ACT10Npack

Been hanging around with this girl I met online. First time I met her she was sober but later on the night she started to take shots. I didn't think too much of it because it was really late at night and it was on a Saturday. When we woke up the next day she started to drink again. It was about noon (we went to bed around 5 am in the morning.). She said that she was chancing the hangover. Well, that didn't work for her because she got trash again. It was funny at the time but we could not do any on Sunday that we plan. She said that it was too hot to go out. I told her that even though it was too hot your too trash to do anything. Well later, she told me that she did not remember what happen that day. 3 weeks later when I came over to her place. Her cousin was there and they just started to drink. Wine that I bring over, they drank most of it in dinner time. She decided to go to the drive in movie theater. It was about 11pm. She got upset and then we decided to go. Me nor the cousin wanted to go to the movies. It was a Sunday night and I have a small car. Well, they wanted to drink when watching the movie and she brings a 750ml vodka. I was not really in the mood nor the cousin to go because it was hot and in a small car it's somewhat pointless going. Well after 2 hours went get home and she takes a few more shots. Well, later on today when I'm at work she calls me and ask me "why do I have taco next to me in bed." I told her that she ask for that.

She ask like a first year college student without the good parts.

Anyway, I'm getting no sex out of this relationship, she is bossy, drinks too much and ask me are we exclusive. Don't know how to tell her that I don't want to hang out with her anymore.

Dinah

Action, I am new but imma throw a few things out there. Like me, your sober date is recent. It's probably not a good idea to start a new relationship with a heavy drinker? That alone would be a good thing to tell her: you're trying to get your life on track with the drinking and you need someone who is willing/able to be on the journey to recovery with you.

Also, you brought her wine? ... You don't want her to drink so much, right? Why would you enable? As far as the bossy part goes, my only advice would be, RUN. Good luck to you.

Anna

Action, it would probably be a good idea to be honest with her and tell her that you can't be around someone who is drinking so much. I know it's hard to be honest, but you know that your own recovery is your priority.

Live2Run25

I agree. I would tell her straight up that her drinking is a negative influence on you and that you wish to go your own way. Tell her the truth. She'll probably act negative because she will see that SHE drinks too much, but get out now before this girl takes you down with her.

Muunray

Yeah..she sounds like I was when I drank...it's not a good thing.
Keep it simple, like Paper Dolls said, just tell her the truth. Anything else would be a waste of time and energy.

hypochondriac

I'm actually really shocked that you went back for a second date after last time Act...?!

The best way to let her go...just be honest. Your are a newly recovering alcoholic and you don't think she's healthy for you. I don't think you need to put too much thought into it. She'll probably just forget anyway.

It does seem like you are intent on putting yourself in harms way...? There are plenty of sober girls out there. Why did you go to see her again?

ACT10Npack

Thanks, not worry about me drinking. Have that part under control now. Just don't want to be with someone that blacks out or is drinking like a college student. I'm almost 30 years old. Time to grow up, you know!

PaperDolls

Just be honest with her. It does feel more difficult at first but it ends up being much easier. There's no lie to remember. Ahhhh. It feels good.

Grateful Heart

Congrats on your sobriety. I agree with the folks here who say to let this young lady go. You need to protect your sobriety at all costs right now. Grateful Heart. P.S. My sobreity date is June 3, 2007!

MrsKing

I remember you writing about the first date and it sounded awful, why did you go back to see her?

I guess people always deserve a second chance.

Her second chance hasn't really gone very well, though, so I think it's safe to say that the way she is drinking around you is the way she drinks always... and for someone who is working on sobriety, this is dangerous. Even if it isn't dangerous, and you're firm in your recovery, it's annoying and boring to be with someone who is always drunk. I don't mind the first few drinks... or people being a little more chatty etc, but full on drunk is just painfully irritating. I should probably be more sympathetic since that was me many a time, but hey.

The best way to break it off with her is to just break it off. She'll get over it... you've only seen her twice and both times she was too drunk to remember things so it probably won't impact on her too much. Tell her that you're done with drinking and being around her is too much.

Also, I wouldn't take wine to someone who I knew had a drinking issue. If you don't like her drunk, don't help her get drunk!

Good luck and all the best.

tomsteve

why does there have to be an explaination? since she is an alcoholic, yer prolly gonna have to be a bit brutal to get the message across and i think," my sobriety is too valuable to me to be hanging around people that drink so i cant have you around me anymore" would work good. if she has a problem with it, its her problem. not only that, but alowing that behavior around you is enabling her.

freshstart57

I like the way you put that, ACT10NPack. 30 years old, time to move on from that mess. And just tell the truth, nbd. Onward. There are plenty of women who would like your attention, I'm sure.

KnowHope

I'm reminded that sobriety as I know it to be, want it to be and believe is required for my survival is a way of life, and has so much more to do with just not drinking.

I see so many things that make me worry about you.

What are you doing for your recovery today?