to be good enough for her?! I don't even mind having to pay for everything myself, I understand I'm an adult and that's my responsibility but when I see all that they are doing for my sister it makes me sooooo angry. She gets praised for going to rehab but what about me, I've been drug free for years, it's not like I get any recognition for that! My parents are co-dependents and it drives me crazy! I would like some recognition for all I've accomplished because I'm so proud of myself yet it seems to never be enough. My sister doesn't do drugs for a day and they praise her yet take no notice of all I've accomplished. I know my mom blames herself for my sister being an addict which is absolutely ridiculous but I still don't understand why she is constantly making me struggle and fixes all my sister's problems for her so she never has to work hard for anything in life.
I don't dislike my sister just because my parents favor her, she has said so many hurtful things to me before and after rehab and I just want her to stop putting me down to make herself feel better. That's how I know these drugs are not solving the problem, she is treating me the same way she did before rehab. She expects everyone to just forgive her and move on just like that but it's going to take a long time for everyone to gain her trust back and even though my parents are quick to forgive her it's going to take longer for me to. I've been through this before my boyfriend/father of my kids is an addict and he got help and went to rehab but relapsed. Now he is on methadone maitenance which I like much less than suboxone but I'm glad he hasn't relapsed since being on methadone. He's done a lot of things to me in the beginning of our relationship but 4 years and 2 kids later I completely forgave him and whenever that stuff gets brought up it doesn't bother me at all!! He is an amazing father and I know the man he was then is not the man he is today. I want that for my sister.
Just had to vent, I've tried explaining this to my mom but she doesn't see my point of view she just shuts down and says "end of conversation" so I'd like some feedback so I can continue on the conversation and maybe someday just accept that this is the way it is.
My parents are divorced and my dad is always giving her money (he's an alcoholic) and my mom would as well. She provided a car for my sister which she totalled and then a month later totalled again after they replaced it with a newer car! My mom paid for her whole college tuition which she hasn't done anything with the degree she received. They pay for any medical bills she has and always do everything for her instead of making her figure it out on her own. She is now taking my sister to IOP three nights a week and stays there until it's over which they are 3 hr long meetings. She also is paying for her suboxone which is $105 for just 5 pills and she is on 2 pills a day.
I'm not an addict or alcoholic. I'm 22 years old and when I was 18 I got pregnant with my first boy and had a second boy in February this year. I bought my own car and I lost my job before I started college but got $600/mo. in unemployment. I had to give my parents $300/mo. (half my income) to help pay for school while I still bought my own groceries, had car insurance, etc. I was never allowed to drive their car (the one my sister wrecked twice) even though I have a perfect driving record. I've paid for all my hospital bills and medications on my own. Well my baby was born 8 weeks early while I was still in nursing school but I went to clinicals the day after I got discharged from the hospital and juggled school, a toddler, and visiting my baby in the NICU and I graduated and even passed the HESI, a test only 25% of my class passed!!!!!
What I don't understand is why does my mom do soooooo much for my sister yet makes me feel like I'm never going to be good enough for her?! I don't even mind having to pay for everything myself, I understand I'm an adult and that's my responsibility but when I see all that they are doing for my sister it makes me sooooo angry. She gets praised for going to rehab but what about me, I've been drug free for years, it's not like I get any recognition for that! My parents are co-dependents and it drives me crazy! I would like some recognition for all I've accomplished because I'm so proud of myself yet it seems to never be enough. My sister doesn't do drugs for a day and they praise her yet take no notice of all I've accomplished. I know my mom blames herself for my sister being an addict which is absolutely ridiculous but I still don't understand why she is constantly making me struggle and fixes all my sister's problems for her so she never has to work hard for anything in life.
