LostOnceAgain

I had been in rehab for my addiction to crack cocaine last year. For the past month, I have been using crystal meth, snorting it smoking it and injecting it. I feel like I cant stop, and I have the desire deep down to quit, but i dont have the strength to carry out. I just ended a 2 going on 3 day binge. I feel as if I am becoming depersonalized. I am always looking for something stronger, and I found something so strong it has me captive. I dont know what to do. I am a closet tweaker, nobody knows I am using but I am sure it is slowly becoming obvious. Not to mention, the meth addiction tagged along a porn addiction with it as well.

CarolD

Hi again...

Are you considering going back to re hab?
That might be a good idea.

larrylive

That was stupid. I say this because I too struggled with crack for years and for some time early in recovery I thought about smoking meth "just once". Should I ever get that thought again I shall think of you, thanks.

stillsleeping

Not supportive. At all. In fact, pretty hostile and borderline offensive.

LostOnceAgain, don't panic - you've come here, which means you're still making right decisions. It's understandable to turn to another drug when your drug of choice is gone - just look at how many people on this forum ask whether it's okay to smoke weed when you're getting clean. And, okay, meth was a pretty heavy replacement, but you've recognised that it's a problem.

Most of us think at some point we can do something occasionally then realise too late it's out of control. Thing is recognising you weren't just addicted to crack - you're an addict, and probably any drug you take is going to end up with the same result.

So what to do now? Rehab again would be smart. Or how about NA? You're going to need some help and support for this. Are there any meetings in your area? And do you have a close friend or family member you can talk to?

In the meantime, this is a really supportive forum - read around and you'll find lots of people who have/are going though exactly the same thing as you and most of us like to help each other along

Nice to meet you

Still
xx

frankinnc

Yeah, that was nuts dude. Lol, I understand though because I make stupid decisions all of the time. Like, for example, several weeks ago when (after 5 1/2 years of sobriety) I thought to myself, "gee, I think I'll smoke some crack today" , and I was'nt even craving..nahh, I just did it. But here's the thing man: You can quit again. But if your anything like me, your probaly gonna need more help than an internet forum alone can offer. Sure, this forum is great and it's a good place to chat and get basic advice, but hard-core addicts like us usually also need a support group of some kind to attend...and we need to go to these support groups as much as possible in the beginning. Me, I go to AA/NA as that's all there is in my area. But there's all kinds of options out there depending on where you live. Peace.

larrylive

Well, I stand by my first comment, that was stupid. If that does not sit well with anyone, read the rest of his post and then ask yourself where is he now. Clearly not a wise choice. I did not intend to be mean, harsh or cruel, but it was the first thought that came to my mind.

Regards,
Larry

PS Almost reminded me of me and some of the Oldtimers here on SR, but that's another thread.

Aysha

I am still struggling with my own crack addiction. I did manage 7 mos clean in 2010. The longest ever in a 19 yr addiction to the crap. I have a week today..the longest in a year.
But my point is..I tried replacing it with weed, pills, whatever. As long as it wasnt crack, the thing that I have let rob me of my life, I thought it was ok. Until the same old behaviors and results started happening.

It wouldnt hurt to possibly go back to rehab before this becomes alot bigger than it has to be. You can stop digging any time you choose.

In Larrys defense. I heard alot of things that stung. Everything was something I didnt want to hear. Just look at some of my earlier posts. I found that for me, its usually the ones that sting a little that are the truth and hit harder for me. Cause they make me think. Whether out of anger or not. They make a lasting impression.
I would rather have someone be very blunt and honest with me (without being disrespectful of course which I didnt find that to be) than rub my belly. But thats just me. It took that harshness for me to wake up many times. Sure it hurts at first. But after some time and thought. I found it to be the best thing anyone could have done for me. Telling it like it is. Something I pride myself on.
I know Larry didnt mean it like that. I use to lay into Larry alot back in the day....LOL Now he is a great example of recovery.

Good Luck and I hope you look for some treatment or meetings or whatever it is that helped you beat the crack monster.