my sister told me kids she'd take them to meet my mother
my sister told me kids she'd take them to meet my mother
I disowned my mother 25 years ago. She was horribly abusive. It was a decision my body made for me. I vomited whenever she was around.
One of my sisters has always maintained a relationship ship with her. When my oldest son was little, she would try to take him to see our mom.
I freaked. She eventually stopped.
My 14 year old just told me that his aunt said she would take him to visit her if he wanted.
I literally feel like throwing up again. Jesus. I thought this was over.
One of my sisters has always maintained a relationship ship with her. When my oldest son was little, she would try to take him to see our mom.
I freaked. She eventually stopped.
My 14 year old just told me that his aunt said she would take him to visit her if he wanted.
I literally feel like throwing up again. Jesus. I thought this was over.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 326
Sounds like your sister needs a long time out, at least until she understands that she will not override your decisions about your minor child. And that from this point forward she cannot be trusted to have a relationship with your son since she is trying to undermine it.
Despicable.
Despicable.
Ok, my son just told me that he ASKED her if he could meet her and she said, "I will take you to meet her if your mom says it's ok."
I am so freaked out. I just threw up and my body is shifting into a very very reactive mode. I'm looking for my Valium before I things get worse. I haven't been triggered like this in years. I thought I was all better.,
I am so freaked out. I just threw up and my body is shifting into a very very reactive mode. I'm looking for my Valium before I things get worse. I haven't been triggered like this in years. I thought I was all better.,
I gave that sister a very long time out years ago, that's why she responded that a way. I am so freaked out. The kids are staring at me. I've never told them about my mom, I told them she was dead, I think, but can 't remember. I just todl them that she was horribly abusive to me that's why they can't see her, because she didn't keep me safe. I told them they could meet her if they wanted when they are 18, and that I'll also tell them what she did then if they want to know. I'm afraid of going into that state where I shake and cry and can't stop, ****
I chewed up the one Valuim I had left and feel better. The kids and i actually had a very good talk about this. They saw me cry and I told them the basics..
This stuff is just so hard. Now I'm in a very heightened fear state and terrified to do just about anything.
This stuff is just so hard. Now I'm in a very heightened fear state and terrified to do just about anything.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 326
I gave that sister a very long time out years ago, that's why she responded that a way. I am so freaked out. The kids are staring at me. I've never told them about my mom, I told them she was dead, I think, but can 't remember. I just todl them that she was horribly abusive to me that's why they can't see her, because she didn't keep me safe. I told them they could meet her if they wanted when they are 18, and that I'll also tell them what she did then if they want to know. I'm afraid of going into that state where I shake and cry and can't stop, ****
Odd that your son would bring up a grandmother he had never seen or hasn't seen since he was very young, and that he went to your sister about it rather than you.
I'm so sorry you were so profoundly triggered. This is the unrecognized post traumatic stress of being with someone toxic--worse because you were dependent on her and so vulnerable. It's a terrible feeling. I hope you feel better very quickly.
Many hugs to you.
Oh geez, Transform.
When will they learn?
Your son is curious, but your sister knows what the problem is.
You don't like to let your boys see you cry?
I can understand that. When I cry, it is very very serious. The kids pay attention then.
so, now they know some of what your fear is about. this is good.
Everything is not perfect now, but it is better? I hope so.
Keep breathing, the immediate danger is gone.
Maybe some time for some hot yoga? Work it out.
I am thinking about you, and sending good vibes.
:ghug3
Beth
When will they learn?
Your son is curious, but your sister knows what the problem is.
You don't like to let your boys see you cry?
I can understand that. When I cry, it is very very serious. The kids pay attention then.
so, now they know some of what your fear is about. this is good.
Everything is not perfect now, but it is better? I hope so.
Keep breathing, the immediate danger is gone.
Maybe some time for some hot yoga? Work it out.
I am thinking about you, and sending good vibes.
:ghug3
Beth
Thank you Beth. yes, I'm better Honey. No, I don't let them see me cry, usually if I'm crying it ain't normal. A triggered state.
I think my sister mentioned going to see "our mother," which surprised him because he thought she was dead.
I wish she was.
I think my sister mentioned going to see "our mother," which surprised him because he thought she was dead.
I wish she was.
Yeah, it is not normal for me either, showing emotion is the last thing I want to do.
Trying to be the strong one, the non-crier, wow, it is hard.
But I am getting better too.
And I am glad that my children can forgive me for being less than perfect.
Your mother went to the place where there is no forgiveness, and I am so deeply sorry for that. You deserved so much more. And still deserve the best.
It is coming your way sister. It is on its way, no doubt about that.
Keep keepin on, I am with ya!
Trying to be the strong one, the non-crier, wow, it is hard.
But I am getting better too.
And I am glad that my children can forgive me for being less than perfect.
Your mother went to the place where there is no forgiveness, and I am so deeply sorry for that. You deserved so much more. And still deserve the best.
It is coming your way sister. It is on its way, no doubt about that.
Keep keepin on, I am with ya!
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