I don't dislike my sister just because my parents favor her, she has said so many hurtful things to me before and after rehab and I just want her to stop putting me down to make herself feel better. That's how I know these drugs are not solving the problem, she is treating me the same way she did before rehab. She expects everyone to just forgive her and move on just like that but it's going to take a long time for everyone to gain her trust back and even though my parents are quick to forgive her it's going to take longer for me to. I've been through this before my boyfriend/father of my kids is an addict and he got help and went to rehab but relapsed. Now he is on methadone maitenance which I like much less than suboxone but I'm glad he hasn't relapsed since being on methadone. He's done a lot of things to me in the beginning of our relationship but 4 years and 2 kids later I completely forgave him and whenever that stuff gets brought up it doesn't bother me at all!! He is an amazing father and I know the man he was then is not the man he is today. I want that for my sister.
Just had to vent, I've tried explaining this to my mom but she doesn't see my point of view she just shuts down and says "end of conversation" so I'd like some feedback so I can continue on the conversation and maybe someday just accept that this is the way it is.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 598
I want to commend you for being and acting like the adult that you are. You have pulled yourself up and out of what could have been many bad turn of events for yourself. I know you resent that your sister seems to be getting a lot given to her she doesn't deserve and didn't earn. You, though, are in a much better place than she is. Try to hang on to that piece of the truth about your life. Would you trade your life for hers right now? Your parents are not doing your sister any favors. It would be better if they treated her like they treat you. You really are in a better place than she is. Relish it. You did it yourself and that's something to be proud of.
As far as your sister, make sure you don't enable her in any way. You are the only person you can impact. Do each day what you can do to relate to your sister in a healthy way.
Your parents may come around eventually. It took seven months with my RAS living at home with his father and me for us to call "time out". We came around, established boundaries, and he's now living on his own and seems to be doing very well.
As far as your sister, make sure you don't enable her in any way. You are the only person you can impact. Do each day what you can do to relate to your sister in a healthy way.
Your parents may come around eventually. It took seven months with my RAS living at home with his father and me for us to call "time out". We came around, established boundaries, and he's now living on his own and seems to be doing very well.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: In a better place
Posts: 282
Congratulations on your impressive accomplishments, in school and out of school! You are obviously very competent and have dealt with some serious problems in our life, not the least of which was having two children with an addict.
You're a mother now, and on track to becoming a health care professional, so getting some help for yourself sorting through all the painful issues connected with your family of origin would be a good start to an amazing life. Alanon and Naranon meetings are great places (if you haven't been already), and individual counseling can help, too. If you're in nursing school, there may be school-related counseling services you can look into.
It is always painful and confusing when parents seem to "favor" one child over another, but it is not all that uncommon. Separating yourself, physically and emotionally, from your parents' problems and your sister's problems, can give you the breathing room you need to grow. Attending support meetings can give you the tools and inspiration to do that.
Your sister sounds immature for a 21-year-old, addict or not, but her problems are hers to own. Anyone who treats you poorly, whether that's a family member or a stranger, is someone you need to distance yourself from as much as possible.
I'm sorry your parents don't seem to acknowledge your accomplishments and that your sister behaves like an adolescent. But you sound strong, intelligent and insightful, and that's really what counts.
Blessings to you.
You're a mother now, and on track to becoming a health care professional, so getting some help for yourself sorting through all the painful issues connected with your family of origin would be a good start to an amazing life. Alanon and Naranon meetings are great places (if you haven't been already), and individual counseling can help, too. If you're in nursing school, there may be school-related counseling services you can look into.
It is always painful and confusing when parents seem to "favor" one child over another, but it is not all that uncommon. Separating yourself, physically and emotionally, from your parents' problems and your sister's problems, can give you the breathing room you need to grow. Attending support meetings can give you the tools and inspiration to do that.
Your sister sounds immature for a 21-year-old, addict or not, but her problems are hers to own. Anyone who treats you poorly, whether that's a family member or a stranger, is someone you need to distance yourself from as much as possible.
I'm sorry your parents don't seem to acknowledge your accomplishments and that your sister behaves like an adolescent. But you sound strong, intelligent and insightful, and that's really what counts.
Blessings to you.
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 326
You are luckier than your sister.
I know you don't believe it now, but some day you will see. They are not doing you any favors--and by accident they did right by you.
