Misguidedsoul

I'm not going to go into why.. i know why.. i've drunk a lot tonight and already I feel ashamed and disappointed in myself.. I have been going to AA for the last couple of weeks.. I have tried to get a sponsor to help me with the steps, but with no success... the people that go are either learning the steps themselves or the few that are not are not able to sponsor more as they have enough already... any advice on what I can do.. I need to learn the steps .. I need someone who I can call when my weakness succumbs (sp) to this disease !! .....

DisplacedGRITS

have you tried asking the secretary of the meetings? the people who have been in the program often longer know who is willing and able to sponsor. that's how i got my first one. also, remember to come here when you can when the urge strikes you. call a 1-800 number. get a phone list and start calling those numbers. you don't have to rely solely on a sponsor when you get cravings.

2granddaughters

Get the numbers of the other newcomers in your meetings and get with them. Keep each other sober. You will get courage by encouraging them.
Go to all the different meetings you can, you will find what you need if you keep looking. Pray as you are walking to the meetings, that helps.

All the best.

Bob R

Dee74

You can also post here anytime you need help - there's always people around who'll be willing to listen and help MGS

D

Zee

Hi Mis.
Stick around here while you figure out the AA situation. There are 12 step forums and a large % here are AA people here. I don't know about the sponsor situation 'cause I'm not in AA myself. Do you need to get one straight away? Is it possible for you to try a different meeting?

One thing I know, this place (SR) is keeping me (and alot of other people) sober. I'm sure that someone will be able to sponser you soon.

Also, the chat room is a good place to go

Anna

Yes, please do post here when you feel you need support.

Misguidedsoul

Ok thanks guys.. will follow the advice given ...

IndaMiricale

Good deal, keep going and that advice given is good stuff.

changer

hi there misguidedsoul,
definitely check in with the secretary of any meeting (after the meeting)- they will be the person who starts the meeting, introduces any speakers, etc.
many groups have temporary sponsor lists- people who have offered to be temporary sponsors until you find someone else. in my case, i stuck with my temp sponsor as we had a great connection and she is taking me through the steps.
don't get too discouraged, just get back in there and keep us posted.
you are absolutely worth it!!
hil

NoelleR

Hey Misguidedsoul ---

You've gotten a lot of good advice from other here regarding finding sponsors, AA meetings, fellowship, etc. so I won't belabor the point. Also, there's a great AA pamphlet on sponsorship, called 'Questions & Answers On Sponsorship.' I suggest you give it a read; it's full of great info on being a sponsor, and being a sponsee.

You can read in online on AA's official website.... AA.org (or go right to the pamphlet)..........:

Alcoholics Anonymous : Pamphlets


You did write one thing in you original post that I wanted to point out (perhaps you've been misinformed, or I misread)..........:

"...I need to learn the steps .. I need someone who I can call when my weakness succumbs (sp) to this disease !! ....."

Yes, a sposnor is to be a guide (a helper) for working through AA's steps, but a sponsor is not (the) someone to call when your weakness succumbs to the disease---that would be your support group (from all those folks you talk to and get their phone numbers). One of the things my sponsor had me do when I was new to recovery was to get at least two new phone numbers from folks at each meeting I went to, and then call, and speak to (answering machines didn't count), at least three people every day.....why not give it a try. Sometimes, that phone call you're making for yourself may be just what the person on the othe end needed right at that time....................

(o:
NoelleR

CaiHong

Hi Misguided,
just want to say hullo and come here if you need to chat and no one is available.

Love
CaiHong

tomsteve

have you been to different meetings? how bout still getting the numbers from them ones ya want to be your sponsor? i'll tell ya what i did for my sponsor i have now:
i was about 5 years sober and he was there from the beginning. i called him and said i like what he has and i wanted him to be my sponsor. he said he wasnt able to do that. i said,"welp, jim, i can understand you have the right to say no, but i also have the right to say too friggin bad. yer my sponsor." he had nothin else to say but,"ok."

Misguidedsoul

Thanks will go read




I intended to put that differently, re-reading my post today it didn't quite say what i had meant it to say.. I meant it to say I needed a sponsor to help me with the steps... The needing to call someone was an afterthought that I put in because I think had i talked to someone about how I was feeling before I picked up that first drink last night then I might have remained sober !!

My biggest problem is my self esteem, when I have gone to the AA meetings I have remained largely quiet and don't speak up, so no-one has really communicated directly with me, they do make me feel welcome but I feel awkward about asking for numbers. When i plucked up the courage to speak to someone last time I went they told me that they do sponsor but they have so much on at the moment that they couldn't sponsor at the moment, which i understood and is fair enough...This lack of confidence thing in me is a relatively new thing.. or maybe.. the drink has hidden my problem up till now !!

Veritas1

I found the Joe and Charlie Big Book Study to be very helpful in understanding the book Alcoholics Anonymous.

If you cannot find a sponsor, the online or cd studies and workshops are very helpful.

There are many sites that have AA speakers as well.

This link will take you to Joe and Charlie on XA...

XA-Speakers - The lights are on!

artsoul

I think you did very well to go to AA, Misguided - you need to give yourself more credit. Maybe you could go a little early one day and talk to whoever is leading the meeting. Tell them you're having a hard time feeling comfortable about approaching people and ask them to put the message out at the meeting that you'd like a few phone numbers and are looking for a sponsor. It's OK - I'll bet everyone in that room knows exactly how you feel.

It's a catch-22..... We can't feel good about ourselves until we stop drinking, but it's hard to stop when we think so little of ourselves. You just have to decide you're going to do it. My self-esteem was never lower than when I was drinking but it came back (with a little time), and it will for you, too.

Misguidedsoul

Thanks Artsoul I'll try that

Knowing it's not just me that has felt like that helps... thank you !!

Think I'm beginning to understand this one day at a time thing now, impatience is another trait I need to conquer !

bbthumper

If you are going to open discussion meetings bring it up as a topic. Say that you are looking for someone who has worked the steps and recovered. Trust me, anyone who has worked the steps and would be a good sponsor will be excited to sponsor you. Any recovered AA knows that they need to sponsor as part of their program.

miamifella

There is always a shortage of sponsors. I remember how hard it was to get one when I was new and how competitive it was.

Just stay with it. Everyone has been through this...eventually you will get someone.