feel lost...out of addictive relationship

Old 07-15-2012, 01:41 PM
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feel lost...out of addictive relationship

Hi,

I am new to this site... I recently exited a verbally abusive relationship with an alcoholic/drug abuser (only pot to my knowledge, nothing "horrible"). The relationship went back and forth for about a year, make up/break up, etc. and finally he seems to have moved on and doesn't want me anymore.

I feel so unneeded
I feel so unloved
The fears that I'm "not good enough" seem to again be surfacing
I feel empty without him even though it was so bad, as we talked every day.

I grew up as a pastor's kid, but in a highly disfunctional family. My mom was daughter of an abusive alcoholic and my dad is very controlling. They are great people but were very absent and I cant seem to obtain good relationship skills as an adult and on my own.

I just wanted to fit in, and it seems like my ex cared about me and provided me with a lot of fun and mutual friends. I have my own big time problems, struggling with bulimia and serious depression.. when I found him and busied my life up with other things, I was able to end the bulimia totally, though I seem to be seeping back into depression. My ex was into drugs, alcohol... and so were his friends.. but I finally didn't feel alone, instead I felt included and cared about. I always seem to feel alone unless I'm in the drama of a bad relationship.. How can I just meet good people who are able to have a relationship with me... as a single 34 y/o it seems everyone is married or highly disfunctional..

Anyway, I am sorry for rambling. I guess this is my selfish way of reaching out and hoping for some understanding. I have an interview tomorrow for a new job (yay) since my current contract is ending, and would love to be in a good emotional state... but it's just so hard feeling abandoned..

Thank you and hope you are all having a nice Sunday.
britchic1 is offline  
Old 07-15-2012, 01:52 PM
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Originally Posted by britchic1 View Post
Hi,

I am new to this site... I recently exited a verbally abusive relationship with an alcoholic/drug abuser (only pot to my knowledge, nothing "horrible"). The relationship went back and forth for about a year, make up/break up, etc. and finally he seems to have moved on and doesn't want me anymore.

I feel so unneeded
I feel so unloved
The fears that I'm "not good enough" seem to again be surfacing
I feel empty without him even though it was so bad, as we talked every day.
hello britchic,

welcome to the community...like you i am new to this site but i am so happy that i found it...you will get a lot of support here and if you keep reading, you will find that you are not alone and there are others who have and are experiencing what you have right now.

just like you, my xabf just decided our relationship is done, because i decided to stop enabling, although i told him that i love him to death and i would do anything to help him get sober....he decided to go with someone who is a recovering addict, alcoholic and weed smoker and has a son who smokes weed too. just like you i felt unneeded, unloved and not good enough...

i am still trying to cope, let go and move on, its hard on me, but thanks to SR friends, they help me go through it just by sharing their stories and expressing their care and concern...

just hang in there...peace to you.
mrsbrownie is offline  
Old 07-15-2012, 01:56 PM
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Thank you. I think I'm in denial that someone can be addicted to pot, or that he even has any issues. but he SCREAMS at me and sabotages plans we have by making fights for the last 2 months, every weekend. It's like he didn't want to see me, but wanted me in his life, and now he has moved on and totally cut me out.

I feel so stupid and lonely. I am actually fun, but can be a nag when I feel like someone doesn't care about me, and I'm sure that doesn't bode well for someone with addictions..

Thank you for the reply.
britchic1 is offline  

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