As to why they favor her:
Your father is an alcoholic, and you say your mother is codependent. In such dysfunctional families there is often a golden child and a scapegoat. The parents split off and project their good and bad parts onto their children--so they don't have to deal with them themselves. For example the parts of himself your father doesn't like he assigns to you--and then 'punishes' to make himself feel better. It's a away of disassociating himself and denying to himself the parts of himself he doesn't like. The parts of himself he likes he assigns to your sister, and then rewards in an attempt probably to get for himself the nurturing he didn't get as a child.
This is horribly simplified, and there's a lot more on the internet about it. Because they don't really see you or don't really see your sister, because you are stand-ins for parts of themselves that they like or dislike they can't talk about it, can't acknowledge it. If they had the ability to be honest about what they were doing they wouldn't be doing it--that's why your mother says "conversation over"; she does not want to be enlightened about how her attempts to console herself are hurting others.
This system works for them and they don't want to face the pain of giving it up. If they can't reassign their negative characteristics to you, then they have to assign them to themselves--and they are too weak and selfish to face their own imperfection.
I know you don't believe it now, but some day you will see. They are not doing you any favors--and by accident they did right by you.
As to why they favor her:
Your father is an alcoholic, and you say your mother is codependent. In such dysfunctional families there is often a golden child and a scapegoat. The parents split off and project their good and bad parts onto their children--so they don't have to deal with them themselves. For example the parts of himself your father doesn't like he assigns to you--and then 'punishes' to make himself feel better. It's a away of disassociating himself and denying to himself the parts of himself he doesn't like. The parts of himself he likes he assigns to your sister, and then rewards in an attempt probably to get for himself the nurturing he didn't get as a child.
This is horribly simplified, and there's a lot more on the internet about it. Because they don't really see you or don't really see your sister, because you are stand-ins for parts of themselves that they like or dislike they can't talk about it, can't acknowledge it. If they had the ability to be honest about what they were doing they wouldn't be doing it--that's why your mother says "conversation over"; she does not want to be enlightened about how her attempts to console herself are hurting others.
This system works for them and they don't want to face the pain of giving it up. If they can't reassign their negative characteristics to you, then they have to assign them to themselves--and they are too weak and selfish to face their own imperfection.
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Toledo, OH
Posts: 17
Wow I really needed that, thank you so much for your support! I've always been one to try to "fix" people and when I started living by "Let Go, Let God" I have felt so much better. I did it with my boyfriend and then my dad now it's time for me to live that way with my sister. The first thing they taught us in nursing school is you cant fix people and boy were they right!! I've always wanted to work in the mental health field but it's so hard to shut that off at home when I'm surrounded by it. Distancing myself is the best thing I can do at this moment and I would NEVER trade places with her because I can't imagine what it's like to be controlled by a stupid pill or alcohol or whatever someone's addiction is. I'm very grateful for what I have in life I just wish my parents could see that by spoiling her they are becoming part of the problem and I don't understand why it's so hard to treat both of us equally, I could never imagine favoring one of my boys over the other! I guess for now this is my counseling :P I have attended AA meetings to understand this better but got pulled aside and kicked out because I had no idea it was a closed meeting. I like AA but I feel like some of it is brainwashing addicts into thinking no one understands when really there are so many supportive people who aren't judging and trying to understand I feel like we shouldn't be excluded out of that part of their life. Every meeting is different though, for right now I feel like this site is the best therapy I could ever get and I'm so glad I came across it!
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Location: Phoenix, AZ
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Originally Posted by Lovemykids125 
I've been through this before my boyfriend/father of my kids is an addict and he got help and went to rehab but relapsed. Now he is on methadone maitenance... He's done a lot of things to me in the beginning of our relationship but 4 years and 2 kids later I completely forgave him and whenever that stuff gets brought up it doesn't bother me at all!! He is an amazing father and I know the man he was then is not the man he is today.
Nothing you can do about it.
Do you live with your parents and sister or with your boyfriend?
Seems you are worrying about the wrong addict. I sincerely hope your boyfriend stays clean, but if you read enough here you'll see that it is rare.
