Sobrietyplz

My mom is an alcoholic. I think I have my codependency under control. At least it is compared to the first couple years after seeing my mom's alcoholism.

She has done well. She made a lot of lifestyle changes in October and got relatively clean. She moved out of her boyfriend's house, and got her own place. She says that she drank because of the situation she was in with her boyfriend.

I was worried, I could see she wasn't going to meetings, or seeking help for herself at all. I was afraid the day would come, when something would happen and she would relapse.

Well, she was diagnosed with thyroid cancer a few weeks ago. She was obviously drunk the night she told us, but was positive and cleanish for the next two weeks.

We all agreed, and talked to her about, not knowing how bad it is, and still not knowing how bad it is, that if it came down to it, we would all split her bills so she could keep her apartment and just focus on getting better.

She hasn't started treatment yet, but money is tight. she got in a bad spot, my brother bailed her out.

Now she is in full blown relapse, and is saying that she isn't going to get treatment. I caught her getting drunk while she was watching my sister's children. She gets paid to watch my sister's kids. that is her "job."

It is papillary thyroid cancer, which has a 95% survival rate. But it is possible that she is in the 5% because it has been there for a long time and she is over 50.

My brother realizes that he probably enabled her drinking, and is upset about that.

I just want to bang my head into the wall. I don't want to help her out at all if she is drinking, but I would do everything in my power to help her fight the cancer.

to top things off, I went through her phone and discovered she is trying to reach out to her exbf, who she has a restraining order against, but he seems to have her number blocked.

I don't even know what I am fishing for here. I am numb to the drinking. I have accepted that it is her choice and there isn't a dang thing I can do about it. Just looking to vent I guess....

(BTW this isn't my first post, I lost my old log in information)

shawty80

what a tough situation. my mom battled stage three colon cancer a few summers ago, had major surgery to remove a fist-sized tumor, had a port put in, and underwent six months of chemotherapy. it was all so taxing and exhausting for her, and she's a non-drinker. i cannot begin to fathom how alcohol will affect your mom's treatments, which i sincerely hope she reconsiders. my heart goes out to you and your family.

Tuffgirl

Oh I am sorry - you have a lot on your plate, huh?

Big hugs to you tonight, and prayers to your family.

I don't have much advice, but I do have an understanding of watching a parent make bad decisions, and it really sucks. I hope you keep coming back!
~T

Sobrietyplz

Thanks! my mom and I have a mutual friend. an alcoholic who also was battling (breast) cancer. I used to see her around town, the cancer treatment was taking its toll, but but she was doing well, she was almost done with it. But I could always smell the alcohol on her.

One day she just died. nobody said why.

I can't help but wonder if the drinking took her.

I hope my mom doesn't do the same thing. It is hard. I wanted to take her out and pamper her. Get her hair cut and died. But she would rather drink than spend time with me. It hurts.