Zazzzzz

Is this feasible? I've been drinking nearly every night for five years to the point of passing out. Can I realistically try to just "tone it down" and drink like a normal person? Everything's telling me I can't, but drinking is so socially crucial, especially in your late 20s, that I don't know if I could just quit forever and have every day be a "one day at a time" mental struggle where I tell myself never again.

Any help?

duane1

Possible, but unlikely.

MycoolFitz

Well whatever you decide to try the best to you. I tried everway I could to moderate and control my drinking for decades but no method lasted, things just got progressively worse, the nature of the dis-ease.

bbthumper

My opinion...
Give it a try. One of the symptoms of alcoholism is the inability to do long term, controlled drinking. Its a great way to determine if you are an alcoholic.

If you find that you cant control it or when you do drink you cant control how much you take, youre probably an alcoholic.

Notmyrealname

It's not feasible for me. your mileage may vary.

I like drinking every night much more than I like drinking once a week. (I know this, because when I have tried to drink once a week I have been very unhappy with the idea of not drinking for the other six nights that week.)

I do, however, like not drinking at all much more than drinking every night. Puts way less wear on the tires, if you get my drift.

Is drinking really "socially crucial"? I think there are people in their twenties and thirties who don't drink. Just because you haven't met them spending your evenings at the bar (go figure) doesn't mean they are not out there. Living sober probably isn't as bad as you think it may be.

jobei

I tried it and failed miserably. When I wasn't drinking I was unhappy and wishing it was a "drinking" night. That quickly led (lasted two weeks maybe?) to every night being my "drinking" night once again... then every afternoon... every morning. Trying to cut down is a good idea though and I wish you the best with it! I'm sure there are some people that manage to do it... just like some people win the lottery.

Zazzzzz

Thanks for you replies.

Maybe socially crucial is an overstatement, although where I live it's pretty much the only way to meet people. But maybe I'm just being narrow-minded about it. I'm just really anxious around people when I first meet them, and alcohol has been the only means at my disposal to grease the wheels. I'm not sure how to work on that.

Threshold

The "one day at a time" struggle, is not life long for most of us. Many of us find it subsiding within weeks or months.

In the social circle you currently run in, drinking may be the norm, but it is not crucial to life, not even for the young and upcoming.

I challenge the idea that drinking to excess of passing out, even one night a week is a normal or healthy thing.

Drinking till you pass out seems like substance abuse to me. If I abuse my dog, but only one night a week...does that mean it's OK?

If I eat till I vomit...but only one night a week...is that OK? Or if I cut, but only once a week?

Drinking may be more acceptable in society, but abuse and disordered behavior is what it is, whether it happens once a week, once a month or nightly.

My life has vastly improved since I quit giving myself over to disordered and unhealthy/dangerous behavior.

Zazzzzz

This is great to hear. It's my one big worry. I've been on forums like this before as a lurker, and some people who have been clean for months or years or even decades still post things like "one day at a time" or "your post helped me stay sober for another day." It seems so precarious, like you could tip at any time back into drinking. That's what worries me. I want the need to just go away or at least be far enough back in my mind that I can just get on with things.

From some things I read, it seems like there are people who can never let it go. I'm terrified of being one of them.

freshstart57

It's up to you how you choose to deal with your drinking. Most of us have tried 'to cut down' before we just packed it in and accepted that we can't drink anymore.

I was exactly the same way when I decided to quit drinking. Not all sobriety plans let you be sober for just one day at a time - with some, you quit once and for all. I liked that idea a whole bunch better, so that's what I did.

I wish you the best on your journey. Keep posting here, there is a lot of support for you.

jobei

I can attest to this for sure! IT DEFINATELY gets easier as time goes by and less becomes less stressfull! This is a big part of why I could never quit drinking before... I could never get over that first month. During that first month it was a daily battle of temptation and each time I gave in... mainly because I felt that I couldn't live with that daily battle for the rest of my life. Now I'm 4 months sober and it's completely different than it was. I am still vigilant but it's totally different and much much easier. I feel at peace for the first time in my life. I am not scared of the future. I always heard people say that it gets easier over time but I never thought that it would. It does!

Zazzzzz

Thanks so much for this. This is exactly what I need to hear. I've tried for days, even two weeks (my max in the last five years) yet I fell back into it. I just want to know the feeling will subside. Thanks!

jobei

You got it my friend... it's the truth!

Gravesmeister

Actually if you look around at most of society you'll find that most of society doesn't drink that much.

MrsKing

Drinking is socially crucial in your late 20s? Only if you believe it to be.

I'm 24. I've been sober over three months. My life is far more enjoyable now, I feel happy now, and most of all I've got my self back now. It's worth it to be sober. It may feel like you will miss out on the fun of young life if you are sober but I can tell you that with a little work, you can change how you feel about socialising and what fun truly is. I have far more fun now than I've ever had... I know that alcohol only pretended to make things better for me - it never actually did.

Can you ever moderate? Well, that's something that only you can know. But for me, it's impossible. Once I have that first sip, everything changes. From what I can gather, alcohol is progressive... and where you are now, you'll probably never go back to how you drank before. It generally only gets worse.

I wish you all the best.

Michael66

Hi Zazzzzz,

My experience was that I could control alcohol intake for a while, but then slowly but surely the interval between drinking reduced, and the quantity of alcohol I drank increased. I think usually within a couple of months I was back where I started.

Good luck, whatever you decide.

God bless.

FredG

Drinking every night - drinking once a week -drinking twice monthly - getting blitzed twice a year. All the same, in my opinion.

I once went 6 months then got drunk for a week. Went another 3 and got drunk for 2 weeks. (That's called bingeing) So I started drinking every night and that was much better since I only got drunk 7 days a week.

instant

The problem with persisting in trying to get it right is that I really did not factor in that this stuff is addictive. There was no way to drink myself to a better place.

justhadenough

Maybe look into AVRT-have a read of the book 'Rational Recovery'

It disagrees with the 'one day at a time' concept. see what you think

sugarbear1

I'm thinking that if you could, you would have by done that by now without asking for opinions from people on a recovery site...meaning, do it. If you can't, then you will KNOW you can't!

Welcome to SR!

You aren't the youngest person to stay stopped, if you choose to do so. It's about what helps or hurts us in life. We have to decide for ourselves what our actions will be; we can't let society determine them for us. There's lots of things people do without drinking!!! Fun in sobriety? More than you may know if you don't attempt it!

I wish you well whatever your decision will be! Stick around here, we have lots of support for you!