KRA

I want to terminate the domestic partnership with my ex abusive alcoholic gf in the next week or two. I've been out of the house almost a month. She's moving and domestic partnerships get terminated via certified mail or process severs. I dont know how I would terminate the relationship if I don't have an address to serve her at. I was originally planning to terminate the relationship in about a month, but am worried about the possibility of not having a mailing address for her.

I think that when I terminate the domestic partnership she's going to either try to commit suicide, go after me in some manner, or go after my stepmom in some manner, who is my only family.

What safety precautions do you suggest I take to protect myself and my stepmom? I'm very worried that she will try to hurt one of us in some way, either physically or emotionally.

pinkdog

I don't know how to go about that but if you live in the states, the city will have a Justice League where people can go on a sliding scale fee or even free. They have lawyers that will answer your legal questions. I went to one before. They even do arbitration. You should be able to call them with a question.

marie1960

Perhaps an attorney in your state could shed some light regarding the termination of domestic partnerships. It's a pay now or pay later situation.

If she is making threats,or stalks, notify the police. Document everything.

As far as a suicide attempt, if she threatens it, call 911 and let the professionals tend to her.

Stay strong.

KRA

She's really crazy. I'm worried that one day I'll be walking down the street and she'll suddenly appear and do something to me. I don't think she knows where I'm staying, but she knows where I work.

I don't know why I'm so worried about physical violence now, but I am. She was physically abusive when we were together but nothing extreme. I guess because I'm hearing from people that she's acting crazy.

Do you think I should end the domestic partnership now while I know where she is or later when I may not know where she is, but she may have calmed down some?

soberbrooke

If she is anything like me, when I was drinking, I wouldn't care!! I would not open my mail!

Not sure of what your laws are, but maybe doing nothing might be ok! I am doing nothing down here in TX, and he isn't getting a lawyer. We have been living together for 15 years, and I just left, we have 2 kids. I am not doing anything at this time, and it seems to be working. I am praying that he just walks away, and so far so good.

KRA

She's on my health insurance and for her to qualify for it we have to live together. If she doesn't live with me, she's not supposed to get it. I haven't changed my address at work and for the health insurance because I'm couch serfing and don't have a permanent address. When I do, I'm going to have to sign papers confirming that she's living with me. I don't want to lie or be accused of comitting some sort of fraud. I also want to have her completely out of my life. Plus keeping her on my health insurance costs me $. On the other hand, I'm really worried about what she's going to do when I terminate the domestic partnership and take her off my health insurance. I'm really screwed no matter what I dO.

KRA

And she may not be opening her mail, but I'm certain she's opening mine. Otherwise she wouldn't know that the insurance checks came. They're in my name, addressed to me.

Thumper

I think you should talk to a domestic violence counselor to get information on personal safety and perhaps just to work through some of the emotions that come up when separating from an abusive and unstable person.

Follow their advice and just move forward with sending the letter and getting the paperwork done with your insurance. Get a PO Box so your mail goes there and you can change your address.

Document everything. If she threatens you, go to the police.

Alucard

I am going through this BS now with soon to bexAW. I am going to have her daughter serve her, as it is a court order we are to stay away from each other, I'd say abot a 25% chance she signs off and gives the paperwork to her daughter to give to me,75% chance she doesnt do squat, and then i have to serve her (she is couch surfing) and her galpal will deny she is living there, so it will be a pain in the butt. But we will win by default that way.

Thumper

Alucard, where I live you can pay a small fee and the police do the serving. Very clean way of handling it.

Alucard

LOL. I know this and she knows this. I am betting (a very small sum) that she wants to sign off and get me back the paperwork via her daughter, because she wants to REALLY avoid police involvement at this point, she is in deep fecal material with the law.

Thumper

I was feeling a bit of anxiety about putting the daughter in that position when her mother seems so unstable. I don't know the details of how she interacts with/around her though.

Alucard

No problems there, its a matter of if the daughter can reach her, and get the paperwork to her, as I said, she is couchsurfing and basically trying to lay low. I DONT CARE at this point, if she wants to be difficult, we will win by default.