Plenty of folks here have done the "recovery, addiction, forgiveness" cycle for many more years than you've done it and still struggle with it.
Read as much as you can here. If you are one of the rare lucky ones whose addicts stay clean for the long haul, you've lost nothing.
If he relapses, you'll be better prepared. Good luck to you.
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
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Originally Posted by Lovemykids125
What I don't understand is why does my mom do soooooo much for my sister yet makes me feel like I'm never going to be good enough for her?!
Heck, that may be what has motivated you to achieve so much, despite so many challenges.
You are now an adult and your mom can't make you feel anything without your permission.
Take back your power and validate yourself. You are more than good enough for you.
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 499
We have similar stories. I came here looking for help because my alcoholic parents enable my heroin addict sister, and the anger was building up to really unhealthy levels. I was also more angry at my enabling parent than at my addict sister, just like you. When I started looking around more of the board, I found the forum right near this one: Adult children of alcoholics. Go there and read all of the information in the stickies. Not at work! There will be crying! It is helping me IMMENSELY, I had no idea there were support groups out there for this, or that these roles exist for a lot of people, not just me.
I'm finding that a combination of strategies from both ACoA and Naranon are tremendously appropriate in this situation. I cry a lot still, but I'm putting in the work to make myself healthier despite my family lottery. And for the hero child (like us) what's a little bit more work when the outcome is a healthier and happier you?
I'm so glad you found this place. I'm glad WE found this place. Keep reading and posting, it helps!
I'm finding that a combination of strategies from both ACoA and Naranon are tremendously appropriate in this situation. I cry a lot still, but I'm putting in the work to make myself healthier despite my family lottery. And for the hero child (like us) what's a little bit more work when the outcome is a healthier and happier you?
I'm so glad you found this place. I'm glad WE found this place. Keep reading and posting, it helps!
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Toledo, OH
Posts: 17
SadHeart- Everything you said makes sense! Where you were talking about my dad though I was thinking about my mom. I know my dad's alcoholism stems from depression and anxiety... he has hoarding tendencies, doesn't take good care of himself, and is afraid of any sort of change. He has never been the one to favor me or my sister and I mean to the extreme... an example is he's always made sure to spend the exact same amount of money on us for christmas down to the dollar! Yeah I'm frustrated he's throwing his life away at the bar but that's out of my control. He's gotten DUI's and been admitted to the hospital for alcohol-related problems but he's in that mindset that if he acts like there's not a problem then it will just go away. I've already accepted my dad's alcoholism and distanced myself from him and I've been much happier ever since I stopped trying to get him help.
As for my mom she was just telling me today about how her mom paid for her sister's college but not hers and how she has always done everything on her own... I told her that I'm not her! It seems like she's trying to have me live life like she did but why would she be treating my sister that way then? I feel like she's trying to live vicariously through me or something. She always complains to me about how her husband doesn't do housework, doesn't communicate, and doesn't show his love and my boyfriend is the complete opposite of that. She's made it clear that he's not good enough though and that's always bothered me.
BeavsDad- At the moment my boyfriend and I live with my mom (she's not an addict) and my sister lives with my dad but I always feel like my mom is trying to push us out of the house because with us here there is no room for my sister and she thinks that if my sister lived here that she wouldn't be doing drugs......... I expect addicts to relapse and I'm definitely ready for it in case it happens again with my boyfriend. He says he feels "safe" on methadone and he doesn't relapse while he's on it. Of course I would love for him to be completely sober but I'm not expecting it. Don't get me wrong I'm not afraid to leave him but it's been years since he relapsed and I'm grateful he has found something that works for him. I'm really not worrying about the wrong addict, I'm not even worried about any addicts at all. This whole thread was just about how frustrated I am with my mom for how much she does for my addict sister and how little she does for me, especially with the way my sister talks to her even now that she's out of rehab. Just always making excuses for her but making me struggle and it wouldn't bother me if she just would treat my sister how she treats me. I've already gone through this with my boyfriend and we have been in a great place for a long time, ever since our first child. I just threw that in there to get a better understanding that I have been surrounded by addiction for awhile now and I'm not new to this. I know what it means to be a codependent and enable someone and I know when to let go. I was just trying to reach out to other people who are dealing with the same problems where their parents are codependents and seem to favor the addict and the non-addict never seems to be good enough. We are moving out in September though and I hope that by distancing myself from my mom and sister it will make me stop trying to please my mom and just be happy with myself.
