bayliss

I was always the one on here that wanted to be sober - but thought that I couldn't do it.
Or hey; maybe I just didn't want to.

I was the lazy, self-indulgent girl - the spoiled one - that expected people to do things for me. That expected someone to take my "alcoholism" away from me with no work on my part.

I hated the phrase "nothing changes if nothing changes" that people on here kept telling me over and over again. Quite frankly I wanted to tell them to shut up because they didn't understand - even though they were going through exactly the same thing I was going through.

I thought I was 'unique'.

Now I finally understand what "nothing changes if nothing changes" means...I have a love hate relationship with it now...and I keep telling myself this in my head when I am afraid of trying something new...

I never got past more then a week or two without going back to drinking...calling it a "relapse"...it's not a relapse if you didn't want to be sober in the first place.


I am 24 days sober now.
I am reading.
I am going to a counsellor.
I have gone to AA.
I am putting the work in now.
I finally get it.

Nothing changes if nothing changes.

Thanks to everyone that didn't give up on me on here in the past.

-Bayliss+

suki44883

Whoo Hoo!!! Congratulations on 24 days!

aeo1313

Hey- I remember you! Congrats!

Dee74

I'm really pleased bayliss - that's terrific

D

Tippingpoint

Bayliss! Fantastic post! Fantastic message! So glad that you're figuring it out...it really sticks when you find your own way like that.

Congrats!

hypochondriac

Well done Bayliss! 24 days is massive!! I'm really pleased for you xxx

Weasel1966

BaylIss.... Thank you for this post.... More than you know. I need not explain. But know... In hearing you I hear me.

My love back to you.

!

CarolD

What good news....thanks for shareing it with us...

Anna

Bayliss, I am thrilled to see you back here 24 days sober.

Good for you!

doggonecarl

You hadn't been on for so long, then I see this post and think, "Oh, no." I thought it was going to be a post about your ongoing struggle to get sober.

Thanks for proving me wrong, and congratulations on 24 days!

Exploring

So glad you posted Bayliss. You are doing awesome!!

Lenina

Bayliss,

I am so happy for you! congrats!

Love From Lenina

artsoul

It's great to see you back, bayliss and ready to take on sobriety. I thought I was unique, too - I just knew I was going to be able to drink differently the next time, that other people didn't have my problems, or whatever..... it was just another tactic to keep the addiction going.

One day at a time - you can do this!

RevivingOphelia

(((Bayliss))) so happy to see you back and sober! way to go!

Hevyn

Oh, Bayliss - 24 days - look at you! So proud that you made it through those rough days & now have a whole new outlook.

DisplacedGRITS

hey bayliss! i've been wondering about you. i'm very happy for you and glad to see you. keep it up. we're in this together.

TorontoGuy28

Congrats !

Nothing changes if nothing changes - held true for me as well...

Another big one was for me to truly admit and ACCEPT that I was powerless over alcohol... Not easy for this Type A, overachiever...

Glad you're doing well !

awuh1

WOW! I could not wait to read what you wrote when I saw your name. You bring a smile to my face. I have hope. Welcome back!

sugarbear1

Keep moving forward! I'm proud of you right now!

Big hugs,

Threshold

Haha, Bayliss, awesome!

yeah, you played games, dragged your feet, put things off, made excuses and all that (pretty much all of us did that at some point, we just didn't all do it online!) but the thing is that you kept coming back.

Kept getting honest, in spite of yourself. Kept trying to work both sides to find out with one you liked the best. Some part of you never gave up. You chose SR as your community and never really let go of the idea of recovery.

So glad on your 24 days!