New here
New here
My head is kind of a mess right now but I wanted to post a little intro about myself – as another user suggested I do. I also don’t wanna be rude so I thought I’d share a little. My name is B (my handle "Snapper" is as in picture-taker, not like I snap at people – LOL, I just realized that is kind of a bitchy handle, a bitch, I am not.) I’m 29 - and a half and I live in Chicago. I’ve been drinking heavily since I turned 21, other than the 15 months I spent clean through AA when I was 22-23 years old, I’ve drank pretty much every day for nearly a decade. I’m not really new to addiction and recovery, just revisiting the recovery part.
A few very recent events have pointed me in the direction of cleaning up my ****; two weekends ago I was attending the wedding of 2 very close friends. And I got ****-wrecked. I fell down, it was bad. I was walking down the driveway to go sleep it off in the car when I fell & I really hurt myself. I knocked myself out, gave myself a black eye and possibly a broken nose (it makes weird crunching sounds when I press on the side I fell on), I also slid across pavement so my strapless dress came down and I tore up my chest with bad road rash. I also tore off all the skin on the outside of my right leg. Only one person actually saw me fall and he said I “bounced off the pavement like a super-ball.” People joked about it but underneath the laughs I was mortified.
Fast forward a couple of weeks to this past weekend. On Saturday, I drank an entire bottle of high end vodka and I didn’t get drunk. I was like What. The. ****?! I knew it had to stop.
throughout all of this I've been gaining weight and I'm fairly sure I have sleep apnia, I've been told by my doctor that drinking and smoking is really bad for people who have this. I've woken up choking and completely unable to breath a few times recently, and these instances are becoming more frequent, and it's really scary.
I drank a couple of bottles of wine yesterday knowing that it was the last time. I went to bed wishing I was more drunk because I knew I wasn’t going to drink today.
So now all I can think about is not drinking. I have a very black-and-white personality and I know that moderation just isn’t something I can do. I either need to be not drinking or – well, how I have been for the past 6 or so years.
I haven’t told anyone of my plan to kick the habit, but I’ve been alluding to slowing down for a while. I came here for two reasons, I’m looking for something that’s not 12 step based & looking for support. *shrug* so that’s it. I don’t know how much more I’ll be able to be on here tonight, but I’ll come back tomorrow (hopefully not hungover) and see what’s cookin’
Thanks for e-listening.
A few very recent events have pointed me in the direction of cleaning up my ****; two weekends ago I was attending the wedding of 2 very close friends. And I got ****-wrecked. I fell down, it was bad. I was walking down the driveway to go sleep it off in the car when I fell & I really hurt myself. I knocked myself out, gave myself a black eye and possibly a broken nose (it makes weird crunching sounds when I press on the side I fell on), I also slid across pavement so my strapless dress came down and I tore up my chest with bad road rash. I also tore off all the skin on the outside of my right leg. Only one person actually saw me fall and he said I “bounced off the pavement like a super-ball.” People joked about it but underneath the laughs I was mortified.
Fast forward a couple of weeks to this past weekend. On Saturday, I drank an entire bottle of high end vodka and I didn’t get drunk. I was like What. The. ****?! I knew it had to stop.
throughout all of this I've been gaining weight and I'm fairly sure I have sleep apnia, I've been told by my doctor that drinking and smoking is really bad for people who have this. I've woken up choking and completely unable to breath a few times recently, and these instances are becoming more frequent, and it's really scary.
I drank a couple of bottles of wine yesterday knowing that it was the last time. I went to bed wishing I was more drunk because I knew I wasn’t going to drink today.
So now all I can think about is not drinking. I have a very black-and-white personality and I know that moderation just isn’t something I can do. I either need to be not drinking or – well, how I have been for the past 6 or so years.
I haven’t told anyone of my plan to kick the habit, but I’ve been alluding to slowing down for a while. I came here for two reasons, I’m looking for something that’s not 12 step based & looking for support. *shrug* so that’s it. I don’t know how much more I’ll be able to be on here tonight, but I’ll come back tomorrow (hopefully not hungover) and see what’s cookin’
Thanks for e-listening.
((Snapper)) Welcome to SR!! Just as a caution, please do seek medical care if stopping the alcohol causes problems...it can be serious, even fatal.
As far as recovery, I did go to 12-step meetings, still use what I learned there. However, I've got over 5 years in recovery thanks to SR, the people here, and wanting to recover more than anything else. There are different ways to recovery, I think the most important part is how bad we want it.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
As far as recovery, I did go to 12-step meetings, still use what I learned there. However, I've got over 5 years in recovery thanks to SR, the people here, and wanting to recover more than anything else. There are different ways to recovery, I think the most important part is how bad we want it.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 522
Welcome Snapper.
I think it's great you are recognizing the progression of alcoholism at a young age. I'm 45 and believe me, I wish could have had the insight you have at 29.
I remember when I couldn't get drunk off beer anymore. So I switched to liquor.
I also remember when I couldn't get drunk off a fifth anymore.
So I started buying handles (1.75 L).
Use any program that works for you, because it only gets worse.
All the best,
SD
I think it's great you are recognizing the progression of alcoholism at a young age. I'm 45 and believe me, I wish could have had the insight you have at 29.
I remember when I couldn't get drunk off beer anymore. So I switched to liquor.
I also remember when I couldn't get drunk off a fifth anymore.
So I started buying handles (1.75 L).
Use any program that works for you, because it only gets worse.
All the best,
SD
Welcome Snapper.
I think it's great you are recognizing the progression of alcoholism at a young age. I'm 45 and believe me, I wish could have had the insight you have at 29.
I remember when I couldn't get drunk off beer anymore. So I switched to liquor.
I also remember when I couldn't get drunk off a fifth anymore.
So I started buying handles (1.75 L).
Use any program that works for you, because it only gets worse.
All the best,
SD
I think it's great you are recognizing the progression of alcoholism at a young age. I'm 45 and believe me, I wish could have had the insight you have at 29.
I remember when I couldn't get drunk off beer anymore. So I switched to liquor.
I also remember when I couldn't get drunk off a fifth anymore.
So I started buying handles (1.75 L).
Use any program that works for you, because it only gets worse.
All the best,
SD
I dont know what other programs there are other than AA. any ideas?
(my computer is acting up, so I can't edit my post)
Search out:
Rational Recovery
AVRT
SMART
Women for Sobriety
Life Ring (I think you create your own program)
There may be others, I can't think of them off hand.
Best wishes on your recovery journey!
Search out:
Rational Recovery
AVRT
SMART
Women for Sobriety
Life Ring (I think you create your own program)
There may be others, I can't think of them off hand.
Best wishes on your recovery journey!
Grateful AA member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: In the middle of the woods, NJ
Posts: 567
Welcome Snapper my first thought was the fish not someone that "snaps" at everyone :rotfxko Welcome to SR. I am 32 and drank for a decade too not heavily at first but the progressed really kicked my ass. Its good to seek help now and glad to meet you. Keep on posting.
Welcome, also.
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