outtolunch- Thank you, I'm sure you're right and I do need to take back my power. I don't know why I'm always trying to hard to make her proud of me but this has gone way back her favoring my sister even before her drug use, it just seemed to get brought back up now that I'm noticing it again. I lived on my own for a couple years and moved back in while I was in school (my mom insisted) and I never even noticed it while I had my own apartment! I don't remember getting into so many arguments with my mom or even feeling like I wasn't good enough, it's just when I live with her everything I do or say is just "ugh" to her.
interrupted- When I found this site a year ago it was because I was so frustrated with my dad when he got another DUI and I did look at those forums and they helped me stop worrying about him sooo much! It sounds like we have a lot in common but my mom is not an addict she is just an enabler that for some reason I can never make her happy! Little mistakes I make she holds grudges against and will never let me live it down but for my sister it doesn't matter what she says or does she's forgiven 2 minutes later.
outtolunch is right though I just need to stop trying to figure out why my mom isn't proud of me because I'm seriously so proud of myself and so is my boyfriend and if she's not proud of me now after all I've been through and accomplished then she never will be!
As for my mom she was just telling me today about how her mom paid for her sister's college but not hers and how she has always done everything on her own... I told her that I'm not her! It seems like she's trying to have me live life like she did but why would she be treating my sister that way then? I feel like she's trying to live vicariously through me or something. She always complains to me about how her husband doesn't do housework, doesn't communicate, and doesn't show his love and my boyfriend is the complete opposite of that. She's made it clear that he's not good enough though and that's always bothered me.
BeavsDad- At the moment my boyfriend and I live with my mom (she's not an addict) and my sister lives with my dad but I always feel like my mom is trying to push us out of the house because with us here there is no room for my sister and she thinks that if my sister lived here that she wouldn't be doing drugs......... I expect addicts to relapse and I'm definitely ready for it in case it happens again with my boyfriend. He says he feels "safe" on methadone and he doesn't relapse while he's on it. Of course I would love for him to be completely sober but I'm not expecting it. Don't get me wrong I'm not afraid to leave him but it's been years since he relapsed and I'm grateful he has found something that works for him. I'm really not worrying about the wrong addict, I'm not even worried about any addicts at all. This whole thread was just about how frustrated I am with my mom for how much she does for my addict sister and how little she does for me, especially with the way my sister talks to her even now that she's out of rehab. Just always making excuses for her but making me struggle and it wouldn't bother me if she just would treat my sister how she treats me. I've already gone through this with my boyfriend and we have been in a great place for a long time, ever since our first child. I just threw that in there to get a better understanding that I have been surrounded by addiction for awhile now and I'm not new to this. I know what it means to be a codependent and enable someone and I know when to let go. I was just trying to reach out to other people who are dealing with the same problems where their parents are codependents and seem to favor the addict and the non-addict never seems to be good enough. We are moving out in September though and I hope that by distancing myself from my mom and sister it will make me stop trying to please my mom and just be happy with myself.
outtolunch- Thank you, I'm sure you're right and I do need to take back my power. I don't know why I'm always trying to hard to make her proud of me but this has gone way back her favoring my sister even before her drug use, it just seemed to get brought back up now that I'm noticing it again. I lived on my own for a couple years and moved back in while I was in school (my mom insisted) and I never even noticed it while I had my own apartment! I don't remember getting into so many arguments with my mom or even feeling like I wasn't good enough, it's just when I live with her everything I do or say is just "ugh" to her.
interrupted- When I found this site a year ago it was because I was so frustrated with my dad when he got another DUI and I did look at those forums and they helped me stop worrying about him sooo much! It sounds like we have a lot in common but my mom is not an addict she is just an enabler that for some reason I can never make her happy! Little mistakes I make she holds grudges against and will never let me live it down but for my sister it doesn't matter what she says or does she's forgiven 2 minutes later.
outtolunch is right though I just need to stop trying to figure out why my mom isn't proud of me because I'm seriously so proud of myself and so is my boyfriend and if she's not proud of me now after all I've been through and accomplished then she never will be!
