JMariano825

I just wrote how I went to the store without buying alcohol. Well I got home, occupied myself with my sandwich and then I opened the counter and saw dessert wine left over because it is disgusting. I screamed "**** it" and took a chug. I even brought it next to me, then I thought better of it and put it away. I actually looked at the label to see how much alcohol was in it because I want a buzz. It has only been 3 days and it is like hell!! I do have a beginners AA meeting tonight, but I don't know what to do with myself until then. It is like I forgot how to just relax, read, journal. I don't do anything I used to do because I would just get drunk and zone out instead. I think this is going to be really hard and I still cannot help but think about the social outings I will have with friends in the future that I would drink with and now I don't know what to do.
I keep telling myself that I can drink once in awhile but I just know that I am kidding myself. This is ******* hard and I feel like crying.

HarleyDaddy

I kept a remaining half of a fifth of rum in my freezer as a "what it this all falls apart" back-up for the first 4 days. Day four I said "f-you" to the bottle and poured it down the drain. A lot of this is a mental test of wills. If I can do it, you can do it

JMariano825

Thanks HarleyDaddy, There is that part of me that believes this will all fall apart too.

freshstart57

Well done, HarleyDaddy, you took charge of the situation, and did the first best thing to get sober - get rid of the booze! That was the first thing I did, too.

JMariano, to do this, you first must believe that you can. I know you are capable of succeeding. How about you?

MalkavianEmily

Well, when I was buying 'ordinary' beer, before I switched to the super strength lager, I always checked the ABV.
It will get better. The first three days... are pretty awful. either shaking, or feeling like you are, emotionally all over the place. The first week is pretty bad, and the next week isn't much better. But it is better. And it keeps getting better.
If you go back to drinking, it will only get worse.

DisplacedGRITS

any reason the wine is there? any reason the rest of it can't be down the sink? if it can't be down the sink then put it in the farthest reaches of the fridge and pile everything you can in front of it. you need to take charge of your decisions. you are stronger than that first drink. remember that next time. you are in charge. listen to your voice. not the other voice in your head. what did it do for you? nothing. remember that next time. learn from this. that is all you can do. learn. don't think about whether or not you can drink again. that's not for you to worry about right now. you worry about the here and now. today. just for today, you cannot drink. for the rest of today, you cannot drink, ok? you're alright. you made a mistake but you learned something, ok? take that away and all is not lost. you're a good person. you're just hurting and scared. don't let the troubles of tomorrow and all the days after worry you today. they'll come in their own time. it's not fair of them to come and trouble you today. look forward to your meeting and don't feel guilty. you're still trying and that's what's important. you still have the desire to quit and that is an honorable and beautiful quality that you possess. take a breath and remember, you have all the rest of today to not be drunk and what a gift that is. it's better than the alternative.

Live2Run25

You really need to be a point mentally where you tell yourself you just ARE NOT going to drink anymore, and then don't. Sure, it's going to be hard, but you are the one picking up the bottle. No one is making you. My family told me for years I should stop, and I didn't until I WANTED too. If you REALLY want to do this, you can do this!! (((hugs)))

Dee74

The early days are hard jm - but you're not alone - you have all of us here and I think it's a good idea to add something like AA as well.

The next time things start getting too hard - log on and talk it through here maybe - or get some phone numbers from your meeting so you have people to call?

You can do this - it just takes a little hard work thats all

D