Seeking A Better Life
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Trinity NC
Posts: 7
Seeking A Better Life
Not sure where to start, I am new here. This is not the first time I have sought help for my addiction to alcohol, I tried briefly when I was 28. I just recently turned 40 and have been drinking for 20 years, for the exception of the three periods of pregnancy I have been through.
My story is very long and I don't have the time to tell all of it today.
Just want to end this period in my life where I drink half a fifth of tequila or more every night. It doesn't so much affect my day to day activities, but certainly is not healthy... If I don't stop I can see a future where it would become all consuming.
There is so much more I have to say...but this is a start. I am working this out in my head right now. Which is how I ended up here.
My story is very long and I don't have the time to tell all of it today.
Just want to end this period in my life where I drink half a fifth of tequila or more every night. It doesn't so much affect my day to day activities, but certainly is not healthy... If I don't stop I can see a future where it would become all consuming.
There is so much more I have to say...but this is a start. I am working this out in my head right now. Which is how I ended up here.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 557
Nice to see you here NCBlue.
One of my favorite quotes to newcomers is: "If you haven't lost absolutely everything you value in life ... keep drinking ... you will"
If you want to stop, you're starting off in a real great place.
One of my favorite quotes to newcomers is: "If you haven't lost absolutely everything you value in life ... keep drinking ... you will"
If you want to stop, you're starting off in a real great place.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
I know how you feel. I knew I needed recovery when I was 25 and stayed out until I was 45.
I DO NOT recommend that to anyone !!
Alcoholics Anonymous got me sober and has kept me sober for 23 yrs.
(Actually today, July 18, is my anniversary date)
All the best.
Bob R
I DO NOT recommend that to anyone !!
Alcoholics Anonymous got me sober and has kept me sober for 23 yrs.
(Actually today, July 18, is my anniversary date)
All the best.
Bob R
My brain is trying to kill me
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Palo Alto, ca
Posts: 401
Welcome, this is a great start. Lots to do in getting sober; start by doing so one day at a time. Start thinking of joining AA, as even with the help here, it is near impossible to do alone. We in AA can provide the fellowship you will need. Take Care.
Crazy Cat Lady
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
welcome SR NCBlue. i've been to partial hospitalization rehab a couple of times and as great as it was, i found going to AA to be what i personally needed to get me going in sobriety. i highly recommend looking around for some women's meetings. they're really great! i hope you find the fellowship and support you've been looking for here! it's a great group.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Trinity NC
Posts: 7
I went to AA and NA meetings in the past because it was required in the program i was in. It is not good that I chose not to go back then.
Currently have have several friends attending AA groups locally. I'm a little shy about going, and I guess there are several reasons, one being that I have a problem with anxiety and it is way beyond my "comfort zone". I will have to work on this issue. Maybe I can talk to one of my close friend's husband who has been sober for over a year now and he can suggest a female who can help me get in a group. It will be difficult to go every day because I have kids most of the time until school starts in August.
A very huge factor in this is my mental and physical health. As some of you probably have the same issues...I struggle with depression and anxiety. Also, I have blood pressure problems and I have been overweight since my last pregnancy. Drinking has aggravated my other issues, I just get more angry, anxious, or depressed. So, I am tired of feeling like a cloud is hanging over my head all the time. Hating a lot of things about myself or who I have let myself become.
Also I did not mention this but my husband and I share this issue. I think he wants to get serious about quitting too. We both have been kidding ourselves about how this has become a problem. Just because we are functioning and haven't lost everything doesn't mean it can't or won't happen.
Currently have have several friends attending AA groups locally. I'm a little shy about going, and I guess there are several reasons, one being that I have a problem with anxiety and it is way beyond my "comfort zone". I will have to work on this issue. Maybe I can talk to one of my close friend's husband who has been sober for over a year now and he can suggest a female who can help me get in a group. It will be difficult to go every day because I have kids most of the time until school starts in August.
A very huge factor in this is my mental and physical health. As some of you probably have the same issues...I struggle with depression and anxiety. Also, I have blood pressure problems and I have been overweight since my last pregnancy. Drinking has aggravated my other issues, I just get more angry, anxious, or depressed. So, I am tired of feeling like a cloud is hanging over my head all the time. Hating a lot of things about myself or who I have let myself become.
Also I did not mention this but my husband and I share this issue. I think he wants to get serious about quitting too. We both have been kidding ourselves about how this has become a problem. Just because we are functioning and haven't lost everything doesn't mean it can't or won't happen.