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Join Date: Aug 2011
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Hi,
There used to be a time long a while ago I was just like your parents I didnt pay enough attention to my other children everything was centered around AS its crazy really but thank god that is not a problem anymore now I give my other children the praise and attention they deserve, Its hard but try not to hold grudges against them sometimes they cant see past the addict even for there own good let alone yours and yes you should be proud of all that you have accomplished wether they see it or not
There used to be a time long a while ago I was just like your parents I didnt pay enough attention to my other children everything was centered around AS its crazy really but thank god that is not a problem anymore now I give my other children the praise and attention they deserve, Its hard but try not to hold grudges against them sometimes they cant see past the addict even for there own good let alone yours and yes you should be proud of all that you have accomplished wether they see it or not
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Join Date: Mar 2012
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A long time ago, I had a very wise boss, a much older man with 2 adult sons. He was the VP and I shared an office next to his. He always joked, I was the daughter he never had and now knew why God never gave him one. lol
One day, he saw my frustration after I hung up with father. I was in tears for some of the reasons you have described. My boss looked at me and said.........
"Parents help those who need it the most, be proud you that you don't need it." They were powerful words for me. The minute I acknowledged what he was saying, I let go of all my resentments and felt free. I didn't need my fathers money, I didn't need his validation and approval..that I so desperately sought. The irony was...as I let go of that need, he started to give it to me. It may have helped him feel better, but either way, I didn't care and started having a much healthier outlook and a much healthier relationship with my father. My mother and I's relationship had already become healthy because I moved 1800 miles away and she could no longer treat me like the baby of the family and cripple my growth. I loved her dearly, but she loved to think I was still incapable of doing simple things like laundry....lol.
Another irony, it was me who cared for her when she became sick and terminally ill. In many ways, the daughter had become the mother. What I didn't know is that my codependency issues were sky rocketing. I was becoming very unhealthy....always worrying, always care taking, and not allowing her to do things for herself. In many ways, I always felt I owed her. I repaid her but it was costly. I only wish I knew then what I know now.
Take what you need and leave the rest!
One day, he saw my frustration after I hung up with father. I was in tears for some of the reasons you have described. My boss looked at me and said.........
"Parents help those who need it the most, be proud you that you don't need it." They were powerful words for me. The minute I acknowledged what he was saying, I let go of all my resentments and felt free. I didn't need my fathers money, I didn't need his validation and approval..that I so desperately sought. The irony was...as I let go of that need, he started to give it to me. It may have helped him feel better, but either way, I didn't care and started having a much healthier outlook and a much healthier relationship with my father. My mother and I's relationship had already become healthy because I moved 1800 miles away and she could no longer treat me like the baby of the family and cripple my growth. I loved her dearly, but she loved to think I was still incapable of doing simple things like laundry....lol.
Another irony, it was me who cared for her when she became sick and terminally ill. In many ways, the daughter had become the mother. What I didn't know is that my codependency issues were sky rocketing. I was becoming very unhealthy....always worrying, always care taking, and not allowing her to do things for herself. In many ways, I always felt I owed her. I repaid her but it was costly. I only wish I knew then what I know now.
Take what you need and leave the rest!
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Originally Posted by Lovemykids125
I was just trying to reach out to other people who are dealing with the same problems where their parents are codependents and seem to favor the addict and the non-addict never seems to be good enough.
Originally Posted by Lovemykids125
We are moving out in September though and I hope that by distancing myself from my mom and sister it will make me stop trying to please my mom and just be happy with myself.
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Location: Chicago area
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You are done with school and I am going to assume both you and the father of those children are employed. So why not get out of the chaos and get your own place. That will do all of you a world of good.
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