VirgoRed

So glad I found this forum. Thank you all for sharing openly & honestly and reminding me how many people struggle with alcholism so I don't feel like such a freak.

Here's my story- I am a 33 year old wife & mother of 3 with sucessful full time career in the financial/business side of healthcare.

My battle with drinking started about 2 years ago- only at the time I did'nt know it was going to be a battle and now I am drinking a pint of Vodka a night every third night and 6 beers, a half pint of vodka or bottle of wine on my "light nights". My husband has no idea, as I hide 99% of my drinking from him.As in I occasionally have a beer with him-only he has no idea I've already downed a bunch of Vodka. My drinking starts every night when I get home from work. I even drink on weekend nights now too so long as I am not driving.There have beeen a couple of instances of my children finding bottles & thought I hid well.

When I had my last child I was financially unable to quit working & I was working a job I HATED at that. Between being seperated from my baby before I was ready, juggling career with kids =I develped major aniexty issues. So when the kids went to bed I would have a couple drinks. I loved the feeling of being numb & it just escalated from there- as you all know. Now I drink earlier & much more. I changed to a job I love a few months ago, but now I realize I am already an alcoholic.

I do all the texbook things- go to different stores, hiding bottles etc.

I will mention I went on vacation for a week recently. I had no more than a beer or glass of wine here & there & had no significant problems (other than aniexty from not being able to drink) but the first thing I did upon return was drink a pint of Vodka in one night.

This has got to stop.

DisplacedGRITS

welcome VirgoRed. vodka and beer were my buddies too. you can stop. it just takes a lot of willpower in the beginning and a solid plan to see you through. are you still drinking? if so, are you ready to stop now? seeing a doctor about detoxing is a sound idea as detoxing on your own can be very dangerous. also, you wouldn't want your kids to see you going through the horrible nausea and shakes and vertigo...it's just such a mess. also, you are going to have to come clean to your spouse. i'm sure he suspects on some level. if your kids are finding bottles you can bet he's come across some. have you considered going to AA? it's a great fellowship and program. the women's groups are especially nice. i've found the ladies there to be very welcoming. i'm 31, no kids but you'll find all ages and marital statuses and with or without kids there.

welcome again to SR. i'm glad you found us!

cmc133

Welcome to SR. We have a lot in common. I'm 32, mom of 2, and had been drinking heavily in secret for 3 years (casual drinker before that for 9 years or so). It's tough, but somehow I have made it ten days without a drink.

It's scary isn't it? To think of not drinking felt like planning to hold my breath. It's very slowly getting easier though.

Thanks for your post. You're among friends here. And I'll tell you, it was a relief to tell my husband I'd been drinking secretly. It felt so freeing to get that off my chest and it's helped our relationship.

Please keep us posted!

VirgoRed

I do wonder about the detox thing. If I was able to go an entire week(7 whole days) with only 2 beers an 3 glasses of wine because someone was with me at all times & I could not be sneaky-does that mean maybe I will not have to go through the vomiting and other severe side effects-maybe? Trying to think positive. During that week I was anxious, aggitated & had night sweats but that was about it.

Jabbadabutt

You will find welcoming arms here at SR!! Yes, I identify with you so much. Some of the best advice I got when I first came here was "what is your Plan?", "do not drink...at all", and the best, "do not think you can do it alone...ask for help".

I used to think I drank to cope with anxiety.....until it turned on me......and my drinking was really causing my anxiety. Words to ponder. Good luck and welcome.

Dee74

Hi VirgoRed

Noone can really know about detox...it's so unpredictable, even in ourselves.
Every detox I had was different, for example.

I think seeing a Dr is a good idea regardless of how you feel, but particularly think about it if you feel concerned, or especially if you feel ill.

There's a lot of support here - I know you'll do well
Welcome

D

heath480

Welcome to SR.

Hevyn

Welcome Virgo. I drank in a similar way - but by the time I hit my 50's the disease had progressed to the point that I drank all day. My life was in ruins because I failed to acknowledge I had a problem - the way you are. Be proud you're taking control and are questioning what's going on. You'll never have the regrets that many of us have.

Glad to have you aboard!

Stevie1

Hi Virgo...I was about where you were by my early 30s and like Hevyn, it got worse in a slow, sneaky way, into my 50s. Much worse. And through all those years, I was able to sustain periods of not drinking, or "controlling" (ha, so I thought) my drinking. But none of it stuck. So good for you in deciding to take steps to quit now.

I never had any detox apart from some shakieness for a day or two even after long periods of heavy and sustained drinking but have a friend who came very close to dying last year - almost a month in hospital including a medically-supervised detox. And he had a very responsible managerial position and worked right up until he landed in intensive care with liver ascites, then detox. So I believe it's prudent to get some medical advice.

CarolD

I've yet to meet an adult who told me how pleased and proud
they were that their parents drank....

Blessings to you and your family

Glad you are here...Welcome....