Crazy Cat Lady
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
i have a lot of social anxiety and suffer from self image issues. i'm bulimic and am nevery really comfortable with how i look. my years of isolating through alcohol and staying in my house have aggravated my social anxiety and phobias. what i've learned is this. i was comfortable staying inside drinking. it didn't make me happy but it made me feel safe. so now, i know that there's something wrong with that. we have to get used to the idea that what's good for us isn't always going to feel comfortable or "safe." it's going to push our boundaries. these are our growing pains all over again. i suck at social situations. i admit it. i talk too much or not enough. but staying away from people and tapping away at my keyboard isn't going to teach me enough. gotta get out there and make those mistakes and get a little uncomfortable. we deserve the chance to learn. the best thing about AA is that they understand and they forgive us. they're our social training wheels. shoot, i'm having a little breakthrough right now typing this. we're not just there to keep each other sober. we're also there to teach each other how to function again in the real world.
personally, i'm going to make a point of asking another woman if she wants to grab a coffee after meetings. i need to learn how to talk to people again so i can do it without being either aggressive or standoffish.
personally, i'm going to make a point of asking another woman if she wants to grab a coffee after meetings. i need to learn how to talk to people again so i can do it without being either aggressive or standoffish.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: CA
Posts: 3,360
This thread is what I needed to see today, I relate to most everything said. Thanks everyone for honesty, I don't have a lot of good advice cuz I am still isolating a lot. After reading the posts, know have to take baby steps. Glad everyone is here!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Trinity NC
Posts: 7
Yes DisplacedG!!! Being at home and not having a job outside the home for seven years has made this even more of an issue for me. It is so good to hear that i am not alone with these issues. Oh how I hate to run into people I know in public. There are a few places I do feel comfortable. There is church, I have attended the same church off and on since I was 15. I actually participated in VBS a few weeks ago. It was fun...but guess what? When I got home, out came the shot glasses. :-/
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Cleveland, OH
Posts: 1,191
Originally Posted by NCBlue 
I went to AA and NA meetings in the past because it was required in the program i was in. It is not good that I chose not to go back then.
Currently have have several friends attending AA groups locally. I'm a little shy about going, and I guess there are several reasons, one being that I have a problem with anxiety and it is way beyond my "comfort zone". I will have to work on this issue. Maybe I can talk to one of my close friend's husband who has been sober for over a year now and he can suggest a female who can help me get in a group. It will be difficult to go every day because I have kids most of the time until school starts in August.
A very huge factor in this is my mental and physical health. As some of you probably have the same issues...I struggle with depression and anxiety. Also, I have blood pressure problems and I have been overweight since my last pregnancy. Drinking has aggravated my other issues, I just get more angry, anxious, or depressed. So, I am tired of feeling like a cloud is hanging over my head all the time. Hating a lot of things about myself or who I have let myself become.
Also I did not mention this but my husband and I share this issue. I think he wants to get serious about quitting too. We both have been kidding ourselves about how this has become a problem. Just because we are functioning and haven't lost everything doesn't mean it can't or won't happen.
Currently have have several friends attending AA groups locally. I'm a little shy about going, and I guess there are several reasons, one being that I have a problem with anxiety and it is way beyond my "comfort zone". I will have to work on this issue. Maybe I can talk to one of my close friend's husband who has been sober for over a year now and he can suggest a female who can help me get in a group. It will be difficult to go every day because I have kids most of the time until school starts in August.
A very huge factor in this is my mental and physical health. As some of you probably have the same issues...I struggle with depression and anxiety. Also, I have blood pressure problems and I have been overweight since my last pregnancy. Drinking has aggravated my other issues, I just get more angry, anxious, or depressed. So, I am tired of feeling like a cloud is hanging over my head all the time. Hating a lot of things about myself or who I have let myself become.
Also I did not mention this but my husband and I share this issue. I think he wants to get serious about quitting too. We both have been kidding ourselves about how this has become a problem. Just because we are functioning and haven't lost everything doesn't mean it can't or won't happen.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome NCBlue!
I think we all can relate to what you said - I'm really glad you've decided to stop the vicious cycle.
Me too... I was still functioning on the outside but the inside wasn't doing very well. All the things you mentioned above went away for the most part when I got sober. It's scary at first, but it's worth it! 
I think we all can relate to what you said - I'm really glad you've decided to stop the vicious cycle.
I struggle with depression and anxiety. Also, I have blood pressure problems and I have been overweight since my last pregnancy. Drinking has aggravated my other issues, I just get more angry, anxious, or depressed.
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